Hi guys. I am wondering and how to handle this specific situation/girl:

1)When i date a girl(no matter who), they ALWAYS babble about thier x-BF. Why do girls tell me that? And most importently, how do I handle this? It actually annoys me. Why would someone need to talk about thier x-BF and they were about to marry etc. and more bullshit. Whats the explanation behind this? It annoys me, because it feels like, they havnt forgotten thier past and im clueless.

2)When a girl says, "let us be friends first, after that, we can see the outcome. Let us party, hang out like friends etc.". Ofcourse, i wont accepct such, but what the fuck does that mean? I want a specific reason, for why girls says such and what it does mean. Is that typcial shittest, IOI, bad signals, lack of attraction or just inexperienced girl?

Sorry my bad eng. I would be very glad, if you could answer both questions.

There's a lot of variables. But for the most part, women will talk about their ex-bfs if they're a) not over them, or b) trying to see how you'll react. I actually like when women say stuff like, "oh my god, that guy is so hot" because it allows me to showcase my 'alpha-ness' by responding accordingly (depends on the situation). For example, I was talking to one of the girls I have a thing with over the phone and she said, "I'm so tired. I was at this restaurant at like 3 in the morning and there was a hot/cute waiter working etc etc" so I ended up telling her something along the lines of "It's interesting to see the people that go to restaurants around that time. The last time I went to the club, we stopped at Perkins around 3 in the morning and there was a bunch of Amish people, and some people from a wedding. Fun stuff." This shows her that I have a life outside of her and it's somewhat of a DHV. Obviously, you can get more into the detail of the story, but make sure it's going somewhere and it has purpose to the conversation.

Show her that the things she says about other guys don't affect you. If you get jealous over every guy she brings up, you're doomed. Start working on your inner game if you haven't already.

So, she brings other guys to our conversation, to test me, and not because she want another dude? Is that it?

But what if she is NOT over her ex? That is the importent thing, how do i handle that?

BTW, thanks alot.

"So, she brings other guys to our conversation, to test me, and not because she want another dude? Is that it?

But what if she is NOT over her ex? That is the importent thing, how do i handle that?

BTW, thanks alot."

Well, like I said, it depends on the context. I'm not sure how you conversate with this girl so I can't assess what's going on between the two of you. But, most of the time (especially if you're confident in your skills), it's safe to say that she's just trying to make you jealous by bringing up other guys. One of the girls I'm seeing does this, but her actions show that she's into me. It's all about how you react, like I said.

The girl I mentioned isn't completely over her ex (she was with him for 4 yrs) but we're still progressing forward. So just because she's not completely over her ex doesn't mean you won't have success with her (however you measure that). One thing I want to point out, though, is to not WORRY about the outcome. If this girl doesn't like you, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. THIS GIRL IS NOT SPECIAL. Go find ten other women and reevaluate what 'special' things you see in this girl.

But, to get back on topic, if she's not over her ex, NO BIG DEAL. Move forward with her like you would a girl that wasn't in a relationship recently and do your thing. If she rejects any kino, it's absolutely OKAY. Don't apologize for escalating with her and just have FUN with her. If she's in an upset mood because she's not over her ex, try and back off a bit and game other girls. But absolutely do not let her drag your happy frame into hers. Always maintain a positive vibe and aura about you, and if she tries to be all depressed around you, CHANGE THE TOPIC TO A POSITIVE ONE.

Thanks alot, i appreciate that.

Other advices are welcome aswell.

A girl always wants to be friends with me first as well. I became used to it. I think its just to get you out of the "yes I want to fuck you vibe." I used to be to obvious about it trying to fuck every girl I seen. And it only worked with the ones who were fucked up. So I became more oblivious about the undertone of that. I just chat and chat as if there was friendship there. If she becomes disinterested then you turned it off too much. Its a sort of calibration of the scenes that I do not have down to a science. But all this stuff is a test. You can look at it like that. Its supposed to disrupt your frame a bit. Use frame control and move on from there. Be yourself.

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So its not a bad signal, when girls say "we could be friends first, take it slowly and see what happends?" Im confused man.

If you're getting LJBF all the time it's because you're not generating enough attraction or you're not escalating if she is attracted.

No the real question is, why does this bother you so much?

