Picked up a HB9 at jury duty - strong connection & attraction, awesome first date, 2nd was cursory drinks, and at the end of the 3rd (Thursday before last), we hooked up, got naked & went down on each other with her claiming it was the hardest she'd ever come. No sex though - she said she gets down on 4th date. Ok. No problem. We're making good progress. She slept over & the next day went on her merry way. We made soft plans to get together Sunday afternoon - I follow Tom Leykis rules & my general policy is to reserve Fridays & Saturdays for sarging, even if I'm just sitting home reading a book.

My game plan is to initiate contact the next day after being intimate, but got some terrible news midday Friday - found out a professional colleague I respected & who helped me along the way killed himself. So was a little distracted.

She followed up Saturday & we texted all day, concluding with confirmation of Sundays plans before her departure to a birthday party with friends.

Sunday, she text initiates again, but then totally flakes on the plans. I ignore her until Tuesday, when she text initiates again. Sunday doesn't come up & it's just standard playful back & forth, but she makes a deliberate point to mention she's hanging out with a dude friend, drinking wine (in other words: "One of my fuck buddies is over & we're gonna bang tonight). Despite that she still sounded engaged.

Wednesday I reluctantly call her up, after small talk, I ask what happened on Sunday. A blow off is very disrespectful and a big no-no for me. Especially with no explanation. Her voice got a little tense & she said she didn't want to have sex, and wasn't interested in seeing me any longer saying last Thursday didn't go as well as it should have. I was a little blindsided, but agreed - my game was a little off, said it was a shame since we were getting off on such a good start (which she agreed with), wished her best of luck with everything, said goodnight and hung up.

Had I been a bit quicker, I could have recovered on the phone by saying that she doesn't need her friends approval to decide who she wants to see. Her offered excuse was trivial, so the only plausible explanation is: she met up with her group at the party, they got to talking about romantic lives, and her friends put the kibosh on her new thing. She's still living in the same small town she grew up in, hanging out with the same old people who never left to make anything out of themselves, whereas I live in the city (NYC to be precise) and she's expressed a desire to get out of there & get something more out of life. Clearly a townie crab mentality situation. She's trying to escape the bucket & these town folks are holding her back.

This accumulation (blow off, fuck buddy text, & her saying she's not longer interested) indicates it's game over, and I don't see any move I could make that wouldn't be an AFC DLV, and the only way this could resume is if she contacts me. But if anybody has an alternate interpretation, general feedback & criticism on this encounter, or suggestions about how to re-engage, post away.

For the record, the primary purpose of this post is for informational purposes. The more impressionable, insecure, and/or less intelligent females (she's a sweet kid, just not the sharpest tool in the shed) are more suggestible & easily influenced. This can work in our favor, or against us as in this specific townie "crabs in the bucket" case & frequent examples of general cock-blocking friends.

Actually, I know how I'm going to handle this. I'm going to Friend Zone & Back Burner her and monitor for signs of life.

Good move.
This was a problem (texting all day on Saturday). Be so busy (even busy meditating or busy listening to Spotify or busy doing nothing at all) that you literally don't have time for it.

When you tried to go logical on her with the callout about Sunday when she is living in an ocean of emotions, that probably sealed things.
That most likely wouldn't have worked because it is an argument based on logic. If she FEELS certain ways, she will react based on those feelings.

Nothing to worry about though. Notice all the women flowing past every day. Speak to some of them. Enjoy it.

Hey Oceanx, thanks for the reply,
You're right about this core principle, and is typically one I strictly maintain. Friday & Saturday are off limits for new babes, and they don't get that slot until proven. I was pretty mixed up with the bad news.
Is radio silence advisable, or would a pre-7pm "Busy today, ttyl" be acceptable?
I agree. She was probably still on the fence & my forcing the issue pushed her off the other side. Noted. Will read up on current flake-out response strategy. It seems like the only play is to pretend it didn't happen & if she brings it up, just blow it off with a "No problem. Didn't hear back, so met up with some buddies & we had a great time doing XYZ".
Hmmmmm. Ok. She was enthusiastically engaged as late as Saturday night, then her catty, cock-blocking crabs-in-the-bucket friends trashed her new thing. Sunday she reached out, but was conflicted, so rather than address the matter, she smoked weed (major pothead), and did nothing.

After receiving no response, she came back around on Tuesday & seemed engaged through the exchange. I interpreted the "drinking wine with my dude friend" as a shit test & believe I passed by cutting contact with "On a job, have fun tonight" (I'm a paramedic).

Then I blew it by confronting her Wednesday night. It put her on the spot, & since she knew she was rude, made her uncomfortable and sent her down peace-out road. Makes sense, because at the end of the call I got the feeling she was wanted me to talk her down, but instead I wished her the best & said takeitez.

Ok. Thanks again for the response. Reasoning it out like this really helps put everything in perspective. I'll friend-zone her - nothing to lose at this point.

I've been out of the game for a while, and this was my first pickup post-breakup. And it was going really well, until ka-blooie. Probably why it got under my skin so much.

One of the best things about living in this town, is there's tons of HB's walking around all over the place. I've already got a couple coming online, one of them's a sure thing.