Lol, my last three posts were about how to get the second date...seems like I have a huge room for improvement when it comes to first dates :-

So, here's the story
1) finally got a date with this super-hot (HB9) girl who I was initially in touch with 8 months ago...apparently her cat had died and she was really sad because of that...
2) met her on saturday in a bar, connected well...I did a few stupid things like spilling my drink on her purse but she didn't seem to mind it
3) went to another bar...that's when she told me her ex had committed suicide and she has not dated anyone after that...she is still not comfortable being romantic with anyone...I tried to play it cool and kept the conversation going...but in the end, she told me no romance and then apparently I looked not very happy with it and she was trying to pacify me...
4) went to a nightclub...I did some funny freeze out with her when she was acting a bit against simple kino (she never said no) .. and later she didn't seem to mind it...
5) danced like crazy...we were very close for long long times...danced in kiss position for like minutes but she still didn't let me kiss her on the lips (I didnt go caveman) ... touched her ass also (accidently at first) and she didnt mind it....
6) we took some really close photos - like she trying to lick me, hugging and lot of other things usually people don't do on a first date...she even put her hands inside my shirt and even spilled beer later ( in cold weather...apparently it was revenge for purse but anyway I didn't mind it)
7) finally one time when I tried to kiss her(again not creepily and forcefully)...she said let's leave a few things for the next time...
we got out and parted ways at 6am..again no kiss

One thing to note is that we had like 4-5 beers each and were buzzed...during the conversation, she told me that she really liked that the conversation was very flowing and she wasn't bored...

Then, I messaged her with some photos on sunday night...she replied on monday asking if there were others...I sent a few more...some small chat here and there...I asked her which one was fav. and she said the one in which she was licking me... by monday night I asked her to meet again this weekend...but she said, she can't party every weekend and she partied both nights last weekend so she will take rest...she also said, she gets really depressed after drinking...
after two excuses, I just sent one small reply "ok", and she replied "sry" (this was last night) -- no contact since then...

Now I want opinions on what's my best strategy to get a second date ? Like, should I try again for this weekend later ? should I keep in touch every 2-3 days with cocky-funny attitude ? another solution would probably be to show some value using fb...

Here are a few things I am worried about...

1) I know I shouldnt have asked her out again so quickly, but I am still learning to keep my emotions in check
2) The girl is apparently pretty out-going, so may be she was comfortable with everything we did on day 1 despite not being interested in me
3) She seemed to have had a lot of emotional issues in the past, so if I don't play my cards right (like sound too eager or too detached) may be she can do some over-rationalization during the week and decide to not meet me again...


p.s. Also, she finally changed her fb profile pic (from a pic with her ex (suicide guy)) to her own pic after 2 years the next day (sunday) .. may be it's symbolic or may be I am an overthinker...

_________________
The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

During a good date, always be looking towards the future. When the date was going well, you should have mentioned something like "We should have a netflix party some time, just come over and veg out on old 90's sitcoms". She'll love the idea and you already have an in for the next date. And also by you doing this, she'll be more inclined to let you escalate more because since yall have plans to meet again, she'll be thinking that you aren't going to just fuck her and leave.

As far as getting her out now, just come up with something fun that isn't a club and send her a text that she should tag along. Try not to ask.

"Hey, you should come over tomorrow and watch some netflix with me. I have popcorn "

"My buddy just told me about some little mexican dive bar with amazing fish tacos, you should come with me and try them out"

yeah...actually, probably she didn't like that I asked her out for a club again..when do you think I should ask ?

about planning the second date on the first date...I am not a big fan of it...has usually worked against me

_________________
The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

She's certainly the one driving the bus here. You're simply taking whatever scraps she'll send your way...
Tell me: Which one of you sounds like they're in control here?

I think her interest is lukewarm at best... And she doesn't sound all that fun to date anyway. She's got some baggage that's for sure... suicidal boyfriend? She gets depressed when she drinks... and getting laid sounds like quite an uphill battle.

Best thing you can do is hedge your bets with other girls.

+1 This awesome first date was probably only awesome because this girl is super-hot. If this girl were average looking, would you have put up with all of her baggage, refusal of intimacy, and only allowing sympathy kino?

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

yeah..agreed ... so what's the best step forward... ?

about intimacy...I don't know if it's because of my game or what but I have had similar situations in the past where the girl was not kissing and not every intimate on the first date but second date went a lot lot better...

I am already heavily hedged so that's not a problem ...

about awesome being awesome because she was hot... you are right...thanks for making me realise that...

_________________
The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

I mean I know I probably have one more chance to ask her out..before it becomes needy and very unlikely..

so I need to answer two questions..

1) number of days to wait (she said no for the weekend yesterday)

2) type of date

-Ric

_________________
The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

That line politely reads: "I read all your advice. I agree with it. I'm ignoring it."

We told you your best step forward. Hedge your bets and date other girls... which you say isn't a problem... So.... GO DO IT.

If you're so heavily hedged then why is this baggage-ridden piece of work at the top of your stack? You'll get more intimacy from a timber wolf.