Some help please guys.

I did a great pickup on a HB 9. Her friend introduced me to her in a club. Her friend did this because the HB 9 was obviously feeling bad about something and wasn’t much fun at all. The friend thought I was a fun guy and could at least cheer her up. Despite her shield, I managed to number close her and after some good C&F text game later I managed to score a meet up with her. But she told me that she would bring a friend; downplaying my expectations. And putting me in the “needy” position. She rang to make final arrangements.

Here’s how the phone call went:

- first some fluff talk -
HB: I’m sorry I just come from an awful break up from a very long relationship, so all I can offer you is my humour and company.
Bucc: that’s okay, I’m not asking any more of you right now… I just thought the texts were so funny, it would be cool to meet up.
HB: all right,
Bucc: shall we arrange a new date? I have an opening next Friday…
HB: -sounded pissed- an opening? It’s not that I’m forcing you or something? If you don’t want to, just don’t…
Bucc: look, it’s just an expression that’s commonly used when you have a busy agenda. All right? Lets not put every word we say under a magnifying glass, it will be a lot more fun to communicate. How about Friday at 20:00?
HB: okay, well’friday’s fine.

We chatted some in a more positive way. But I think my point is clear. I’m facing a HB 9 next Friday that has an almost impenetrable bitch shield, and will probably even bring an obstacle into the game. She has obviously been hurt by someone and is protecting herself. But I got the feeling she’s interested anyway, but just doesn’t want to get hurt in these times where she’s fragile.

Bottom line is that I’m keen on being a PUA and want tot learn. Now that I’ve come this far with her I’m not going to back down. I want tot turn this into a successful thing and use PUA to show that there can be good love out there for her…bring back the faith so to speak.

The question is, how to approach this? Stay dominant, or let her frame a few things as well. If the friend comes I will play her off course, that’s easy. And should I avoid talking about her past experience and just give her a nice night talking about other stuff? Or should I be sincerely interested and put myself in the position of a “shoulder to cry on?”

All help, tips and criticism will be greatly appreciated, if anyone thinks there is AFC stuff above, please tell me too.

Thanx in advance Buccaneer

I had something kind of like this happen to me before. I met an HB at a club, # closed and set up a day 2 later on the next week. She wanted to meet me at a different bar closer to her house, and have me "hang out" with her and one of her girlfriends. She wasn't putting up the big bitch shield or anything like that, I just had to go with her flow until her and her protective friend thought I was a trustworthy guy. After about 2 hours of drinking and dancing and being a decent guy(builiding comfort), I told her I had to bounce to meet some other people. She was cool with that and said "let me walk you to your car, you can see mine on the way." She wanted to show off her Escalade to me and set up a day 3 with me before I left. I kiss closed her in the parking lot, but never wanted to see her again after that. Anywhoo, so for you, she is interested in seeing you. She might just be one of those HBs who needs their friends approval before you can seduce her. Go out with small expectations, win her friend(s) over, and you should be good to go. It sucks to go on date with a spare tire there, but at least its not her brother. Make it fun. If you can have fun with her friend there, you will no doubt have a blast when she isn't.

Side Notes:
1. Try to stay on upbeat topics. You listening to her talk about her crappy exBF or shitty last breakup is not sexy or helping you in any way.
2. Do not be her shoulder to cry on. In the future yes, but on a first date no. If you become her psychologist/therapist or whatever she will LJBF you.
3. If she has severe emotional issues and trust issues, beware. HBs like this can sometimes act ridiculous and irrational. Not because of anything you did, but because emotionally damaged people sometimes act out on you, even when you have nothing to do with it.
4. If she brings obstacles, win them over however you can. Be alpha, and let them know who you are and where you stand. If done right, they will quickly adjust to whatever behaviour you bring to the flow.

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Thanx so much Sub Zero,

very sorry I couldnt read your post because I had a very busy day at work. could have used your 4 points in my mindset before the date. . I'll tell how it went anyway.

At 19:20 she texts me that the deal is off, because she had to rush to the hospital because she fell on her back in the bathtub (I know I attract these kind of girls).

I went shopping and she calls at 20:00 being very sweet, sayings she's OK. And actually doing her best to get me to her friends house (she lives with her now as a temporary solution for having no home). I actually heard her friend (the obstacle) encourage her to challenge me to come over.

just for sports and to see what I learned tonight. I will elaborate on how your 4 points have been managed:

1. I think it was 50/50 when it came to who decided the topics: 50% me and 50% them. After an hour or 3 things got difficult with keeping conversation and I bailed out.
2. I actually made some AFC signals that I was "understanding"... she didn't respond in a really needy way though. I think I dindnt go wrong there.
3. She's definitly acting out and liking it. If you say a wrong word she's magnifying it, but it only happend twice. Put that againts about 12-15 times of laughter at my jokes, I think I was doing OK. I discoverd she lived togehter with a boyfriend that was 10 years older then her but very inmature. So she is used to pushing men around. When she tried to prove this I kind of ignored her and turned towards my obstacle who was an lighthouse of positive energy. I kept doing this until HB was starting to do her best to be fun as well.
4. I came over and I actually had a lot of fun with the obstacle. She was a very spontanious woman and showed that she enjoyed my presence. The HB however was kind of in her self and I had to make sure at a certain point that I had to drag her into the conversation, because I got the feeling I was neglecting her.

Anyway, I think I did pretty well, but she's still a tough nut to crack... I'm reevealueting my strategies right now and thinkin about the next move....

Ah what the heck, I didn't get a K-close tonight (she was miss Marlboro so the thought didn't go through my mind as much as it does with a HB that aint smoking), but I definitely improved my game with this experience. I'll just keep my focus on learning and presenting myself as the positive fun guy I am, and all will be well.

For now, thank you Sub-Zero and the other guys and have a good night sleep! And no masturbating before the sarge of tomorrow!!!

greetz

Bucc.