Not sure where to post guys, but thanks for your time, hopefully people can learn from this

So I met this girl at work,we are both 25, we worked in different places at work and I didn't speak to her until 3 months of work together. When we finally did meet, I played it cool, she gave me many ioi's asking how long I've been working because a lot of the coworkers "loved me" (most are female) and was surprised that it was my first year working there. I mentioned where I worked before and she told me she lived there, another ioi.

Anyway, she would come up to me at work sometimes and I one day when she was at work (her last day actually) we happened to be walking out together and i got her number. She now works maybe 1 day or 2 a week at the place I do because she works at other stores in the area. We don't cross paths too often, even while working togehter. Anyway, she said text me when your # so i have it.

I text her my number later

Her: haha got it! mad you have a flip phone so I can't text you smiley faces!
Me: don't text me too many words either or my phone might blow up
Her: haha, p.s. so suprised your name is (my name)

So I arranged a date with her the day after xmas, she actually cancelled on me once because she was getting home late from a trip with her friend. So i text her the day of and she asks what time and tells me she doesn't want to be out late because she drank a lot the night before

Me: I thought you were a hardcore drinker
Her: haha I had 5 shots last night and didn't go to bed til 5am!

Anyway I finally got her to come out earlier, at 5pm that day after a lot of work.

Me: So do you make all the guys work this hard to take you out or only the ones you like? lol c u later.
Her: hahahahahahahaha

Anyway first date was chill.

a lot in common, we both like to travel like sports, she says that she's going away on vaca soon, says she'll text me a pic

I didn't actually game her that much. End of date, went in for kiss, I pulled back and said " alright see you at work later." She gave me a bit more of a kiss and said "you sir are a good kisser the asked me "we'll do something soon?" I said yea sure.

She texts me later saying

Her: Thanks for drinks!
Me: you're not a bad kisser yourself
Her: just no bad!? huh...
Me: I'll teach you the ropes, I'm even better in bed
Her: That's exciting I like that you're confident


I don't text her after that then she texts me on new years eve 4 days later wishing me a happy new year. I text back an hour later when I see it "you too".

I text her two days later cracking an ins!ide joke about a coworker

Her: hahahahaha you just made me laugh so hard, I told you so!
Me: she told me that she was going to have to report you to (manager)
Her: no stop it lol
Her: are you serious?
Me: continuing busting her chops
Her: your an asshole!

I stop texting

45 mins later

Her: how are u?

Then later that night she texts me first and its very playful.

Me: Have fun shoveling your driveway tomorrow (huge private driveway)
Her: haha my dad has a plow
Me: he goes to easy on u. if u wanna watch football with the boys, you gotta shovel snow with the boys
her: well we know you wouldn't go easy on me, not that i mind

Her: so am i going to see you again besides at work?
Me: yeah, how about monday?
Her: K

she actually cancelled again, moved it to tuesday but she texted me about it and asked me if tuesday worked.

she initiated texts twice on different days before 2nd date. she even texted me a pic of her in a bikini saying "i would buy it but my butts too big." I didn't fall for it. didn't compliment her.

I was serious in some of the text exchanges, usually started out cocky/funny but then was serious through text. i had a good balance i think

Anyway, second date there was a lot of kino, I went hard with the game, busting her chops, it was very flirtatious. She has a lot of guy friends, a huge social life, and I'm not sure I conveyed enough value in that area to her. I asked her craziest place she had sex (movie theater). She is very confident, very sexy, she knows it, a lil full of herself, things got pretty sexual, she's even telling me that guys don't know how to pull her hair correctly (from roots)

she asked me about my weekend, I actually went to a strip club on saturday which i never have before, and she says she wants to go with me and my friends next time. says she'll wear these new stockings she got for me.

a lil about her: was a bartender at one point, one bf in college (tall, tattoos is all i know, prob alpha male) didn't date in hs cuz she says there was no point. our waitress was actually her ex's friend. didn't really talk about her ex that much besides that she's into tattoos now because of him, she has hidden tattoo from parents on hip. rich, spends all her money on clothes and posts pics on instagram, just a very confident girl, deep sultry voice, classy not slutty, never breaks eye contact, just gives you that look with her eyes that oozes sexiness

ioi's

when we sit down she shows me a groupon travel package for australia where i said i wanted to go

she kept talking up her butt because she asked me who my fav celeb was and i said kim kardashian.
but then she asked me if i'm a boob or butt guy and i said honestly "boob" so she's saying "Well I'm a c cup, theyre pretty big, you just can't tell with this shirt. me: yeah,yeah

her resting her hand on my leg,
when i put arm around her after i busted her chops she leaned her head on me
she asked me if i had dimples on my other cheek
asking me if every girl plays with my hair
lots of eye contact
her busting my chops a bit
she gave me a pen where her dad works


red flags

I asked her if she wanted to see this concert with me and she asked "who were you going to take?" I told her this other girl (who i mentioned I'm seeing but I didn't talk about it) or my freind and she goes "oh, just go with them then."


I wouldn't even ask to see her on weekend cuz she's always visiting college friends.

other red flags:

she can drink more than me lol, not really, but she thinks she can

she smokes sigs, used to do pot, I told her I never messed with that stuff


We walking out, I walk over to her car, we met there, and she pulls me in close cuz the car beside us is backing out. So I look into her eyes and say "I think you just wanted me close to you, I wasn't going to get hit."