If they talk about their ex, so what? She's doing it because she needs to. She needs to get something off her chest. Subconsciously, she may want to see how you react, to see how much of a man you are. You could react a bit jealous, or you could react like it doesn't matter, but the way you do that will speak volumes about what kind of man you are.

You could react jealous in many ways - if you do things that seem insecure, like ask who is this person, how much do you still talk to them, or if you get irritated and stop talking or become irrational, this is a bad reaction and will cause her to become less interested.
If you react jealous in a good way, and say things like "look, I'm really digging you right now - hearing about other guys being into you, ... well it just makes me feel uncomfortable. In my head, you and I are together, one item. No other guys are in the picture." *swoon*, she will feel very cared for.
Another good, but more agressive/passionate way might be "What kind of a moron would treat you like that, seriously... if he was here, man..." as long as you're controlled and confident in whatever you do.

You could react indifferent in many ways, but you could do that badly too. You can be so indifferent she thinks maybe you aren't really that into her. That's my personal problem, I have to say a lot of things to show them I'm into them and only them, nothing is changing, I'm just a really, REALLY easy going guy.


And the "let's just be friends first" is the same thing. She's not confident enough that she can trust you yet, and that's totally expected. If you get irrational about that, that's a bad reaction. If she sees you reacting badly to that, then you lost points. It shows you don't understand how relationships form. They form over time with trust. There IS no exact reason why not yet, there's no reason either way - it means you're both in the trial phase. You have to respond in kind, by showing you understand that you both don't know each other that well yet and are going to hang out to see how it goes.

Also, if girls are constantly hitting you with "lets be friends first, then we'll see what happens" it means you're moving too fast, and this looks really needy. You're all like "let's have sex" and they're all like "how desperate are you, we barely know each other!" You have to be cool, man.

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This is very little information and requires context.
1.) I can see the ALWAYS is in capital. In this case she is not over the ex. Simple as that. If she mentiones it only a couple times that's fine, everybody has a past. But constantly, that's a bad sign. You have a risk to take here that somewhere down the line she might go back. The way you handle it, well... I mean do you want a girl who constantly makes you feel insecure by bringing up her ex? If you answer this question then you'll know how to react. It's normal that it annoys you because you care about the girl.

2.) This is not a shittest. This means she don't want you as a boyfriend. Because she likes you, but you don't turn her on sexually (lack of chemistry, escalation etc.)

Thanks alot, it makes sense.

^^This is bad advice.

1. Hearing about other guys being into your girl should not make you show insecurity nor make you uncomfortable. If you have a strong alpha frame, you are not affected by your surroundings, you control your own destiny.

2. Calling her ex-boyfriend a moron is counter-productive, it will only make her get defensive of him. It makes no difference if you're calm and confident when you say it.

No, thing is, i do not care, if somebody likes her. But if SHE likes him, if she is not comfortable with me. That is the fucking issue. The challenge is, how i possible can fuck her, so she forgets him. Am i supposed to build attraction, more comfort, less of both? It makes me feel insecure, because im thinking, that i have a HUGE wall infront of me, thanks to her feelings.

Its not first time i experience this, so i want to improve myself.

Thanks guys.

Find out whether she dumped her ex or if she got dumped.

1) if she dumped him, remind her why she broke up. She will remember he cheated, was too needy etc

2) if he dumped her and she can't get over it, treat it as if she still has a boyfriend and try Strawman technique. She will realise he was not perfect.

Or mention your ex-girlfriends all the time and she will get the message.

Sorry, you're wrong, it's good advice. To agree with you I'd have to be ignoring all the personal experience to the contrary.

Note my entire post - I'm not that kind of guy, I'm the complete opposite. I even have girls telling me they wished I showed some kind of jealousy.
And I'm not disagreeing with you about setting the frame etc., I even posted at length about doing that yesterday
post770636.html#p770636

But I've seen enough incidences and been told enough stories by female friends about their boyfriends, where their boyfriend stepped in to some situation and got all jealous, and it turned them on, because;

• They felt special
• They felt wanted
• The felt protected
• They even felt needed

There are many things that are good in some situations and bad in others, or good or bad depending on how you do them.

To say "This is the only right thing to do, that other thing is always wrong" is just PUA bullshit. It's ignorant of context, it's ignorant of guy's different personality types, and it's ignorant of women's personality types and what might turn them on.

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