Aight, I know I'll fail but lemme at least try to keep this short.

Hanging out at the frat with a friend, we decide to leave with a couple of cute girls we know. Ratio is good-4 girls, two of us. Things are going great on the way to the other frat part. I pick two of the girls(Both very cute, 7's or 8's for sure) and start gaming them. I'm drunk so I'm actually doing pretty well. We're joking, they're stealing my hat and running away with it, etc.

Get to the frat, all of us start dancing. One of the girls I was gaming kinda flakes a bit(stood away and wouldn't dance...kind of a prude I guess). I hone in on the other and we hit it off. Grinding like crazy, decent k-close(I've never kissed before so getting over that was huge).

Says she has to go to the bathroom. I show her where to go-seems like a decent opportunity. This is where I think I messed up. We're in the bathroom just talking and I remember forgetting her name. She starts to seem doubtful about hooking up. She says I'm "really hot" but she doesn't just have sex. But then, a minute later, she starts leading me away from the bathroom to another room upstairs in the building...we're alone. She says "This is where it happened" and briefly starts talking about some other hookup she had with some guy early in the year here.
She says she doesn't just want a one night hook up(I don't think she trusts me).

I say I don't know wtf she's talking about and move in...escalation is going good. I take her shirt of, and bra comes down to. Then I went to unbutton her pants...

Fail there. She says "what do you think I wanna have sex with you?" I'm like "Pretty sure you do, yes" and after talking a little more she eventually puts clothes and and moves to leave. She meets her friends downstairs and they move back up to the bathroom. After I got her name from a friend down there, I foolishly went up to try and talk to her again. Her friend(the other girl I'd been gaming on the way to the place who stood off) was aggressively guarding, I'm talking heavy cockblock here, no way through. As she moves to leave later with her friends I(again, idiotically) move after her and call her name. They actually start running away. This is at like 1AM.
I go back inside and chill some more, dance with some other girls, go home 2 hours later.

Here's what I wanna know. I kinda do dig this chick and I'd like to have more contact with her. I feel I was a little too aggressive last night, and I obviously didn't reassure her much by failing to remember her name.
So could I friend her on facebook? would that be advisable? And if so, should I send an opener as a message? which openers might work in this situation?
And if I were to see her again(say, tonight) what should I say/do? I'd love to at least get her number.
Or should I just leave her alone for a while longer?

Hey man,
Short summary is: the girl really liked YOU and not the your game, cause it seems like you weren't playing a very good game. Forgive me for being harsh here - but she takes you to the room to at least make out and everything she wanted was to be gamed a little smoother, not just like : "You are horny, I am horny - lets fuck" - type of deal.

What you encountered is in fact a well documented phenomenon and is called a "Last minute Resistance" or "LMR". Mystery has done a good job on explaining origins of it - try googling.

So I guess now you are dealing with the situation where the girl thinks that you are a just another jerk and there is nothing special about you. There is really no 100% way to turn a missed opportunity back into an opportunity, but I would try to communicate something along these lines:

Hey, just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for acting like a jerk yesterday. I guess I was drunk and misinterpreted the signals you were sending. I thought you brought me to that room to hook up and were just teasing me - so I didn't want to disappoint you by being "hey, let me introduce you to my mom first"-type of guy ) Anyways, I hope you understand my point and we are cool. Say hi to your friends - they have done a pretty good job on not letting me to explain myself to you that night )


not sure how it is better for you to communicate this - maybe via facebook or something... You should convey that it was sort of drunken misunderstanding on BOTH SIDES - don't just plead guilty! If she responds positively - shoot shit with her for a little bit and then offer to hang out in a company of common friends and then take it from there.

Good luck and next time try to pay more attention to what girl is saying

Dunkan.

Thanks Dunkan, I appreciate the honesty. thinking on it now i was definitely too direct. I said something just like the "you're horny, I'm horny" deal. Ah well.

My question now is for next time...how do I escalate without seeming too forward/direct? Should I have just maintained a plateau(kept kissing her but waited for her to make the next move) and slowed it down? Or should I have said something to reassure her?

The thing is, your best bet to have sex with a woman is to get her so horny that she goes for it. Thing is, she told you she didn't want to hook up. Whenever a girl says something like that, you need to show some respect and go with it. It may change, but not listening to her can lead to a whole lotta shit, like what you faced that night. Kiss, bite, suck, etc, dude, because you gotta get a girl incredibly hot to get her to overcome the initial statement of not wanting to hook up. Get on top of her while you're making out, if the two of you are in sexual positions it's gonna start gettin into her head. Or put her on top of you, that's just my preference haha. You can still go for it and try to take her pants off, but if she says no you just tell her that's fine with you. Go back to messin around and maybe try it later, or guide her hand down to your pants and see whether she goes for it.

My thought? Since her friends were there she didn't want to have sex in case they found out somehow. That's slut defense for you, and it always sucks. Apologizing like what was already said by Dunkan isn't a bad idea at all.

Alright, thanks guys. If I see her around again I might say something apologetic. I've mentally crossed her off the list though for the most part. I'm hoping that with this advice I can at least avoid making this mistake again.

Most of the readers of this forum could advice you here and the reason for it is that the problem you ran into is well known and well documented. There are a lot of articles out there on this topic written by MPUAS. Try reading more on kino escalation and last minute resistance.

Also wanted to add to what Z-Wrex wrote. If a girl tells upfront that she isn't gonna have sex (hook up) with you - you do have to show respect to this statement, however you should also know that sex is on her mind! I personally laid multiple girls who only couple of hours earlier said "Ok, I'll come, but so you know - WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX TONIGHT" ) - in man's language it means: "I am attracted to you and would sleep with you, I just need some roadmap for backward rationalization of what I am about to do". In situations like that I like to go cocky/funny by saying "Hey, I am not offering you any!" and then you take it from there. Sometimes you may not f-close, but just make out and then f-close next time - I have personally experienced this course of events too.

Kino escalation is very important and extremely powerful. If you do it right - you can make out with a girl on a first date even though she consciously isn't ready for it (not always a good thing as it turns out). Read about it and try to experiment with some disposable girls (one's you care less about losing).

Cheers.

I would have to agree with Duncan here.

My rule is- Every girl that makes out with you wants to have sex with you.

Women aren't like men. It takes more than desire for that to happen. There needs to be comfort. I bring this topic up every time a friend tells me how he's fucked WAY more girls than me, because I've made out with way more. To me it's about the power in that equation.

Just keep turning her on. That is the purpose of making out anyways so if you're doing that it's ok to start kissing on her neck and ears. Feel out the situation. Feel her legs and ass and each time go a little bit closer and grab a little bit tighter. You want to ease into the situation.

But most of all if you get stopped then don't be offended. Thats where her boundaries are and it has nothing to do with you. Just slow things down from there and let it build up. If she's turned on enough she'll be more likely to give in to temptation.

Just don't be a dick about it if she does give in. Even though society looks down upon women for hooking up, it doesn't mean you should too. Respecting the sexuality of the opposite sex is going to help you with LMR as well. A girl needs to know you're not going to think she's a slut before she sleeps with you.

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