I need help with setting up first date with this girl from work. I sort of know her. Not that well though - only to flirt with

I’m at a drinks function at work.

HB is with another girl (a 2 set) and I get into the conversation somehow. Anyway I neg her and use some C&F. I feel reasonably comfortable with that stuff. For example, I teased her about a photo on her facebook where she looks crossed-eyed. This is where I saw the difference between AFC and PUA. The look on her face was priceless. Her look was ”OMG I can't believe you said that. But I love it“. Girls are so weird.

Later most of us ended up at a bar. HB was actually trying to hit on another guy. I’m learning to be a PUA so I tried not to be phased by it. ”Who cares?“ I said to myself.

Anyway I get her to come over to the group I’m talking to and neg and C&F her some more. I’m getting loads of Kino. HB is laughing at my crap jokes and hitting me. I’m rather distant not really paying attention to her - it works really well.

I tease her about her hitting on the other guy. Again I thought to myself ”What would an AFC do? He would probably say nothing about the other guy and just ignore that it happened. I want to be a PUA so I must do the opposite.“ So I teased her about it. And HB reciprocated - she told me he was on the phone to his GF. She didn't really seem to care to much about him. When he came back from his phone call I also tried to engage him. Again I thought ”What would an AFC do? Probably not engage him in a conversation, ignore him etc...“ So I did the opposite. I tried to win him over. Didn't Mystery say “If you own the men you own the women.” ?

So all was going good. HB took a photo with one of her friends and said ”Hey Dante you would totally have sex with me and [other girl] right?“ I replied C&F ”Depends how drunk I am“. HB loved it. And in my head I’m thinking ”This is so fucking weird“.

My memory is a bit haphazard as to what happened and in what sequence. So this is a big tip for trainee PUA's like me: Lay off the alcohol when your out practicing your game! It may be good for confidence but it will make you fuck up (as I will explain below).

I’m in a 4 set with her. HB is teasing me about my fringe and other such things. Maybe I was being gamed?!?!? More Kino (“yay for me”).

HB was leaning against me slightly (I’m guessing so that it wouldn't be obvious to others) with her leg against the inside of mine on my crotch. And I’m thinking in my drunken haze ”Hey this is great!“. Then the conversation lulls. Someone suggests leaving - it was winding down. I reply ”Yeah I'm pretty bored.“ HB reacts to this too: She replied in joking way about me turning her and her friend down for sex and then saying they were boring. She was really loving my C&F routine. I had no idea what I was doing but it seemed to be working.

Anyway here is where I fuck up and learn my lesson about alcohol.

People disperse to pick up their bags and say good-byes. HB comes back to me. She has a look of disappointment on her face and says “Hey Dante. Keep in touch.” She leaves.

“FUCK! You stupid drunkard you should have isolated and maybe even k-closed! AHHH! ” - that's what was swirling around my stupid primitive AFC brain.

I didn't even get her number. Ahhhh! I suck!

Help!

1) What was the look of disappointment on her face? Disappointment that I didn't make some sort of move?

I know a PUA should never make excuses, but here is some context. It was a work thing. I didn't really know people that well. If we had got caught kissing or something it would have been the biggest gossip. So yeah I probably wussed out. But I thought that if I went for anything should would have stuck up an ASD.

2) Where to from now?

I’m still in the game. But I don't know what to do. She stuck a group photo from Friday night of her, me and another girl on facebook and also stuck up a quote about me (one of my drunken quotes from that Friday evening). So I take that as an IOI. This was the day after.

Should I ask her out? and how? I really paranoid about an ASD because of the whole work thing. i.e. “I don't wanna go out with you because you're a work colleague and we may be gossiped about” That's what I think may be going through her brain - but maybe I’m being paranoid.

So its been 4 days now since that event-less friday night. I don't want to linger too long because she might lose interest.

So I was planning on sending her a message on Facebook just saying:

“Hey, thought you could tease me about [insert one of her negs] and get away with it? I was thinking of seeing [movie] on [day] you should come along.”

But is that statement alpha enough? Should it be “Meet me [day] for [movie]“ ?

HELP. Oh please help.

Oh man PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!! At this point you need to begin flirting with her. I would say probably 5 or 6 back-and-forth messages on facebook before asking for her phone number. Prefer to use jokes instead of C&F over chat or messaging. The point is to get her smiling when she is reading your stuff. Once you have the phone number, use it to flirt some more. Only after that should you ask her out. And don't take her to a movie. Pretty much anything is better than that.

Thanks for da tip KingMidas! You saved me from screwing up (yet again). I sent her a little flirt message. Short and sweet.

I wasn't intending on seeing a movie with her: because it is too AFC. I was just going to get her to think that and then do something different. Not sure what yet? Any ideas?

UPDATE:

So I sent her a FB message just saying “Hey that quote you put up by me isn’t entirely accurate. I said ... [poking fun]“.

I got a message back a few minutes later from HB just saying: “Yeah but its better that way...”

ahhh! So where to now?

My observations as AFC: I’m not building enough attraction. Maybe my flirt message should have been a more open ended question rather than a statement - I was struggling to come up with material. So I think I need to build attraction but am unsure how? I thought I did enough attraction building on Friday but obviously not.

Help...

If she messaged you back that fast, GOOD SIGN... IOI.

Here is how I would proceed.....


