Hey folks.

OK, waitress who was a stripper for a while (definitely an HB10), her boyfriend arm-twisted her into quitting the stripper job, she now works at a local restaurant, she resents him because she went from making $1K per night at the strip club to probably $100-200 per night at the restaurant. I know she's got a high libido...we've made all sorts of sexual innuendo's at each other, and I know she's a fan of sex toys. Her and I have been flirting for a while, my wife flirts with her too, I got a territorial reaction out of her the other night by asking for a different waitress's section (unintentional), she responded by inviting me (and my wife) to her birthday party. No number close (because of the jealous boyfriend, I think), no kiss close, etc. However, I know she's interested.

I'm trying to figure how to best escalate this. He'll be at her birthday party I'm sure. I'd ask my wife to occupy him, but my wife and I are having some difficulties around her boy-toy at the moment...I may still ask her to assist though.

I got a couple mood rings the other day (one for my daughter, one for me, one for my wife, and a couple extra)...I'm going to give her a mood ring for a birthday. I've got an angle to use to ask her for her cel# ("It sure would be easier to communicate if you'd just give me your cel# ya know.") I will probably ask my wife to "give her permission" (meaning essentially tell her "my hubby likes you, you obviously like him, you can do anything with him you choose").

This is one of those where I feel like I'll end up fucking her senseless after she splits up with her BF (which I'd say is pretty likely given all the resentment she seems to have toward him).

My goal: just get a number close finally (I've known her for a while). I wouldn't mind getting a kiss close too if I can get her out of view of the BF for just a few minutes.

Thoughts on best way to proceed?

Cheers,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Guys, no advice here?

I'm wondering if I should flirt with her just a bit in front of the BF. I'm sure he would give her some shit about it later, which just creates more resentment for her and perhaps gives her a gentle knudge in my direction? I'll certainly engage her BF and her friends in conversation. I wouldn't want to make the BF so jealous that he ends up being abusive to her or anything. I'm not worried about him trying to pick a fight with me...I'll gently resist any AMOG'ism and make him look like an asshole if needed.

I'd still like to pull her off to a dark corner to attempt a kiss close. I'm going to ask my wife to occupy him while I attempt that tonight, if I get even a remote opportunity.

Come on dudes more experienced than I at this...coach me here!

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

I was going to comment on this earlier but I don't think I'm experienced enough to give you advice. I can't imagine being in an open relationship where the wife actually HELPS you to pull other women! That's pretty amazing.

However, if you create enough 'chemistry' with the HB in question, she'll want to sneak off to be naughty too...and she'll probably help you out with the situation. You know what they say - 2 heads are better than one. I've been in a similar situation before and I've found that where there's a will there's a way. Just give her the will and she'll show you the way!

I would not think about it too much. These things always need to happen naturally. Be a cool, sexy guy.

Yeah the ideal way to have a threesome with two ladies is to let your SO engage the other woman (she has to like you too, of course). Unfortunately, my wife isn't interested in having a threesome with another woman. So...I'm not sure if having my wife involved is a benefit or a detriment yet. She'll give the HB PTF (permission to fuck), but I've been told that I might fair better if I pretend to be a cheater...it's just easier for the target to understand. We'll see. My wife and I have been working through some issues...let's hope she doesn't screw this up for me or screw me over. (Yes, my wife can be a bit unpredictable.)

In additional to the mood ring, I'm also giving the HB a CD with a funked-out rocked-up version of "Happy Birthday" that I recorded a while back, with my avatar pic as the artwork (I look pretty good for a 42 year old, I think...hopefully something she can drool over.) My wife decided to give her a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret that she hasn't used...I said "Fine, as long as you tell her she has to take me with her when she goes shopping there."

We'll see how this goes. I'll be very friendly with her BF...especially since he's the jealous type.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Totally agree with you on the cheating front. It'll be a mindfuck for your hottie if you tell her your wife doesn't mind. I think the permission thing is as far as your wifes involvement should go. It's great that she's giving you that, now proceed with the other girl as if it was 'just happening'.
It's important for the other girl to think that it's happening of it's own accord, this is how girls always want these things to go. You can't 'negotiate' cheating. You should just work on escalating with her, which I think would only work in a situ where neither of your partners are present, or at risk of being present.

OK, interesting night. The HB was thrilled to see both me and my wife. All smiles. She was a little blown away by the gift certificate from my wife, immediately put the mood ring on, and thinks the "Happy Birthday" rendition on the CD was done just for her. (And I'll just let her think that...music is the gift that keeps on giving, right? LOL.) Her and I flirted, her and my wife flirted and fondled each other a bit. I have to hand it to my wife, she did a remarkable job of flirting with this girl (every time my wife gets a little drunk, she says she might actually do this girl with me...we'll see I suppose). I have to say, my wife was a quite good wing-woman last night!

