| Two things happened last night that I wasn’t really ready for, and I had no idea what to do. I was hoping you guys could critique what I did, and then maybe offer what you would have done in my situation.
Situation #1
I get this girl over to my place to watch a movie with me in my bedroom. I decide to try to move us onto my bed, so I start to playfully pretend to drag her onto the bed with me. She laughs and then gets slightly more serious.
Her: Could you pick me up if you wanted to?
I've been out with this girl before, and she's given me shit about how I'm an inch shorter than her and a few pounds lighter. I thought at this point that this shit was past us. My first instinct is to pick her up, but I decide against it. I don't want to be an AFC by complying with her stupid test and qualifying myself to her. And to be honest, I’m a little bit afraid that I won’t be able to do it. So I just ignore her. She asks again,
Her: Seriously, could you pick me up?
Me: Should I try? ... No. [I’m talking to myself out loud.]
This exchange gets her to stfu about it, but she's still not on my bed and all escalation has ground to a halt. After my latest attempt to escalate fails, I freeze her out by going to the bathroom and taking out my contacts. When I return,
Her: Now I'm really curious, could you pick me up?
Me: Silence
Her: Remember that question you asked me about what types of lingerie I had? I'll answer it if you try to pick me up.
I respond by doing another freeze out. This time I go to the kitchen to fix myself a snack. While there, I have some time to think. I decide this situation is very similar to when a girl in a bar asks you to buy her a drink. The correct answer isn’t yes or no but rather to turn it around on her by asking her to convince you or by asking her to buy you a drink instead. I decide that when I go back in there, I’m gonna ask her to pick me up and see what happens.
I had no idea how she would take it, but it turns out that she was pretty enthusiastic about trying to pick me up. So I let her try, and she totally fails. I realize afterward that I was sort of taking a gamble. If she had been successful in picking me up, I probably would’ve seemed a lot scrawnier and weaker in her eyes.
Now it’s my turn. She lays down flat on my bed, and I put my arms under her and lift. I pick her up easily. I don’t even struggle or break a sweat. I guess I underestimated myself.
I had originally thought that her shit test was a lose-lose situation for me, but after I did it, she was noticeably more compliant. At this point, I was able to make-out with her, get her top off, and suck on her titties.
Situation #2
She’s topless, I’m on top, and her legs are wrapped around my waist, but each time I reach down to take off her pants, she stops me. Thinking back on it now, I probably should’ve done another freeze out. What I did instead was ask her why she wouldn’t take off her pants.
She responds that she’s not “attached” to me, so she feels bad if she leads me on with sex. I think in my head, “Sweet! NSA sex!” But then I start to think that this might just be another one of her tests. If I appear too enthusiastic about the NSA part that might turn her off on me. What I decide to say is that I’d be upset if I never heard from her again, but I’m an adult, and I would be able to get over it.
This totally doesn’t work, and now I’m frustrated and sexless.
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CHAT