I cannot get a 'clear' read on my current situation...here are the details - super long but wanted to provide as much details as possible.

So met this girl (HB9) through a mutual friends whom our group of guys hangs out with - about a month and half ago.

We always go out her group of friends every weekend everyone has a good time. One weekend, she started to show heavy interest and we hit it off and got her in the sack - blacked out, regardless closed the deal. This probably was about a month ago.

After that, she starts texting me heavy and we start to hang out maybe once a week - she works in retail so she has weird hours and I have a desk job (10 hr days) so the only real time I can hangout is at night. The context of her texts are like, had a such a great time, cant wait to hang out again, never had a guy make me laugh like that in a long time, good morning, good nights, etc. My responses would reciprocate her effort and showed interest but reserved and not showing all my cards.

And then maybe two weekends later, closed her again. The same texting happens again, good morning texts, good night texts. I would say we both initiated convo evenly and spaced out, days in between. She would always suggest to hang out but sometimes would cancel last minute due.

So recently, I just text her good morning like usual, but did not get a response - she is usually pretty good at responding in a reasonable time frame. Didn't hear from her for about a week. Found out she lost her phone - she got it back about two sundays ago and she texted me to see what i was up to. i asked what her week looked like and she said we maybe could hang out on the following monday. i said that was fine with me. that day, she said she couldnt make it. i said ok, let me know when a better time would be for her, considering her schedule. she said ok. she also mentioned she has been really busy lately and something is always coming up. i said, thats life, not an issue.

so i didnt text her for a few days and sent her this one on thursday morning - 'serious problem, getting really bored cooking breakfast for one.' she loves breakfast and we always talk about getting some. no response all day - no response at all.

So Early on, one night we were hanging out, she asked me what i wanted with us hanging out, she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and i said i'm having fun now, taking it day by day. kissed and stayed close the rest of the night. she is coming out of a real bad relationship so i can see why a bf is not in the cards yet.

Saw her this past friday night as we all go out together. My plan was not to pay much attention to her but I think she had the same game plan. She was having fun with her friends and I was doing my thing with the occasional brief chat throughout the night. Whenever we did get close, there was physical touching but nothing more that that - ie she touching me on my arm. But for the most part, not even close what her attention to me was prior. She used to be all up around me...

Then at the end of the night, I got her and her group of friends a cab and I was sending them home but she got out when I didn't get in. I had no intentions of getting in and It was packed car...

Anyways while we wait for another cab, I chat her up and ask her about how her last week was and such...tells me all about it...she was pretty busy for the most part. Then, we talk some more in the cab ride and I pretty much try to Set up a day next week to chill. She says she doenst know her work schedule yet...finds out on Sunday. I suggest we go see this movie and she expressed that she really would like that. Also she said why I never come cover to her place, (she invited me once but I was working) and I said because I don't invite myself over and she mentioned that time she did invite me. I mentioned she hasn't invited me since then and I am not a type of person to intrude on personal space. she says that i am not intruding at all and she alludes to how she always responds to my texts.

We get to her place and she hugs me and kisses me on the cheek... Used to be a actual kiss. She was fumbling around to find her keys just prior. Anyways at this point my brain tells me it's a lost cause so I didn't take any action.

I text her when I get back to my place saying "did you get into your place ok?" Because she didn't have her front door key only the back alley door. She replies fairly quickly and says "I did. Thank youuuuuu "the i reply with "sleep tight, glad I finally got to steal some time away with you finally. " she replies with " "

the next morning, i texted good morning with a question regarding tickets to a show later in the summer, i cant go anymore and she couldnt get tix, so i offered her mine. She replied with 'thats really nice. i have to see if i can get off that weekend but if i cant then you should give them to someone else". and then i just start small banter with her about last night and such - got her opinion on my outfit last night (she is into fashion), she said she liked it made a witty comment and she 'laughed'. left it at that for a the rest of the day and then she initiated convo again, asking if i was going to this show tonight, i said no and she why. just explained how my friend probably wouldnt be able to get in so i wansnt going to leave him in the dust. and then i just closed the conversation with 'you'll have a blast, have a good time.' no response from her

So that's where this is at - everything has been going well up to like two weeks ago, when i just felt that she was losing interest or something, and the texting died down 0 i mean she was really really digging me in the start. Never been really this confused before. I know the past me would Of asked her friends what was up but I know better not to and showed alot of self Control even when I was hammered.

