Hi all, I am new to the forum and very new to using resources to pick up girls. I have been very successful with women so far in my life, but after 2 years with 1 girl i am back in the mix and would love to have you guys tweek my game and help me dive back in.

I am going to post a text thread with a recent girl (very good looking Polish Dance instructor) and it would be great to hear what you think:

(I am currently a waiter, she left her number on the table without me asking)

Me: Hi Miss Poland...! have you recovered from the amazing service yet?

Her: Miss Poland? This number could belong to one of my gay friends... :p No mr best waiter in the world, I am still recovering good job

Me: Oh shit...! i am definitely not going to be one of your gay friends...! yea my service usually has my customers smiling for the rest of the day! i am sure you have the same effect right...?!

Her: at least i know you are not gay which is more than a satisfying answer my gay friends actually liked you you have an affect on men too Yeap you kept me smiling until no did I have the same effect on you? you seemed really happy?

Me:Now i feel like a piece of meat...! you might have had something to do with the smile, but i am not 100% sure! I will have to see you again to be sure...

Her texts me in the middle of the night while i am asleep: We aim to pls, mr...? (she is trying to find out me name)

Me: Mr just crawled out of bed...! i dreamt of kotlet schabowy and vodka and other delightful poilish things! how was your night..?

Her: Everything that is polish is delightful -girls, food and vodka in that order it must have been an amazing experience for you to serve the queen of poland yesterday... i am at work now, had a vodka last night...hungover...Hifle! ps still dont know your name.

Me: if you are the queen of Poland i am the king of germany...! that means i am going to conquer you with my tanks..!!

Her: conquer? you can try, already feel sorry for your failure... I smash german tanks under my heels while having a queen morning coffee...

Me Hah! you better what what you say...! Next thing you know you will be tied up by the king of germany and made to do all sorts of terrible things..!!

Her: are you threatening the queen of Poland? oh! i have some superpowers, you dont want me to use them on you and your kingdom. it might be a traumatic experience and take its toll on you until the end of your reign..

(this starts to bore the shit out of me and is clearly going nowhere so i cut this short)

Me: what time are you finished today..?

Her: not too late, dont know yet why?

Me: i am throwing a massive german nationalist party this evening ...you are welcome to come and represent Poland...!

Her: Oh thank you:) is it part of your conquer plan? I have already made some plans but i will see how it goes.. (insert town name) ?

Her: Mr! i am still at bloody work! so busy! i wont make you smile tonight! my people need their queen

Me thats fine i have left (insert town name) already...you missed some fun times these are my new german friends (picture of nerdy asians i met doing double peace sign)I will speak to you soon though.

Her(12am): are you wasted? I just got home.

(i call her she laughs i lot i decide when the call ends)

Her (some time in the middle of the night): X

next day, me mis texting: it is the kaiser her
me: opps
Me you can finish that message off...!

She then texts me back at 10pm. the message is completly in Polish. As if the planets have aligned, i am in bed with a another 18 year old polish girl when this message comes in. know where she stands in this relationship, i give the message to the Polish girl to translate ( something about not talking in german, lets make things more interesting and speak Polish)

18yro Polish girl writes something back about how cool germany is (clearly this german thing is wearing a little thin as i am not even german, but hey she seems to respond, she lived in Berlin at some point.)

another message in Polish, apparrently reading how she want to see me and give me an erection just with a smile.

Young polish girl falls asleep, i have to write next message: Hah! we will continue this politics another time...Maybe when i am awake enough to discipline you with my sceptre...!

No response (too far?)

I leave it 24 hours to contact her again.

Me: still hard at work?

She calls me. fun convo she confirms a day she is free and tells me she will put the whole day aside for me.

Later that night,
Her: you wont believe!! I am just going to my car and i can see this other car, parked next to mine shaking. No doubts, someone is having sex inside...I can see faces...Shit!! two gays!!!! Ohhh!!!

I ignore this and the next day get a polish friend of mine to write her a message in polish along these lines:
my darling Magda (she still does not know my name), i have managed to get tuesday free to see you...we will enjoy a day free from homosexual acts..!!


Her:
Haha! I absolutely love that text!! :0 dont wait for me to text you in german... I am still struggling with english... these 2 gays yesterday...i wish i didnt see them...Anyway, I am gonna spend nice tuesday , with defo not Homo, the King of germany Glad you have the day free your majesty did you have a good night last night?

Me:
I had a great night...! Dress code for tuesday is either leopard print lingerie or this: (picture of a german beer maid)

Her: Ha! Even though you are a king, you still havent got the money to pay for watching me wear any of these 2 things....thats an interesting fetish

[END]


I have been stumped for a reply to this, i might just leave it. If anyone has some suggestions for a next line pls let me know. Otherwise pls give me some notes on improving this. I personally feel the texts got too long winded and irrelevant. we both work stupid hours so setting up a play date has been tough.