Female PUA in training, need help to set up day 2



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PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 9:12 pm 
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Hey PUAs! I need advice!

I'm a 25-year-old female PUA in training. I found out about this community a couple of years ago and was interested and read the Game and watched Mystery's TV show and all that, but didn't really even think I might use this stuff myself. But last month this topic came up again and I started doing research on it as an art project (I'm an artist) and as a performance, me and my artist friend who I'm collaborating with made this video work dealing with this stuff and at the opening we also made a performance where we used Neil Strauss's Annihilation method to approach people. I wasn't expecting it to actually work, but it totally did, for everyone I approached!

Then yesterday I went out to a friend's birthday party and after that to a bar where I got to talking more with this girl who had also been at the party. Used some push-pull and negs and a little bit of some kino stuff, and she was totally into me. She actually made it super clear, she basically said "I like you, do you like me?" and then kissed me. And we made out a bit in the club but also outside afterwards. Then she suggested we go to her place, but I kinda declined. It was partly because I didn't want to take it too fast, but mostly because I was nervous because I've never REALLY been with a woman before, just kissed and fondled each other a bit (I'm bi). But I think I really like her, we had a lot of things in common and common interests and she was really pretty.

We exchanged numbers, but because I kinda freezed her out at the end of the evening, I feel like now the ball's in my court and I don't know what to do. But at the same time I feel like I displayed too much interest when the kissing started. Like before that I played it very well, but at that point when she was saying she really likes me and thinks I'm gorgeous, I melted and got too easy and gave her compliments etc. too, made myself seem too eager maybe. But then again, I DID freeze her out at the end, so I guess there was both push and pull.

What would be a nice funny way to ask her out and not have it be an awkward basic date? I can sometimes get quite socially awkward and blank out on things to say, I don't want that to happen. How do I approach her now?


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PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 9:28 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:17 pm
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Quote:
Hey PUAs! I need advice!

I'm a 25-year-old female PUA in training. I found out about this community a couple of years ago and was interested and read the Game and watched Mystery's TV show and all that, but didn't really even think I might use this stuff myself. But last month this topic came up again and I started doing research on it as an art project (I'm an artist) and as a performance, me and my artist friend who I'm collaborating with made this video work dealing with this stuff and at the opening we also made a performance where we used Neil Strauss's Annihilation method to approach people. I wasn't expecting it to actually work, but it totally did, for everyone I approached!

Then yesterday I went out to a friend's birthday party and after that to a bar where I got to talking more with this girl who had also been at the party. Used some push-pull and negs and a little bit of some kino stuff, and she was totally into me. She actually made it super clear, she basically said "I like you, do you like me?" and then kissed me. And we made out a bit in the club but also outside afterwards. Then she suggested we go to her place, but I kinda declined. It was partly because I didn't want to take it too fast, but mostly because I was nervous because I've never REALLY been with a woman before, just kissed and fondled each other a bit (I'm bi). But I think I really like her, we had a lot of things in common and common interests and she was really pretty.

We exchanged numbers, but because I kinda freezed her out at the end of the evening, I feel like now the ball's in my court and I don't know what to do. But at the same time I feel like I displayed too much interest when the kissing started. Like before that I played it very well, but at that point when she was saying she really likes me and thinks I'm gorgeous, I melted and got too easy and gave her compliments etc. too, made myself seem too eager maybe. But then again, I DID freeze her out at the end, so I guess there was both push and pull.

What would be a nice funny way to ask her out and not have it be an awkward basic date? I can sometimes get quite socially awkward and blank out on things to say, I don't want that to happen. How do I approach her now?
Firstly, lose the "date mentality" make it a hang out.

Physical interest has already been indicated, you don't really have to do anything out of the ordinary. Just ask her to hang out, make it comfortable and keep it fun and friendly. The attraction will come back once you are face to face.

You only need to concentrate on game when you haven't yet achieved a set attraction level, you already have this with her. The most important thing at this moment is to make it comfortable for her. The rest will fall into place.

Message her as you would any of your female friends, the less you are concerned about the outcome the easier it will flow.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.


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PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 11:05 pm 
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First of all, welcome to the community! Its always great to have females in the community!

I helped train a female PUA a couple years ago and she had great results.

Now, on to your question:
I personally don't like the idea of making it just a "hang out". I LOVE the date mentality for a bunch of reasons. A date is only awkward if you make it awkward. I don't take girls on cheesy cliche dates to dinner and a movie, but whatever I do, whether its hitting up a few bars and then an ice cream shop, getting coffee and hanging out in the park, I usually call it a DATE because I want it to be CLEAR that I am into the girl sexually.
However, that doesn't mean that I think you HAVE to call it a date. You can do the chill hangout mentality if you want and that can definitely work as long as you keep the sexuality going and aren't afraid to show that you are genuinely sexually attracted to this girl AND that you actually kind of like her as person too.
But once you get more comfortable with dating around, you should try explicitly telling girls, you're going on a DATE and see how it works for you.

Which brings me to my next point:
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW THAT YOU LIKE HER! You were saying that you might have come off too eager, but I HIGHLY doubt you came off too eager, especially since you froze her out at the end (which was unnecessary.) If SHE expresses interest in you first, then you DEFINITELY have the green light to show interest back. If you don't show interest back, its very likely that she will get insecure and think you don't like her and then lose interest in you.

The way you keep from seeming needy or too eager is, when you compliment her, you can tease her right afterwards. You can say something like "You're adorable. And seem really cool so far. Its awesome that you do xyz because blah blah blah blah.. UGh! I can't even talk to you anymore!"
It honestly, does not even have to make much sense. Its a non sequitur tease just to pop the tension bubble. You can call her a dork, or a nerd or whatever.
But, keep in mind that you don't have to tease her every time you compliment her. If she's totally eating it up, like you're complimenting her and she's like "OMG thank you! You're awesome too!" Then its unnecessary to tease her.

As far as exactly how to ask her on a date or a hangout, you should call her. Don't just text her. You have to also call her. Texting is too easy, so you have to remind her that you can make her comfortable. SO, if you can have a comfortable phone conversation with her (15-30min) she will be that much more likely to be comfortable with going on a date with you. I know she was totally into you at the party, but once the alcohol wears off and shes back at home, its easy for you to just seem like a random person she met, so its usually a good idea to call her, which makes you seem more like a real person in her mind.
I keep it really simple. After we've talked for a little bit, I'll say "You're cute and you're fun to talk to. Hey, whats you're schedule like the next few days?" And then I set up a date. No need to overcomplicate it.

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PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 11:43 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:49 pm
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My best date advice: do not plan anything. Tell her while you date, that you didnt plan anything and find out together, what you wanna do! Good place to go is where you can get cofee and move on from there. Everything will be so neutral, so smooth and so honest, because you dont have any expectations. You will get rid of stress, bad BL and plenty of other factors, so you can focus. Unless she expects something very specific from the first date, but most people expects only, to meet that person, they imagine.

Good luck.


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