So just some banter back and forth over the weeked with this girl, I felt she was having a bad day so I sent her a funny picture of myself. She texted me back yesterday morning thanking me for the good laugh and made her smile. My reply was (after a few hours) "have a great rest of the day. Know you are busy but would love to interrupt you one day this week". She replied with "Yeah I understand but even after work I work on other projects in my life so it's really hard that's why I always go out Fridays bc that's my only guaranteed night." I wafted back and forth on how to respond and ultimately decided not to and leave it be.

She is good company in all honestly but I just can't get a read on this one - I'm off. I mean unusually see her on weekends but am I pretty much dead in the water? My intentions are to keep her as a friends but with benefits for the rat do summer at least. Let me know what everyone thinks and what should my next move be.

But you should have!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Is this salvageable based on everything so far?

Well sure, but I wouldn't go overboard on effort.

You need to re-create a sexual attraction vibe.

You need to lead.

You need to reconcile with her need to fuck you.

The cab ride was clearly a DTF indicator.

Stop being so wishy washy when she flakes on you. Your not a doormat!
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.


You need to pursue other women!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So you spent all night being a bit distant, then she moves to catch a cab with you (from what I read it seems she wanted this), she talks about how you never go to her place (hint hint) then drop her off and do nothing?

She wants it so bad right then, I can practically hear her shouting "fuck me!", just do it!

Don't try too hard to get her back, but organise to see her out again if you can, take her to the dance floor, dirty dance for a bit, kiss her, go back to her place.

And yeah stop being wissy washy! Be a man for goodness sake, take charge like one!

Done, easy...

Next question lol.

so just an update:

after a day or so of not texting her and not replying to her last text about 'being very busy and hard to find time to chill', she texts me that she has been free the past two nights and hurt her back and just been bumming around and icing w/ a picture.

i respond about an hour later - sorry just saw this, was in a movie. are you feeling better? she hasn't responded since - she is pretty good at responding to all my texts within good reason

what is her deal

It's the game Bro, just don't respond until she does.

In the meantime take her out of your head, go MILF hunting, or something equally productive.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So you don't talk for a few days then she messages out of the blue saying she's just bumming around the house? Is it just me or is this girl basically saying "I want you to come over to my place." ?

As above don't message or call her until she does, if she hints at this again just tell her you will be over at x time. Tren ley us know what happens, I'm interested.

Pretty much asking for a "back rub"
Seriously? WTF? I just got a text from one I have not heard from in days. "I just got out of the shower and smell great!" Where do you think I'm going?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So she never responded to my text but I did see her out last night, and most likely will continue to see see her out on wkds, etc.

She was absolutely cold. The only interaction was her saying hi and she touched my face and said she liked my close shave and one other time later in the night where I chatted her up for about a minute to see how she was feeling in regards to her back....she hurt it while she was out at bar...so much for being so 'busy'. Throughout the night I was just doing my thing socializing and having fun.

And then, at then the end of the night she says goodbye and I ask if she wants to share a cab since we live in the same area. She declines and she walks away with a another guy she probably been texting to meet up with.

Talk about the green eyed monster showing up. Never really been played like this. Was she trying to make me jealous in response to my last text or is this just a clear sign?

She thinks you've turned her down man, that or you are too dense to spot clear "please fuck me" signals (not wanting to sound like a dick but sometimes harsh words are needed). Now she's with a guy she likes and is interested in her, may be second choice at this time but in her mind "at least he's into me."

She could be trying to make you jealous who knows, who fkn cares? You may still have a shot, you may not just play it cool, start hitting on other girls, flirt with her when you are out, try build that vibe again. Even freezing her out for a bit would be good if you know you will see her in a few weeks.

Do NOT chase her at this point whatever you do. If you chase at all you will look desperate and stupid. Do NOT fucking chase this girl at all.

I don't get this girl. She first shows all disinterest and says she's "busy" to hang. So yesterday, she initiates convo through text sending me a picture of a car pretty much saying I was thinking about you. Then she asks what I was up to and I told her. Then just few more banter texts and she says "you keep talking but never an invite". I didn't like it so I responded like an hour later with "next time". Haven't heard since. What is up with this chick? Hot cold cycle driving me nuts.

You are either dumb or a fucking pussy.

She texts you "you keep talking but never an invite". So she basically says please invite me to your house and fuck me.

What the fuck is wrong with you. Are you 12 year old ?

Hahaha! I was wondering the same THING!

This poor girl is trying to throw her pussy at his dick like ring-toss.
And he keeps asking what is wrong with HER? WTF?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.