Secrets To S.N.L. (Same Night Lay)

Hey Guys,

This one is for the men! Guys I'm going to talk about a pretty controversial topic out there in the dating community and that is S.N.L. No, I don't mean "Saturday Night Live" I'm talking about Same Night Lays. Through your many requests with voting and email I have had multiple people ask me to talk about this, and get my methods on the subject.

I can hear the ladies screaming in the background as I write this. Let's get on thing straight there is a big difference in this and a ONS or One Night Stand. Getting a single night lay is a great way to gaining a relationship. Going home with her is a great way to get things started. A one night stand implies there is no comfort just seduction and you never see each other again. I want to build comfort with her first, then take her to bed, and continue the relationship from there.

I'll be the first to tell you I don't really teach this stuff in my normal program because I like to keep up a certain image. With that being said, screw it, it's time to get to the crown jewels of dating. This is your choice to do and not mine. I am going to tell you how to "build the bomb" but I"ll let your concious be your guide to if you do it. Fair enough?

Your beliefs are going to be one of the first things you are going to need to change in order to become successful with this stuff. I'd advise you if you haven't already to check out blogs from guys like Sinn, El Topo, or Captain Jack who are very good with this stuff for extra tips, as that is where I learned a bunch of this.

One of the first things you need to change in your head is that you have to realize that a lot of women don't go out to the clubs/bars only to hang out, talk, and drink. Guess what? They can do all that stuff at home whenever the hell they want! They go out because they desire interaction with guys and they want to flirt and want to have sex, and be "picked up." I know this is a stretch for some of you to realize.

For those that have a harder time understanding this you might want to check out some books by Nancy Friday like "My Secret Garden" or others that give you insight into the minds and sexual desires of women. Many of you would be shocked at what you read. Just this mental adjustment makes a huge difference in the way you approach things and see the world around you.

Here are some things to get into your head right now:

-Everyone like sex!
-Most men don't realize what women find sexually attractive about men.
-Most people are uncomfortable about sex. Both have insecurtiies and they shouldn't be.
-Many guys don't know what women like to be thought of in terms of their sexuality.

Outside of mindset some other things you are going to need to be good with are: screening the girls, kino escalation "touching", sexualizing the conversation, moving and bouncing, figuring out logistics, patience, and last minute restistence handling.

I'll go over these topics some more later down the line. Let's start from the beginning of the night now that we understand women are sex. You are going to need to get in the venue early. You are going to need a good start to the night. The preference on this is definitely going to be to night game. I know guys that have the ability during the day but it's a lot tougher. Pick and choose your battles in this world. The other reason you need to get in a place early is you are going to need to work pretty fast. Most places close at about 2:30 am like here in Nashville. You will need to be into "comfort" phase with the girl by 12:30AM to 1:30AM to have a good chance.

The next thing is you are going to have to screen the girls you are opening, and have a pretty "solid" interaction going on and isolated with her in comfort about 20-25 minutes into the interaction. If things are doubtful that its going to work or it's not "vibing" then it's time to get out. You have enough obstacles to overcome later without plowing now only to end up without a girl late in the night. Everything starts out pretty normally as if you were approaching anyone else for that matter.

You go through the attraction phase really no different that you would any other night. When you get to the question "How do you all know each other?" and my follow up question that I use "Are you out for a special occassion or just because you deserve it?" you get your first view into the logistics of the set.

If you know why the group came together in the first place this will help you figure out how things will work out for you later when it goes to split up, or leave together.

Hint: You'll find out that mixed sets will work out better overall. I'll talk about logistics in just a moment. However, most all girl groups ride together. Most mixed groups ride seperate or in smaller groups making things more favorable for us.

It's when you get to comfort that things really start to differ. So we're picking this up from about 20 minutes into the interaction. She's attracted to you, and things are going well. You've "moved" her within the venue to isolate and talk to her one on one. Now is when the process changes a little bit. There are 3 things you need to be thinking of at this point.

*Kino Escalation
*Logistic Issues
*Sexualizing the conversation; or Sexual Framing

You want to start touching and escalating to get her comfortable with your touch. If she's not receptive to this and you can't get it going then it's time to move on quickly. Get it going and keep it going. Touch on the arm, legs, hold hands, touch her face, kiss, etc. Gradually turn up the heat.

You need to figure out logistic issues NOW! You need to know who she rode with or did she drive herself. Obviously, if she drove it's easier and she can follow you etc. later on. It's okay to flat out ask how she got there at times. Granted I don't do this all at once I blend it into the conversation. I might say something like, "You're not driving tonight are you?" Her response will tell me how things should play out. She might say she isn't drinking or so and so is driving, etc. Another important reason not to drink, so you can drive!

