Not sure where to post this, but here goes:
Case 1:
Yesterday i had a day 2 with a 7 i met on tinder (not sure if that counts as day 2). It was fun but we didnt have much time. I went for a k-close but she backed off. Realising i wasnt going to build enough comfort in such a short time with her, i had her kiss me on the cheek before she went on the bus home. I also told her about a festival near her i'd be attending tomorrow (today), and she agreed to see me there. Logistics sucked as i was with my parents for my dads birthday, and she works at an au paire at some rich family's house.

Still, there was a good chance for a kiss there. Plus, I felt like pranking my parents whom i hadnt seen in like a month or so. I took blah's hand and introduced her to my parents: "this is blah, my new girlfriend, we just met!". The stunned look on both her and my parents' faces was hilarious.

An hour later, I got my kiss. The opportunity came in the form of: "So [conflict], what do you want to do now?" "mm i've seen all i want to see." "me too, so what do you want to do now, are we just gonna walk around aimlessly?" "We could, sure. But i just want to kiss you." [blah smiles, more fluff]... "it's not very romantic here is it? Let's go explore the neighbourhood."

Fluffed, escalated and teased some more until we found a nice bench and sat down. I massaged her shoulders, then asked her if she'd like to kiss me. She said "i don't know.." so I answered "let's find out" and went for the kiss. Hey, not original but it works great. I dropped her off back at her friends and left the festival with my parents because it was my dads birthday and we were going to have dinner together.

The issue:
Near the end of the night, my parents scolded me for playing with a girls emotions like that, and that i shouldn't be playing games with girls who are so obviously into me and looking for more. Which is funny because we only properly met eachother the day before, and she wouldnt even be there had i not been gaming. Still, i'm feeling bad now. Any input on how to practice ethical gaming appreciated.

Case 2:
Same day. A 9 im getting feelings for texts me at 1am saying she wants to see me at a party. We kissed but did not have sex yet so this is dangerous ground. Of course i still considered it worth it if i were to get laid. And i concluded i wasn't, because logistics sucked again (sources on that appreciated btw).

I couldve gone to see her, but not only was i tired, it felt like a DLV if i went on an hour long ride at her beck and call. Poor logistics + potential DLV + being tired, meant i wouldnt get anything out of this, and would more likely hurt my chances in the future.

Checking her logistics and mine again, making sure sex was really going to be out of the equation, after a brief exchange i said: "Let's just call this bad timing. See you soon, promise."
Since we agreed to meet next weekend, i didn't have to close on that part.

The issue:
I've always been bad at saying no, but i also know it's an essential part of not just pickup, but also life in general. Now i just improvised, but what's the best way to turn down a girl who wants to see you?

ffs it was a joke, she's an adult and can handle a joke.
Perfect decision, and you handled it FLAWLESSLY in my judgment. Had you replied with "ok ok i'll be right there" (like 99% of other guys would have done) and then driven the full hour to get there at 1 in the morning no less, it would have been a "dlv" on so many levels. She may not have even been there by that time let alone a million other reasons not to jump the instant some hot girl says jump. Good move. You'll be seeing her next weekend anyway.

Keep using the word 'no' where appropriate and it will take you places.

Thanks Oceanx, i agree that it wasnt a big deal and it wouldnt bug me had it not been my parents saying it. That said, its good to have someone else commenting on it. Also thanks for the positive feedback, knowing when and how to say no is hard. But it feels im finally learning how to say it in a way that both builds rapport, in that it lets someone empathise with you, yet does not come across as apologetic (aka weak), but still lets you close on a positive note.

Ethical game? lol.

Ethical is whatever you consider being ethical. You make your own decisions. Do whatever you are comfortable with, not what people around you think you should be doing.
It's obvious when you're being deliberately malicious. Don't do shit to purposely hurt people and at the same time don't caretake for others. Everything inbetween is fair game.

Don't make a habit out of thinking in PU terms. The decision of not going was right, as was the reasoning behind it. But it really could've boiled down to "Do I wanna do this?".
Listen to yourself is my point. If you feel tired then don't go. It's that easy. Don't worry too much about logistics and DLV's. It's good to have these concepts in the back of your head, but at most they should be a means of enforcing a decision, not the basis of decision making in and of itself.

That's all there is to saying "no". Asking yourself "Do I wanna do this?" and answering honestly.

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I really like the way you phrased that RC. Trust in yourself to make the right calls, is the vibe I’m getting from it, and i can’t agree more with that. As for the PU terms, i like them because they help me make sense of the things i did and add structure. Still, in the moment, where you make split second decisions, thinking in PU terms and dropping complicated routines is not my way. I’ve got some basics to rely on, but I follow my instincts and do whatever comes up naturally.

I dont usually post here but my feelings for HB9 keep growing so it helps keep my head clear. I’ll call her Little Ghost, or LG. It’s the nickname I gave her because she complained about being so pale once.

Field report:
It is now the 4th week since we met, and the 4th time we met. For today, it did not end in an f-close. We do make out, and she lets me grope her in some dark corners of the interactive museum we went to. Yet when I want to take LG into town center, to a bar near where my place is at, I meet resistance.

Apparantly her ex was abusive, and so she’s adamant about not going into the town center because wants to avoid her ex at all costs. Though my town is not that small (around 100k people, 40k in the center), it is small enough to warrant her fear. She told me he never hit her but his mind games left a deep impression. Dangerous guy.

We did not have sex yet, so it would suck if we actually did meet the ex. My connection with LG wouldn’t be as strong as it would be if we did. This would just be a nasty experience, and i see her panicking at the thought. Still, I test her story by grabbing her in a "let's go" kind of way. She stiffens instantly. No go. This thing raised a flag with me for sure. I considered backing out entirely but it’s too late for that now. Despite it all I can’t stop thinking about her so that settles that.

