Beyond kiss - 2 girls 1 problem



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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 9:13 am 
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Hi,

I'm a long time lurker, first time poster in desperate need of advice.

I had two dates yesterday, both of them ended with kissing but each one quite differently.

Date 1 - was with a girl who is more experienced then I am (much more actually), she is one of the most intelligent and thoughtful people I know and we had a pretty good time and build a very good rapport (quite rare for me tbh). At the end we kissed and she told me to get in touch with her.
It is worth noting that it was not our first date and that we are classmates at 1 or 2 classes at college.

Date 2 - the sweetest, geeeky, christian girl, with great sense of humor, very uplifting personality, and I believe a lack of experience with guys. She is also my classmate from college.
It could have been our 5th or 6th date, although we were hanging out more like friends then anything else.
I walked her home and when she was about to say goodbye I rather awkwardly told her that I would like us to be more then just friends. She had no idea what to say so I went for a kiss. She kissed me with closed mouth, I babbled something for a few moments, told her to text me after she is done with her exam so we can go for a coffee and talk a bit. Then I kissed her a goodbye and she almost ran away.

Here I am, the morning after, pondering what to do next.

Long term I would like to have a relationship with Date 2.
Short term I would like to have something with Date 1.

Date 1 won't be around for long since she is probably moving away soon. It's not that long since she ended a very serious and long relationship and I think that she is just looking for a friend with benefits right now.
Do you guys think that it would be a right move to invite her to my apartment for a dinner tonight? Isn't it too soon?

And if I'm correct and Date 2 doesn't have experience with guys and is still shellshocked from the bomb I dropped on her yesterday, do you think it would be a good idea to contact her first today (maybe just wish her a good luck on her exam) and overall be more touchyfeely with her?


I honestly appreciate any advice. Just lurking here helped me tremendously in past.


Last edited by badtheory on Thu May 02, 2013 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 9:43 am 
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What kind of question is that? Take them both? Run the standard game? The is no difference, no matter what kind of girl you are talking to. BUT you need to take it slowly with inexperienced girls, as you will easily put them in a uncomfortable situation. Not the same as you need to be AFC, just be cool and try to give her a good experience.

If you asking, because you do not know, which one you should pick, well - nobody can answer you that. Listen to your heart.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:20 am 
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Thanks for advice. I've highlighted my question so it's more clear now.

I want to be FWB with the more experience girl and have relationship with the less experience one.
My problem was that both of them are extremes for me. One is much more experienced and the other one is possibly much less experienced.

You've reassured me that it is ok to be more beta and focus on making her comfortable and letting her know I care about her. Which is something that blew up in my face with every average girl.

The second question was whether I should just go for it with the more experienced girl or give it some time.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:52 am 
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Ive been with few inexperienced girls. I can tell you that, if you are going offensive with your game, you will lose her. She cannot compare you, to another average guy, that is the major problem. Ive lost my game, quite a few times, thanks to my offensive play. So dont do it. They are in a dreamland, where they expect everything is like in the movies.

A girl like her or any inexperienced girl, wants comfort and want to have fun(like good friends). You still want to run your game, but be casual and smooth or you will scare her away.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:24 am 
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Got it. Thanks a lot man. I hope that yesterday wasn't too much for her.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:33 am 
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I guess she wanted to kiss, but the timing was off a bit as the reaction was negative(she wasnt comfortable with the situation). Next time, be more smooth and neutral - as if "it just happened and everything is cool".

You know how to handle this!

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 12:00 pm 
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Few minutes ago I wished her a good luck on her exam and just now she thanked me for it and also for yesterday saying that she had fun. She also made an additional effort because she used her foreign phone to text me.

I'm going to make it a very easy for her to meet me today and we'll see what happens. I don't want to not see her for a few days now because it would make it very awkward to progress (imo).
Also I'll probably have to get used to initializing every contact, at least for a while.


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