Her BF did not look anything like I would have imagined. Stocky, kinda fat, almost bald...not an attractive guy. I could tell he was an asshole with an attitude, so I was as pleasant to him as I could possibly be. Also ran into another HB or two from the same restaurant...her work friends were there celebrating with her. There's definitely another HB at the same place I'd love to get hold of...she looks very Gypsy-ish...oh baby. OK, where was I? Anyway, after meeting her BF, I then said "So, that's your BF? Does he cook?" She said "Yeah, why?" I said "You think he'd make you and I breakfast?" She got it and laughed, then said "Or maybe all four of us?" I didn't answer that one...I wouldn't think of asking my wife to "take one for the team" with an unattractive jerk like her BF.

Then the drama started. HB10 was getting drunk (after all, it was her birthday). BF decides to drag her home, she resists, argument ensues. I missed the beginning of it, but my wife and I end up taking her gift bag to her in the parking lot, where her and BF are arguing. He's threatening to drive her car off and leave her there at the restaurant/bar, lock her out of the house, etc. Damn...both my wife and I can clearly see that this girl is in an abusive relationship with this asshole. And she could do much, much better...loser with a capital L. She was upset of course...I can't tell if she's a drama queen or she was just reacting emotionally to his abusive SPAM. If she's a drama queen, it's probably a situation I should walk away from, in reality. I think I can judge that after I get to know her a little better.

And somewhere along the way, someone (probably the asshole boyfriend) started the rumor that my wife screwed some guy in the bathroom (which is total bullshit...my wife and I may have our issues, but it was a stretch for my wife to bang it out with her young boy-toy after she knew him 6 months over chat, she's just not a "let's go fuck in the bathroom even though I've known you for 30 minutes" kind of woman). Anyway, my wife got asked to leave the place because of the rumor. She was getting bent out of shape about it, and I said "Let's laugh it off and go somewhere else".

I did get the HB's cel# and email address, so I achieved my goal. I didn't get the opportunity for a kiss close, but that's probably a good thing. I could just see the asshole BF taking her home and giving her a beating or something if he had happened to see it (not to mention trying to pick a fight with me). No point taking that unnecessary risk.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Question: I'd imagine that the HB in question is feeling quite embarrassed about the drama that transpired in front of us/around us. My wife left her a message last night after we left the bar just saying to call us and let us know she got home fine, etc. We haven't heard from her yet. I'm wondering if I should call her (and when), or if I should just wait to see her the next time in the restaurant. What do y'all think?

Given her asshole-ish BF, I'm sure he created some of the drama so he can essentially tell her that she can't associate with us. "See what kind of people they are? You can't hang out with them." (And actually, nothing could be farther from the truth...my wife and I are good-hearted and caring folks in general...I'm sure that scares him to death since even a simple platonic friendship with us might actually be good for her...he wouldn't want that, not conducive to keeping control.) It's a type of control tactic often used by assholes.

So, what do you think? Call or not call? I'm actually concerned for her and not just trying to secure a good lay or threesome.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

OK, update....me, my wife, daughter, and a friend went to the restaurant tonight where HB works. She avoided us. We talked for a few minutes, but that was it. I hung for a bit after our folks left and told her "you need to talk to me". She did. I said "You don't believe the bathroom story about my wife, do you?" She said "I dunno...the bouncer, my BF, etc." I said "It didn't happen. Your BF is using a control technique. Don't you realize that?" She teared up just a little, and said "I don't want to talk to about it...it wasn't a good weekend." Damn...she believes the BS he has fed her. (In cases, like this I ask myself "Who has a motivation to lie? The person I allegedly know and trust, or the person I barely know that has little or nothing to gain?" ) It's obvious to me that he has forbidden her from associating with us EVEN in the friggin' restaurant. I'm sure her birthday gifts from my wife and I were destroyed by him as well.

Here I go being a "nice guy" again...I felt compelled to go to the nearby bookstore and buy her a book on verbally abusive men and how to deal with them. (He's obviously verbally abusive...even her co-workers noticed and commented on it..."they're fighting their way out the door". And note that there's a BIG difference between issuing a playful neg to create attraction versus being outright verbally abusive.) I left it on her car anonymously. I hope that she reads it, goes "holy shit", and detaches herself from this moron EVEN if I never see her again. I hope I've injected some good kharma into the fabric of the universe. I did for her what I would hope that someone would at least do for my daughter. I had to do that...there was no question in my mind.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.