I am good friends with my Oneitis and her family. We hang out every Sunday. We were having drinks and I thought I picked up IOI's from her. When the others left the house for a litter and it was just the two of us we had great conversation. She played with her har a lot and she made me randomly play with it when I brought it up. She gave me a random high five.

So at the end of the night she is letting me out the door and as I'm walking out she asks if I have everything I said I think I left my sunglasses but no big deal. She then insists I go get them which I take as an IOI because I was practically out the door already and she stopped me. So I go get them and come back to give another kiss goodbye and I go for the k close. She was hesitant for a second and then loosened up for a good one. Then I said bye and left. I get home and she texts me making small talk.

Her: I think me and you could have killed that whole bottle.
Me: I think so. I'm not even drunk.
Her:Me too.
Her: Lol. That's either a good thing or a really bad thing

Then I didn't respond. My thinking is that I should do a little pull and not text her for at least a day. Do you agree? How should I gauge her interest? What is my play here.

For history on our complicated history check this thread out: oneitis-wants-to-be-friends-with-benefits-vt156072.html

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AFC Level 1

In general, I recommend not breaking off the texting if you've got good rapport and sparks are flying. Lay off if she stops responding for a while, maybe texting her every once in a while about how much she's missing you. You can use texting to build intense interest/attraction on her part; again, cocky/funny works wonders, provided it's FUN. Then, after you've had a nice texting session, tell her nicely that you've got to go and will text her back later when you're free. At THAT point you can lay off for a day till she texts back.

Remember that IOIs should only be considered as a positive response to the ways in which YOU are working to build attraction inside her. Be the man and take the initiative of informing her about how much she should be into you, by showing attractiveness and engaging with her in a fun, sexy dance (metaphorically).

Cheers, ~50

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--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

What sort of non-offensive ways are there of telling her in a cocky way that she shuold be into me? Remember we're speaking over text.

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AFC Level 1

Its all about the wink face and the tongue out face!

"so you missing me? "
"did I see you following me today? its pretty scary you know? "

Just keep it light and not about anything specifically personal.

You're good friends, she see's you in a positive light - pretty much anything you say will be taken in a positive light. Go for it - and fair play for making out with your oneitis dude - thats good going!

You need to get the David DeAngelo program "Cocky Comedy". Or just buy his ebook "Double Your Dating." It will be well worth the investment. Because "Cocky and funny", which is the DeAngelo "number one power tool" REALLY works with girls of all ages and all cultural backgrounds.

In addition to stateofarrest's suggestions, which are good, you can try the following:

* Stop it! I can hear you thinking about me from all the way over here!
* It won't do you any good... you can stop texting me but you can't stop thinking about me...
* It's cute when you don't text me back... 'cos I know you're thinking nice things about me anyway...
* I know it's hard to think about other guys when you've met a cool guy like me, but you should try anyway, just to be nice to them!

And so forth. Send her one message every day or two for a few days, then later drop to sending her one per week. Obviously if she never responds after a couple weeks, drop her, but don't just "go silent" on her because she doesn't respond to your first text. Play it with patience, like a fly-fisherman would.

Apply the famous RULE #6: "Don't take yourself so seriously!" Have fun with this, keep moving forward with other women, and continue working on your game.

Cheers,
~50

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--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

All of what you said is logical but it makes my blood boil. So fuckin difficult.

I've known this girl for years though so some of these things don't apply. We have been closer in the past few months though.

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AFC Level 1

You've already kissed the girl. Kissing is permission. Don't be a slave to the text. If you're already in a conversation, be dismissive when you're getting out.

Don't confuse her being frustrated with you with her not being attracted to you. Girls who don't care don't care. Girls who are frustrated with you get bothered because of how much they care. People who will come to your every beck and call have lower value than you. People like to date others on the same level.

Why do you need to tell her that she should be into you? She has shown you that she is. Quit pining for her. Assume attraction. Be attractive.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

Well, you can start by taking the Frustrated out of the AFC, lol... just think of this like any other hard-to-learn skill that you are determined to acquire. I keep going back to the fly-fishing analogy (I don't flyfish, but I have watched A River Runs Through It, and I like the analogy). It's going to take you years anyway, so get started now and enjoy yourself along the way, and give yourself kudos for every piece of progress. I've been doing this stuff for 10 years and am only half as good as I should be, given all that time. Once you've done it as long as me, you'll be a lot better.

Also, remember that the C&F stuff works really well in a relationship as well, in order to keep the fire going. You don't want to lapse back into "AFC mode" once you've started seeing a girl.

If you've already known her for a long time, then you already KNOW she's into you, so play on that. Bring up things she's done in the past that reveal her interest in you (or things that were innocent, but that you can teasingly interpret as showing interest). Like "Remember that time you said I looked cute in that Metallica t-shirt? You must have already been hooked on me then, but didn't want your family knowing you were dating a metalhead". Or something like that, I'm just making this sh*t up, you know your history with her... put it to work!

Finally, as Lothario says, "assume attraction". Get your head into this mental state, with your oneitis and with every other girl you meet. They're all attracted to you, and if they aren't, they should be. All you're doing is helping them to find this out!

Cheers,
~50

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--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

What is C&F? I don't know these tactics.

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AFC Level 1

C&F = "Cocky and Funny". It's a sexual communication style originally described by David DeAngelo (you can read about it in "Double Your Dating" a cheap ebook), though he claims to have learned it by watching "natural" pickup artists.