"What did sushi A say to sushi B? WAAASSSAAA BI!?? =)"

When she replies, flirt back, and shortly after, lay another sushi joke on her:

"Have you heard about the new sushi place for lawyers opening downtown soon? It's called Sosumi "

After that, you've got frame to ask her out to sushi, but don't do it right away without a little more flirting unless she brings it up or comments on all the sushi jokes.

what I think you should do: If you guys flipping work together, start watching the office. Study the relationship between Jim Halpert and Pam. He doesnt fuck up. He plays it well, and that's how you should play it. If that doesnt work, just go up to her and be like "yo lemme see them tits," and her reply will most likely be "Oh god, i want you to come all over my face. Let's go into the bathroom. Got any moist toilettes?" Then this is where you do her in the bathroom. If it goes on for over 10 minutes, it's safe to get her number. If not, it was a good sport fuck and diversion during work.

_________________
Cuz I don't break hearts...I just dent them

Hey

You're definately getting IOI's! I would wait a day or two before sending her another message though. I know that a AFC would get all worried and send a message right away wanting approval. DON'T! This will fuck up your game totally! So she said, "It's better that way..." Use a C&F line with her and bust her out. Use a C&F whatever the subtext was like. What she meant when said this is "I like this better!" Which is a IOI and indirectly means she likes you. She's trying to play hard to get of course. You need to stay ahead of her and control her frame. Controlling her frame will make her chase you and want you even more. By not responding to her or not responding to when she writes for a day or two, she'll get attracted. This is called PUSH-PULL tactic. Ever heard of the Cat String Theory? This is a good example of it. It's really effective and hell it works! What I'm saying is appear busy then she'll fill up in her own mind of what you're doing and generally miss you! Make her miss you and you'll get her attracted!

So back to what I was saying:

"It's better this way..."
YOU: You know, you're being a brat for not changing that! LOL!

If she gets pissed then neg her with, "Man! You're so fisty-I love it! I could adopt you and you can be my adorable sister! LOL!"

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

My official underground website

http://f4fc0878.linkbucks.com

UPDATE:

Dammit I think I have lost her!

Stealth I didn't read your post until later after I had already sent a message.

After she sent me her ”It sounds better this way“ message she posted something on one of our mutual friend's FB Wall teasing me saying I was denying saying what I said.

So I waited 2 days and sent her a message back saying ”Oh you're on the defensive now by getting [mutual friend] involved.“ I then followed it with KingMidas' ”Sosumi“ joke. i.e. ”Have you heard about the new sushi place for lawyers opening soon? You know what it's called?“

But I havent got a reply! And I know she has been online because she has changed her profile. So its been 2 days since my message. Have I fucked up?

Not that it necessarily would have helped, but you didn't deliver the punchline, so she didn't laugh, which is the whole point of sending the joke. You need to send the entire joke in one message so she doesn't have to reply, she just gets to laugh. If you come off as a fun guy with a sense of humor, you will get replies. If you beg for attention by texting questions, you won't get attention or replies.

I think you might want to just hang out and not bother her for a couple days. The post above about Push-Pull from Stealth, she knows you are an interesting/funny guy, if she doesn't write you back, your attitude should be, for lack of a better term.. "fuck her". I mean, it's about setting up your inner game and demanding respect. She'll come around, she is going to miss the attention pretty quick I think.

Good luck brah!

EDIT: I have been running those sushi jokes for a couple days now.. nice job, they're pretty funny. chicks dig em..and sushi

_________________
-Bronco

"I'm like a dog chasing a car; if I ever caught it I don't think I'd know what to do with it" - Heath Ledger as The Joker

Damn! I should have known that. I did the sushi joke via text message with another HB and it worked a treat. I posed it as a question and she texted back wanting to know the answer. So it worked.

But I see your point. By asking questions it looks like I want her attention. I want to convey the opposite. i.e. I don't need her attention, she needs to work to get it. So I gave it to her too easily.

Oh well I’m learning so this is great! Thanks KingMidas!
Well I didn't push-pull her as I sent out the message before reading Stealth's post. But yeah I’m not going to send her any more messages and see what happens. Don't worry this isn’t one-itis or anything. My attitude is still ”fuck it“ but I don't like fucking up. And if I do fuck I want to know why so that I can improve and not repeat the same mistakes. Anyway, I will just have to wait and see what happens.

Thanks again guys! Much appreciated!

... Double post. Apologies.

yea, those freaking first dates/2nd days are a bitch.
i'm in the same situation, it's been less than 24 hours since i first called and i already want advice. hahaha. but i'm being patient.
freaking voicemail etiquette is the hardest, freaking girls need to pick up their phones, i bet half the time they're just sitting with all their gall pals watching the thing ring, taking bets on how many times you'll call or whether you'll leave a message.
the game is with you, you must stay strong...

lol. You are so right.

We just have to learn to kick the AFC habit. I think AFC is a deep inherent mindset. It is a bad habit and I’m finding it tough to kick. I’m sure dealing with alcohol addiction is easier. ha ha.

Becoming a PUA is just about forming new (good) habits. And these habits are hard to form because they turn AFC logic on its head. Being an AFC is easy, being a PUA is hard. But nothing good comes from taking the easy road (as we all well know!). It is from hard work that you reap rewards (as we will hopefully soon see).

I think we should just think about Mystery in times like this. That dude spend 10 years learning, being rejected and doing it mostly alone. Thank god we don't have to go through that! So we shouldn't complain having to wait 24 hours for a girl to call back. lol.

Patience is a virtue my friend

Well that's my $0.02.

PS: If it is any consolation I had to wait over a week for a girl to get back into contact with me after I had negged and C&F'ed her. But when she got back in contact she was really forward. I had made new ground with her. So the waiting games does pay off.

Just remember...it's supposed to be fun!

_________________
-Bronco

"I'm like a dog chasing a car; if I ever caught it I don't think I'd know what to do with it" - Heath Ledger as The Joker