Needing advice on a seduction taken way too slow. What now?



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2007 10:29 am
Posts: 77
so I meet this girl through facebook. Random message to her regarding a group we're in. We end up sending essay-length messages back and forth over a month or two. It moves to instant messaging. Then texting. Then we decide to meet up. We spend an afternoon downtown, lunch (she paid for me), browsing shops. I tease her mercilessly, call her a dork, etc. She responds with light kino, laughing and smiles. We decide to take a ballroom/latin dance class together. She tells me I have a lot going on... good looks, smart, funny, etc. I give her a spin as I hop on the bus. She texts me 5 minutes later about how she loved the spin and that she can't wait for dance class.

I think I'll skip the middle of this story. First there was dance class and a dance where we spent a ton of time together, all romantic 'n' shit. I take her breath away with a kiss goodbye before getting on the bus. Would've done it sooner, but her body language was all wrong any time I tried to get her into position for her, so I always backed off before going far enough in to get rejected.

After that, every time we hang out, we make out. Lots of great talks, she tells me how her mother says I'm a keeper, etc. She shares a bunch of personal stuff with me, her favourite quiet place, how sad she is from her father dying, etc.

Then I make a mistake. I give her emotional intimacy before closing. A week after that, she texts me about a new guy. We go to another dance class, but it's different. On our walk home she's not clinging to my arm like usual. She mentions the guy again. We make out before my bus comes, but I can tell she's just doing it because she doesn't want to say no.

I miss a dance class, so I don't see her the next week. She sends me a message on msn:
Her: So honestly, why haven't we had sex yet?
I'm on my way out the door, so I tell her
Me: lol, timing is everything ;)
Me: And on that note, I'm almost late for coffee.
Me: Later!
Her: mhaha bye

I definitely screwed up with my answer. I think that was the final nail in the coffin. I should have went with "Why should I have sex with you?" or something to that effect where she'd have to qualify herself, rather than assuring her I'm still available.

Anyway, we finally see eachother again, but this time there's no kino. She talks about the new guy and how in love they are. Woo hoo.

Anyway, I'm kinda sick of this girl, but I can't really decide what to do now. Should I just cut off all contact with her, and tell her I don't respect her for jerking me around? I can't really figure out why she'd send that bombshell of an instant message to me. Was it just to toy with me? If so, I'm thinking I should break off all contact with her.

What do you guys think? I don't think I can salvage this, and although she's intelligent and hot, she's got plenty of flaws.

At this point what I want to do is analyze what the fuck was up with that last online conversation, and how I'm supposed to feel and act now that I've been tossed in the friend zone.

Oh, and if you guys could respond BEFORE Monday, that'd be awesome. If you need more details let me know.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:03 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:56 am
Posts: 33
Location: Tucson, Arizona
I think you are doing fine, her telling you about another guy was probably just her attempt to get you to be more aggressive. She obviously would have sex with you from hearing that text. I would just do something outside of your routine meeting with her at dance class. You said she walks home with you? get her to come in and watch "a hilarious video you found online" and re-establish your high value, build some comfort, kino+, kiss close and you know the drill from there. :) good luck ps. hilarious video online:

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episode ... 6d54aa0143

<3- brick


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:42 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2007 10:29 am
Posts: 77
I understand what you're saying about the new guy talk being a jealousy ploy... But she's already tried that once before. When she did it before, it was quite different. Last time she didn't go on and on about this guy. As well, back when she tried to get me jealous before, she never stopped the kino. I don't think she's actually interested anymore.
Your feedback is most appreciated, thanks a lot : )

Anything else?


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