Basically, it's a more aggressive pickup style that can be enormously fun for women. Have you ever looked on an online dating website at how MANY women say in their profiles "I want a man who can make me laugh"? What they DON'T mean is a guy who can tell jokes, or a guy that's a clown. Laughter is as much a social cue as anything else... people laugh when they are with someone they percieve to be of higher value, and who is saying something that is amusing. It's not the degree of amusingness, necessarily, but rather it's the degree of value that the "funny" guy is demonstrating that makes the girl enjoy the laughter so much.

It's like a well-mixed martini, or rum and coke... maybe a girl doesn't like rum all by itself, but when it's got some Coke in it, all of a sudden she loves it! This is the cocky/funny secret... girls usually DON'T like guys who are cocky and arrogant, because it comes across as false and insecure, and it's also indicates the kind of guy who isn't fun to be around, because he oppresses other people with his personality. BUT, if you mix it up with funny, all of a sudden the mixture becomes IR-F**KING-RESISTIBLE to women. I kid you not.

So, when I suggested earlier that you text her "It won't do you any good... you can stop texting me but you can't stop thinking about me...", you are showing cockiness (you are assuming she is thinking about you) and humor (you are teasing her, lightly and in a fun way, about her being so into you). It doesn't matter if she isn't that into you YET, if you consistently apply the C&F over time, she WILL be.

Make this an exercise... come up with 10 cocky and funny texts that you can send her, post them here, and we'll give you feedback on which ones sound the best.

Cheers, ~50

_________________
--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

I can probably play this C&F well because I already see myself as above women. I'm slightly misogynistic because I don't see the point in anything women do.

That e-book is $100. Would you be able to link me to the "cheap" one you mentioned?

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AFC Level 1

Howdy... David D. always advertises his stuff at really high prices, then offers lots of discounts. Try this link: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog ... sbid=fpGvT, for me it lists the ebook at $15. Otherwise, sign up for David Ds. email list, and you'll regularly get really cheap offers for his material.

I used to be quite misogynistic, for decades, actually. I'll let you in on a secret that RADICALLY improved my game, however, in a surprising way. I went to live in Spain about 10 years ago, and I was there for 9 years. In that time, I met a lot of women who were really good with women (most of them not Spaniards, actually, but from Latin America). The one thing these guys had in common, oddly enough, was that they REALLY LIKED women, which made it really easy for them to have fun while flirting/dating/seducing.

I learned a tremendous lesson... women are really, really cool, if you take the time to admire their strengths and give them an easier time on their weaknesses (as men, we've got plenty of those, lol). It used to be the case that women would feel weird around me when I was doing C&F, because they senses an aggressive, hostile vibe. I'd still get dates, but I often couldn't progress to sex because the girls didn't feel comfortable.

Now, I love being around women, dig their energy and fun-loving and caring natures, and I work to bring those aspects of them out (while subtly discouraging them from letting out their bitchier sides). The women I am with feel this fundamental attraction to their femininity, and LOVE it, especially when I combine it with dominance (b.c. then they know I'm not a wussy, but a genuine guy who love them for being womanly).

My game is so much radically better now I sometimes feel dizzy... but I'm getting more dates and sex than I know what to do with!

Something to think on... all the best, ~50

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--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

Women are so difficult to respect. I see them as extremely judgemental and superficial. They are very dismissive and close minded when it comes to the opposite sex. Theres so much peacockery that we have to do to impress them. They think they're kings to rule over us how they like and take their pick. I hate being so powerless. I know in my mind that most of them have nothing but sex to offer, and that they have to prove their worth to me for me to consider them for anything more than a drunken lay, but somehow they STILL have the power. I don't get it. '

I can't imagine myself getting to that point where I value their opinion so much that I enjoy being around them like you do. Have you done bootcamps? What sort of learning did you do to get that mindset?

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AFC Level 1

Well, I certainly can't deny that women can be royal pains in the *ss. But here's a bit of fun game for you... David DeAngelo, in his Advanced Dating Techniques program, said something that really hit me at the time, though I didn't really see then how profound it is. He said, "I've gotten to the point where I see girls' tests as being cute. It means they're into me... if they're giving me a hard time about something, it's because they're into me. If they're ignoring me, it's because they're into me. If they're being bitchy, it's because they're into me and aren't getting what they want. Either way, it's cute..."

This is a key bit of "reframing" that has taken SO MUCH of the drama out of my relating to women. They're just cute, whatever they do. They're women, they have their biology and their psychology and they do what they do, and they're cute while doing it, and I have fun with it.

As for really respecting women, I think this is something you will learn to see over time, especially as you interact with older women (I am going out tonight with a 55 year old woman... gorgeous, sexy and highly mature... you probably think I'm crazy, but these women fuckin' rock...). And if you pay attention, you will see that women have a TREMENDOUS amount of inner strength... they may come across as superficial, vain, etc., etc., but that's just surface stuff. Women have evolved over these last millions of years in order to be able to handle ANYTHING that life can throw at them, physically, emotionally, intellectually... they have an impressive natural intelligence, have willpower that's like steel when they're committed to something, and live their lives with a passion and with a love that we men (who are so often caught up in our heads) that makes them able to find fulfillment in places where we'd only see pain and suffering. Women naturally mature spiritually much faster than men, and once you come to respect spiritual maturity you'll start seeing what I mean.

So, all in all, don't worry too much about not respecting the superficial crap that you're talking about women doing... women are much more than this, but sometimes they don't start showing it until they're a bit older and they've had to face life head-on.

As for feeling like women have all the choice and can pick one guy and discard another, you HAVE to check out this post by _Lothario_: why-you-need-to-submit-to-gftow-vt160319.html ... it's great stuff!

Cheers, ~50

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--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--