(ok, this my make my sound like a douche here but I am very confident and smooth doing stuff like this, making the move, I just want to make sure you guys realize that)

We make out outside of car, things escalate, I'm taking her bra off, rubbing her pussy, she's into it, I open up her back door and throw her in car, I take her pants off.

She pulls my hand away twice while fingering her but i just grab her hand and pin it behind her back or head and keep fingering. She says "I'm not having sex in the car" but I ignored it continued to finger her.

A little more lmr from her, so I say "alright I'll see you later" I open car door and she reaches for my pants, unbuttons them and gives me a bj. After I cum, she has a cigarette in back seat and says "wow, this was only 2nd date. You'll never look at me the same at work again."

We talk for like 5 mins then I tell her I have to go, ( I had to stop somewhere before going home, so I really did).

I text her when I get home.

Me: thanks for the pen, it was a nice touch (as a joke)
Her
Her: Goodnight.

no texts from her after that, i texted her last sunday, no response. havn't really seen her at work. texted her last wednesday, she replied 45 mins later.

EDIT: When i texted her yesterday I texted her to come over this week and organize my room because its a mess (she told me her friend's mothers have her organize things because she's so good at it) but I was basically saying "I know you want to show me your skills in the bedroom..."

So, now I'm starting to think that she views me as someone who thinks she's a slut, looking for just hookups.

I know it's over but why. I'll say that I'm a shy guy, looks aint the problem, but I have pretty smooth game after reading up on pick up, and i'm fully comfortable with girls one on one.

What happened? was it just a fling? Or did I just look like I wanted to hook up.

Definitely gf material for me, I guess I didn't act like I was interested in that, my mistake.

Every time she cancelled a date, i texted

me: alright no worries
her: but i can do next week!

was she all about the chase? Was I too sexual with the girl which was a mistake because I worked with her and there was no reason to jump in that fast? My buddy thinks she may have wanted a relationship and I was too fast. No idea. I know she can get any guy she wants, extreme confidence in that girl.


please let me know what happened! I know she's gone, just need to fix my mistakes.

Thanks so much guys.

Solid report.

I think you did a masterful job on all phases.

But I guess its a bit like playing a team point for point and making it SEEM dominant, only to lose out at the last second when you thought you had victory in your grasp.

The last point being that she wanted something at least a LITTLE bit more.

I mean, you could cut this a few ways because she could be the type to hook up and move on (commitment/insecurity issues) or she could always be looking for something deeper but is always disappointed because she picks guys that don't take her very seriously.

So i guess the question is, were you looking for something more? Did her IOIs indicate that she was, say, unhappy that she gave you head and you head to bounce? No matter how confident the girl, I've seen a few cases where the girl is totally disrespected and "used" in cases where passion was overflowing--yet resulted in the guy leaving early for whatever reason. Seems like you may have poked at her psyche a bit.

The "mistake" may be that you read her wrong while going about your game. At a certain point you have to distinguish (to an extent) where she seems to be taking things. If the purpose (at least for me) is to be honest with the girl and not jack her feelings up, then its important to cater your behavior towards what she may want.

of course, circumstances change, there are timing issues, there are other girls that enter your life etc. etc. But understanding a situation is good in any circumstance because you have the ability to affect what's going on...and in our cases its basically the best possible knowledge to have.

I know a lot of this was subjective and all over the place but hope it helped man,

Sounds like she wanted to fuck and you didn't close. Next time a chick is giving you head, enjoy it for a good 5 minutes but then grab her by the back of her hair and stare into her eyes like you want to tear her apart and say something like "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you" If shes already giving you head and you have your finger in her pussy you should be in like flynn

I hear people on this forum talking about being Alpha but most of the time the Alpha part pertains to creating the illusion that you are dominate. ie: dress this way, text that way, approach her like this.....

Not much is said about what to do when you pre-coitus. That's when you are just about to fuck for all you laymens out there.

Once you have the chick in a sexual situation, its your job to close. Be the Alpha. Take control and fuck her!

Don't say "Should I go get a condom" Say "I'm going to get a condom" Subtle difference in words but can be the difference in fucking or not fucking.

Now don't get me wrong/ I'm not saying by any means force yourself. But keep pushing till she tells you no.

Then lay off and try again if she starts giving more IOI's.

Thanks for the opinions, to the poster above me, she said she wanted to fuck but we shouldn't, she pulled my hands away from fingering her twice, but I just pinned her hands behind her back and kept going.

I chose not to fuck her because a) I was going to save it for next date when my parents wouldn't be home (car sex aint the best, lets be honest)
b) I honestly wasn't that hard during head, drank way to much (maybe this looked bad)
c) I had sex the last 2 days with a girl I'm seeing, she knows this, so I didn't need the sex at that time (surprising because I'm normally just as horny as the next guy)

But there was no issue with me being dominant during sex, sex is my forte, conversation is not lol. I can't really convey that without saying it directly like I am now.

To the poster with the first reply, thanks, and you're right, no matter how confident they are I feel she thought I used her for the bj and then bounced.

She did look at me when I said I'm going after I got a bj, I didn't kiss her or hug her goodbye or anything. She kind of looked at me like I would, if that matters.

Thanks a lot for the opinions, still unsure what happened

I almost feel like texting her today (gotta be a bad idea, right?) and just shooting it straight saying "I've been in a hookup mindset recently, I guess you were on a different page. You're definitely not someone I categorize as just a hookup, your definitely cool to chill with and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable at work. I'm not looking for a text convo, just being real, no bs"

Cuz when she does work at my job I barely see her anyway and wouldn't talk to her like this around coworkers