So in my field report which no body has commented or gave feed back - however, I number closed this chick and email closed this chick at this party I went to last night. So, I was complementing on whether or not to send her a message. So, I contacted her on myspace and wrote a playful message. I didn't want to sound desperate and I think it was okay - I re-read the message before I sent it. Here it goes. The chick gave me alot of IOI's, kinoed and shit like that. Also, I remembered what we talked about because she was so wasted last night she might not remember me. So i put in keywords she might remember like her birthday on the subject liine and how she wanted me to come with her to a club.
What do you guys think? Thanks a bunch! Peace!

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

My official underground website

http://f4fc0878.linkbucks.com

Shit dude I think it sucks balls. Just being honest. I have a lot of game online (fucking useless if you ask me). I used to run this shit completely naturaly when I was in grade 7 and ppl used ICQ . Anyways, leme break it down for you.

What you're saying:
Hi, it's me Paul... you know, Paul?? Please remember me.. I was the guy dancing and I swear you had fun with? LOL because I'm insecure about it??

- You're totally DLVing yourself in epic fashion.


More DLV.
You are better than me, please teach me. I laugh at my own jokes.
You should say something like this when the "skill" is a stupid skill, like how to get so drunk you pass out in the toilet. Not a real skill like dancing.

You don't even know me but I'm thinking about you.

"so just hollaring at ya"

Don't feel like you need to make an excuse to talk to someone. More DLV
Just more DLV man.
- I make excuses for not dancing well
- at least I can bowl?
- I think you're awesome... omg i hope you like me
Literally only good part. DHVing cause you're busy, and you said it pretty honestly-sounding.
DLV, don't tell her where you are all day. Especially if you're saying you're on 3 internet chat programs at the same time...
Unless there is an inside joke here, I think this is lame.
!!

ITS ME PAUL!! EXCLIMATION POINTS!!! PLZ REMEMBER ME!!







This is my personal opinion. So don't get offended.
Unless you had a wicked awesome time with her, and she def won't forget you, and you built LOTS of attraction, this is complete fail to me. I'm not trying to bring you down, you just need to learn from it.

This is completely AFC. There is no cocky/funny, there is no DHV, there is no confidence in this message. You NEED to be c/f in emails/online. There is no other way. It is much harder than real life because you can't put anything other than words into it (and some smilies). I will say shit in real life I don't even think is funny but people laugh because of how I said it. Online is different. You need the words to be funny. And in this case you should associate it to the night before.

Instead of being the shitty dancer, be the awesome dancer who schooled you in dance moves, and will kick your ass in bowling. It's not mean, it's playful.

Finally, don't laugh at your own stuff. Especially this stuff that isn't even funny.

If you want, I will rewrite this whole thing for you. Otherwise, let me know what she says back if anything. I don't think I'd be suprised if you hear nothing or she shows no interest. Of course like I said, the only save you have here is what happened last night.

Molson is right and he broke it down better then i could. Except [quote]Instead of being the shitty dancer, be the awesome dancer who schooled you in dance moves, and will kick your ass in bowling. It's not mean, it's playful.
[/quote] make sure to add something that lets her know your joking as in a or . But Molson is right, you come off as very needy in that message ( my opinion to, not meant to offend )