Background: I met this girl 4 months ago on dancing lessons. She's 35, i'm 25. I wasn't attracted just from the start. I kind of noticed her more about a month ago. In that time she became flirty, touchy and allways smiling when talking to me. I could tell she was attracted. She is giving a lot of IOIs, she often tells me stuff like, she likes dancing with me the most, i can spin her the best and stuff like that. Basically i see her once per week on dancing lessons.


So one night everyone from our dancing group went to a dance event, where we all stayed till about 3am. All night she was giving IOIs, she was allways near me, touchy and so on. I knew it was on, i was doing quite some kino to. She was the one who drove me and another guy to the venue and she drove us back home.y First we dropped off the other guy and then she drove me home. When she parked in front of my house i had like a 2 secondo window before it became awkward to make a kiss close, but i failed to do it cuz i overthinked it (i think i blew it big time here, cuz im 100% sure i would have gotten the kiss. As soon as i closed the car door i was like: "FUCKING IDIOT").

So two days later i asked her out for drinks. I wanted to repair the damage done. I texted her if she wants to go for a drink to which she replied "I'd love to." Had a nice conversation altogether, but failed to escalate totally. I closed with a hug, because at the end i think it would be very unnatural to go for the kiss close, because i failed to escalate, so it would just weird.

Now few days ago i asked her out again. She got sick about a week a go, so i sent her a text like hey, feeling any better? want to go for a drink? And she replied with a long text that went something like this: "Toooooooom, i'm feeling better. I'm just walking home from tutoring. I'm all worn of from the tutoring hours. How about if we make plans for another time. I would reaally like to go , are you up for it?" To which i replied casually and unaffected. Sure, no problem, another time. "

This was last thursday. I saw her yesterday, she was super smiley and touchy like always. Do you think it is my job to schedule another date, since she was the one who flaked the last one and didn't give another suggestion when to meet? I'm not expecting her to make a suggestion, because she never texted me ever. She always replied well to my texts, but never replied. Didn't even text that much tbh. I noticed she is very bad at it, so i don't do it, because it's impossible to have a conversation with her via texts, cuz she only sends one. I never see her on the phone either, so i think she isn't much of a texter. I kind of hate to propose a new date, because i don't wanna come across as needy, but i guess it's better try than not? Is it always the guy's job to invite again if she flakes and gives some genuine excuse?

I believe age is not the issue her, at one time we had an age conversation and she pointed out, that she doesn't believe in age difference.

Any tips on what should be my next move? Did i blew it already? I kinda of feel like the clock is ticking on me, and i'm on the verge of falling in the friend zone. I guess i need to grow a pair and act like a man and just invite her out and escalate.


thank for you tips guys.

all the best,
Tom

Dude, you need to escalate like, yesterday.

It doesn't matter who suggests the next meet up. She sounds down for it - so just ask. What's the problem?

"So let's meet up this week, what's your schedule look like?"

That's it - easy.

And escalate this time, for Christ's sake

Update:

I invited her out via text. She was super excited about it. The date went pretty well, i did some escalation, but not enough obviously, because i planned it bad, i didn't pick a good bar, becuase there were just some small tables avalible where you have to sit across one another (so it was really hard to do lots of kino). At the end i wanted to go for the kiss close, but she initatited the hug, so we hugged and in that moment, her phone rang, so i couldn't even attempt to do kiss her. Her mum called her at that, and she told her that she went on a drink with me, so i found out she mentioned me to her mum. (how to interpret that, is it an IOI?)

Walked a bit to my car afterwards (i offered to give her a ride but she said, she would like to get some air and would rather walk). She said she gets free theatre tickets for sathurdays and she would like to invite me somtimes. Afterwards we said goodbye and she hugged me again. When i came home i texted her that i hope she arrived safe and said i had a good time. She responded with a long text saying she had a really great time,
that she just gets so relaxed when she's around me and that she would love to go out again and that she promises she'll talk less next time (she did about 80% of the talking.. she's a very talkative person).

I dont know with all this "i feel so comfortable around you" and the hugs... correct me if i'm wrong, but i think i'm already friendzoned? I know if fcked it up, being such a pussy, but i guess it was lost even before this date. I think she already made up her mind that she wants me as a friend. Should i next her?

Also durring the date we were having a talk about pets and she mentooned she gets attached to dogs and people fast... So i was thinking she might be scared/shy?

Could "i feel so comfortable around you" actually mean a good thing?


Would like to hear several opinions.

regards,
Tom

You know, I'm nearly positive I told you to escalate this time....

You don't sound friendzoned to me - but you sure as hell will be if you don't escalate and kiss her soon.

You absolutely should have been making out in the street after that last date. Sounds like it went well.