Other logistic issues include what time she has to be up in the morning. What obligations does she have the next day? These will seriously goof you up at the last minute if you don't get this straight up front. You might get so far only to find out she has to be at work at 6am and it's 2AM now, that's not good. She's going to be focused on going home sobering up, and ditching your ass for a later day.

When you find the right girl and the logistics are good as you are comfort building and getting to know each other. As I mentioned before you are kino escalating and now we introduce the sexual framing to get the "mood" going. You're not placing an important on sex; we're just talking about it more. Also, be sure not to disqualify yourself out of a lay. Something like saying "I think it's important two people really like each other before having sex..." can kill it. It's casual, you are consenting adults, it's all good!

You can see the shift from normal comfort building. You can start saying things to sexualize the encounter. Here are some things I enjoyed from El Topo:

-OMG, I can’t believe you said that, but you know what… I can tell, especially with that hairstyle, that you were always oneof those girls that had a really cute look to you, but I bet that kept you out of trouble.
-Now I know you like you hand in thecookie jar, but sometimes getting caughtis what you were always looking for.
-Like I can tell with you that you always liked to get into trouble, it was always fun, but once you got caught that is when you would feel bad about it.
-That is the shitty thing about society,is people think about and perceive women in different ways. Like my friend DenisS always say that men like sex more than women, and I couldn’t disagree with him more. I think that women like sex as much as men if not more.
-You know if you keep looking at me like that, I am going to have to make a woman out of you- I am going to have to starthitting on you- I am going to have to takeyou over in that corner and press you upagainst the wall and take you right there
-Here give me your hand (slap it). See with a girl like you that sort of thing feels good. You’re totally one of those girls that like to have her hair pulled and ass slapped, I bet your favorite position is from behind.

These types of things can give you some ideas as to what to say to get things sexualize in the right way. Please I encourage you to use your own material eventually, but this will give you ideas and some lines to say if you aren't very original.

Now we are leading further into the night. Things have gone well for you up to this point. The "vibe" is turning sexual and we have things going strong. We still have time to kill before the club closes at 2:30AM. Now we just have to be patient and hang out pretty much. "Put in your time" and "hang out until sex happens" as Captain Jack says and keep the comfort going. You don't stop kino escalation but don't let it go too far either. You will initiate some "push / pull" to keep things heated.

You might lean in for a kiss, and stare into her eyes, she's about to kiss and then do something like say she has nice earings. There are so many ways to do "push / pull" tactics you'll find them. Chances are she's doing some too at this point. She might even say, "You're not getting laid tonight." Remember believing is what will get you there. This is mostly a shit test, and she's flirting with you to see how easy you give up. DON'T FALL FOR THIS. You're just buying your time until it happens.

The place is about to close and the party is about to break up. We need a game plan to get us the rest of the way there. We need to plan a "bounce" or time bridge to get us back to our place. Basically, we need a suggestion for things to do. You need to start to plant the seed to stay out later. Saying things like, "I'm not ready to go home, I'm having such a great time." or "I wish this night wouldn't end." Then you start making suggestions for places to bounce. Mention hanging out at your place for this great movie you talked about before or suggest food. Another great idea is an after hours club, the reason for this is you have to go by your place to get alchohol first to take with you.

HINT: Never discuss how far away you live if it can be helped. This can become an objection later. I use vauge things like it's just right down the road, etc. Just get to the seduction location, her place or yours.

Anyways, you have to develop a social excuse for her coming back to your place. Any excuse pretty much works but the girl has to have this. It's just part of normal social pressure. That way she can tell her friends, "I went to his place to get some beer to take to the club then one thing led to another..." Look for her reaction when doing this to gauge where you are with her.

When you get in the car to go to the "seduction location" you need to start amping things up. Start kissing at the stop lights and getting things going a bit. Keep using your push / pull tactics to continue the sexual tension. When you actually arrive to your place invite her in for a drink, to use the restroom, clean up, check her makeup, or whatever while you "change shirt, get the beer, get some more money" whatever the excuse was. Get her in the place.

Note: Keep your place clean and picked up. A girl views a guys place to figure out what he's like. Also, make sure to leave your lights on. No one likes coming into a dark place for some guy she just met. Give her a quick tour of the place and make her feel "comfortable." Also, make sure you're stocked up in your place with girly drinks, condoms, feminine products in case, etc. I wrote about this once before if you need to reference the Grocery Shopping List.

Finally, you have to be ready to ramp up the kino and touching. It's time to push for the close. This I assume you can figure out how to do. Start with makeout and touching and continue from there. Either you'll get a awesome lay, or continue on with the night have awesome comfort built and can easily get a smoking Day 2 that will likely lead to sex.

Hope you all enjoyed all this as much as I did writing it,

Jon
aka. JSmooth

thanks man, this is exactly what i was after!
helped alot!!

Awesome, glad I could help.