Hey guys.

I moved to a new town to start working at a new place 5 weeks ago. From the get-go I started gaming a HB8 and HB9, often in front of each other. At the start of week 2 I hung out with the HB9 after work, we were vibing and she told me she had a boyf but they'd 'only' been dating a few months. I was still interested in the HB9 but I started walking the HB8 home every night and working my magic. I've grown to really like her.

The first time I walked her home, she said "you're so good with the ladies" to me in front of the HB9 and later gave me a hug. The next day she went a bit cold saying "there was a moment of madness the other night when I thought I was attracted to you" and she wouldn't give me a hug. I was teasing her and she said i) she only walks home with me because she prefers it to walking alone and ii) she only talks to me because we're colleagues. The next night I busted her balls on this and joked that I wouldn't be walking her home again - she told me she never said that. I then asked her out on a date over FB, she never replied and later told me she'd just woken up when she saw it.

Since then she's given me lots of compliments when we're walking together: "I love your confidence", "I think you and I are the same, we both think really deeply", "I think you're really well-spoken", "you're so suave all the time" (she also said this about me to our colleagues and they told me) and when I told her my old professor thought I was a genius she said "yeah I can see that in you". We have these moments sometimes during work where she'll gaze into my eyes and I'll gaze into hers, and we're just silent for 5 seconds.

Here's the problem: I still don't know if she likes me. We haven't had any kino in 5 weeks and even though she gave me a hug the first time we spent time alone together, she's refused to give me one since. Her excuse is always "I don't date/hug colleagues". I flirt with her and tease her every night while we're walking home and she repeats this. I thought it was token resistance at first but I've noticed she really doesn't hug colleagues. But even still, I'm confused. I've been trying to get her to admit she's attracted to me but she just laughs it off. She won't deny it, but she won't admit it either. The other day she did something clumsy and I used the "This is why you and I could never have nice things" line on her - she laughed and said "I don't know where you get this stuff!". The other night she told me "Don't you have any girls who are just friends?" and "You think too much into things. Even now you're thinking of what to say to me". I asked "Is that a bad thing?" and she said "yeah a bit". I said "You can ask me out on a date if you want to" and she replied, laughing, "No I don't want to". Earlier that night she said we should "go to the Christmas Market". She's incredibly inconsistent.

As mentioned, I'm really confused and I'm falling for her. During work she'll initiate light kino with the guy she sits next to when she's asking him for help and it pisses me off. She did that with me when we sat together. I think she thinks I'm a player and not really committed to her. Would really appreciate some advice on whether you guys think I have a shot and how to proceed. Thanks guys.

Hey man, here go my two cents...

1. the whole "I don't date coworkers" thing is just a bullshit test... I busted a similar test with "before being coworkers, we are man and woman"... give it a try...

2. get her out of the coworker frame and have her join your group of friends for something fun, like a night out partying... make sure that NOBODY from the office is present, otherwise that will raise her defences... I once approached a chick I knew from work but had never spoken to (the company where I work has 1,500 employees) while she was at a club with another chick from work... she wouldn't dance with me or allow any contact... I gave them both a ride home, dropping off strategically the obstacle first, and afterwards we made out in the car like crazy... my target told me she was embarrassed to kiss me in front of her colleague...

3. Let her know you are a gentleman, not some teenage jackass that would go the next day to his buddies at work "You know Sandra from AR... I totally tapped that ass last night... High five!" you get the picture...

That's all for now, I would like to know how things went... Good luck!

Take her out for drinks after work as a co-worker thing. See how things go. You are falling for her, one-itis is settling in. She will probably sense this on you. Best to keep other girls in the picture while you game this one.

Totally agree with all the advice above. You should be certain she likes you after all that, and that she won't move forward because she's afraid of something.

And since you've been gaming so hard, non-stop, the flow hasn't changed to a more intimate level, she probably thinks you're a player.

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Of course women are going to send you inconsistent signals when they're attracted to you while trying to fight it. You'd probably send inconsistent signals, too, if you were attracted to someone but you tried hard to resist it, like if you were attracted to your best friend's girlfriend or something.

She's trying to fight her attraction for you because she can tell you're dangerous in the sense that you can make her lose control with passion. That's a good thing. The bad part is that you don't know how to lead her in a way she can let go of all those fears.

That being said, I don't recommend this path at all. I COULD tell you how to use smooth kino escalation to seal the deal here very quickly and efficiently, but that's not what you really need. What you should be doing is dating an abundance of women who aren't coworkers. Dating coworkers is not always a terrible idea but it is certainly not the best choice. Put yourself in a position of abundance so you can fairly compare your options. Go out and meet more women. Don't go jumping into a relationship with someone just because you're getting desperate.

And tell your coworker what's up. You're clearly very attracted to her. Tell her that. Also tell her that you would even consider being in a relationship with her because you're kinda "falling for her," but you think you should meet more women so that you're not being biased by scarcity. That if you choose her, it will genuinely be because she is the best possible choice.

This is win-win because it will escalate and increase the romantic tension between the two of you, even if it might cause a little token drama. Then you can move that in a direction where you continue a lifestyle of complete abundance or "come back to her" and realize that the best woman for you has been working with you this whole time. In short, option 1 is living a life of abundance and keeping it that way and, option 2 is living a life of abundance and then giving your "HB8" coworker a feeling like she's the star in her own cheesy rom-com.