I decide to let her go this time though, and not be AFC about it. On the bus drive to the train station I tell her that I understand, and that if it doesn’t feel well, it doesn’t feel well. I go through my events list on facebook, and spot a techno party that I can get on the guestlist for. I tell her I’ll make some calls, and that she doesn’t have to feel guilty towards me. I’ll have fun either way.

I drop her off at the station. We move to a quiet place. As I walk towards her train, LG says she wants to say goodbye at the back of the station. She takes my hands and we kiss. This is the first time she actually moved in to kiss me, instead of the other way around.

I change buses. After about 15 minutes she apps me that she had a great time, and is sorry for how it ended abruptly. I immediately seize the opportunity to close another date, with little room for speculation as to my intentions.

The exchange went like this:
LG: “I did have a great time. Thanks and sorry for the last part”
C: “aww it’s really bothering you! That’s so cute. And I’m totally going to take advantage of it and have you spoil me next time.”
LG: “So mean! But you are entitled to it ”
C: “Your lips didn’t taste like candy like last time. Next time you have to wear the strawberry flavored chapstick again” (she did that last time)
LG: “Haha, ok I will *kiss smiley*”
C: “And you have to wear a skirt” (Just as I told her to last time)
LG: “Well well, that’s a lot of demands. Okay.”

There was no way she was going to refuse any of these two things. My heart racing, i realise the “yes-ladder” is on at this point, so I decide to keep going until she stops me.

C: “And matching underwear”
LG: “Was wearing that today, but you can’t see them so you’ll never know for sure”
C: “I will check more thoroughly next time.”
LG: “innuendo smiley face”

I can’t stop now. She complained some perverted boys were staring at her as she was eating a banana. I now make it a point to watch and tease her whenever she eats one:

C: “And you have to eat a banana.”
LG: “While keeping eyecontact I take it?”
C: “Yes. And slow, big bites”
LG: “surprised smiley face”
C: “I didn’t make the rules. It was on the “how to never eat a banana” pic you sent me.”
LG: mmhm
C: “But you can start with small bites. No worries.”
LG: “innuendo smiley”
C: “And no underwear counts as matching underwear as well. I’m not that strict of a guy.”
LG: “I’ll bet you want that”
C: “I feel it’s important to leave you some choice in this”
LG: Uhuh, right xD
C: “And whenever you want to say something you have to whisper it into my ear. No worries, I’ll make you a list”
LG: Okay

I send a screenshot of the evernote list I just made.

C: “Did I forget anything? ”
LG: ”hmmm no”
C: “Oh yeah I did. Here’s the final version. ”

To make sure there is to be no misunderstanding, and that I’m serious about this I send her another screenshot. The bottom of the list now reads:

“Grand tour of LG’s paintings and fossil collection” [As you've likely guessed, she paints and collects fossils.]
LG: “Omg xd”
C: “Now, all we need is a date.”

We set a date for Thursday next week, and are going to watch my favorite movie and hers. If this doesn't spell "we are having sex" i don't know what will. Aside from actually saying that, but this way is a lot more fun and lets you feel out to what extent she's open to it.

So as for feedback:
- Was I being clear enough here? I felt I was but its good to have a second opinion on this.
- I gave her Thursday, not another weekend day. For one I’m busy in the weekend, but it also slightly punishes her. People have to work for my weekend time, as it's my most valuable time. Do you guys do this as well?
- It will now take 6 weeks total between meeting and having sex with this girl. We’re both busy people but it feels way too long, but is that actually normal? What is your average period between meeting for the first time and sex? For me 3 weeks is the best time, since I don’t have time to see a girl without planning it a week in advance.
- I'm terrible at same day lays. Only had them a couple of times but it was more luck (and alcohol) than skill.
Any sources on that appreciated.

Yea but keep in mind trusting yourself can be tricky. Sometimes we try convincing ourselves into doing something really stupid and masking it as being something we actually want. Like sending her that drunk text.

Personally I'd have confronted that. She avoids the town center so she won't meet her ex? You can't let fear run your life.
Why do you even assume this guy would start a conversation with either of you? specially if he sees her with a new dude.

#1. Yes. Women aren't stupid and most of them enjoy the subtleties. She knows you want to fuck her. She knows having you over might lead to that. She's open to the possibility but that doesn't mean you should walk in there condom in hand. You'll still need to lead things toward that direction.

#2. The answer to that question is largely context dependent. In this case though it was a good choice.

#3. It's not really a matter of time quantity but time quality, and other factors. Considering her ex issues I'd say it's fine. However you gotta put yourself in a position where sex can happen. It can't happen in the town center at some lounge while drinking coffee. It can happen while she's showing you her fossils.

#4. What do you mean by same day lay? Same day lay is when you have sex the day you met her.

The text convo was great. I enjoyed it. You're doing well.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Good feedback. I agree with most things. Especially that i'm making the ex thing bigger than it needs to be. Still saw no opportunity to assuade her there though. However, i did make it a point that we'll be working on this fear of my town bit by bit. Maybe i was too soft here?

As for #4, what i really admire about people good at same day lays is the speed with which they can escalate.
Me taking 5 dates in order to have sex with someone isn't necessarily bad and also depends on the girl. But this is coming from a guy who was happy to have just numberclosed about 2 months back. There's still a lot i need to learn about meeting someone, making a connection, then escalating that connection so that it naturally flows into us having sex.

Excellent text convo. The right amount of innuendo.

I'm pretty sure she's interested.

Simple up to you to lead the interaction when you see her at hers.