| Too many you have come to the right man. I consider myself a professional drinker. I have done it all when it comes to alcohol, faux pas due to and defused by that wonderful substance. I've blacked out and woken up on a stranger coffee table, puked over a girls shoulder mid-way through a lay, left half way through a lay, streaked, freaked and creeped. I may be an alcoholic but I do it with style.
First things first, how to handle your friends. in this situation the best course to take is to own up. Don't admit you are a pussy but say 'I was so wasted the last thing I remember was....'!!! Play on the work hard, play hard thing or how sometimes you just have to let go. If they call you a light weight respond with 'Yeah sometimes but it's tough being your role model', or 'Yeah it happens, life's too short to be sober'. Do you get what I'm trying to say. You're diffusing the rumour bomb and in my opinion, you come out cooler and experienced.
Second thing, the lady. She'll obviously want to talk to you about it. Wait until she does. Don't bring it up until she says 'What happened to you last night?'. Here you can play it two ways.
1. Play dumb: Say what do you mean?? That way she could say 'We all came back to your place you were in bed'. Thus she admits she noticed you lack of presence, she came back to your place and noticed you weren't there etc. All lovely material to bust her balls on that window for flirting opens and the smell of sex wafts into the room. Thus responding with whatever charm offensive you have.
2. Own up: Say 'yeah I was a mess, last thing I remember was *insert story here* I blame you'. She'll laugh or whatever then ask why it's her fault? I like to say 'I'm not going to blame myself, hey,I do remember this cool little place I went to. Let's go back there for a cheeky drink. You in??' Or something to that effect. It's all about who you are/what reputation you want to cultivate. As you've probably guess I pride myself on being a Dean Martin/Oscar Wilde type. Having an Irish accent, it goes with the territory. I am however, pretty knowledgeable about spirits, wine, beer, ale, cider, and food in general so it's who I am anyway.
In essence don't worry about it. You had fun, she had fun. Sure you missed ONE opportunity but you have created a shared experience i.e. rapport. You think you may have fucked up but hey it's a story. It is probably one of the bet things that can happen. Don't take yourself too seriously, everyone has blacked out, hell I've blacked out so much I can't remember most of my 20's......or yesterday. You're not a pussy for passing out you become a three dimensional character. You are involved in a story. It takes more strength to show weakness (sometimes) than to appear invulnerable all the time.
This is what I would do/done and will do (and yes it works).
- Jack
P.S. Don't say you remember being driven home!!! All you remember is waking up at home. Being put to bed IS lame!!
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