so I've been hanging out with this girls alot lately and I finally asked her out and she accepted. Before I noticed that she wouldn't laugh at my joke and she was real hard to read. She is a real nice girl but she would talk in the tone like a friend. I was worried I was falling in the friend zone I had plenty of confidence talking to her I would smile alot and laugh at stuff she said. On the day she agreed to go with me I asked her if she was still down to go and I didn't get a text back. Then her cousin was showing me text messages from her saying she didn't want to go on a date with me. I spent the next day convincing myself to let her go, move on, start talking to other chicks. When I went to hang out with them the next day my mind put me in a state of oh its her oh well. She greeted me and gave me a hug when she came back from work I just stared at my computer but I said hey. I started treating her like a friend again not caring that I'm in the friendzone and now last night her and her roomates threw a party at there house and she was giving me IOIs left and right. When the night ended I crashed out and she called me asking where I am. I told her on the couch, then she asked me if I wanted a blanket and I said yes. So she came out threw the blanket on me a hug good night. now what I'm wondering are these IOIs fake? I'm confused she rejected me now shes showing more attention to me than everyone else in the party.

stop reacting to what other people say and do,

build compliance with her, don't trust the diarehea that comes out of her mouth, trust in what she does

if she complies with fucking you, but says you're ugly and she doesn't like you, what do you suppose is really going on here?

if she says she doesn't kiss on the first date, but makes out with you 10 minutes later, what do you suppose is really going on here?

etc. etc.

best way to find out if a girl will have sex with you, is try to have sex with her, and ignore things that are not productive to that end

okay so even if she flaked and then shows me IOIs then I should ignore what she said or did in the passed and take advantage of what she's showing me?

YES! sorry but as soon as you got those IoIs you should have escalated for a make out and you could of gotten laid there and then..

here's what I think happened

you were trying to impress her too much and she lost attraction
then you were the man by not responding to her flakes
and she wanted you again.. shit like this happens all the time

do you want to? or are you just basing your decisions in reaction to her? (i.e. if she tests you on this you will crumble and change your mind?)

the thing that threw me off was she was giving me IOIs at this concert when her roommate told her that I liked her and I didn't even know what was going on at first so I flirted back and performed kino. It was very odd to me that she lost interest the very next day. She did have a bit to drink at the concert so I don't know if it was drunk behavior compared to her sober behavior where she showed no interest. I don't want to comply and be highly disappointed in the end like she led me on.

you have to start meeting more girls, this is a pretty common thing, some refer to it as buyer's remorse

here is how it works,

guy goes out,

guy meets girl and is indifferent to girl at first (doesn't care about her, opposite of needy),

girl maybe doesn't think guy is ideal for her at first but starts getting attracted to his chill I don't care about you attitude because it sub-communicates a higher social status (booze helps too),

guy builds compliance and gets girl reciprocating, or she is attracted enough she leads with some mild kino (chest touching, arm touching, hugs, at most kisses on the cheek), as they touch more, they both get more and more horny and compliance and BT just go up

guy notices girl is attracted and responding well and realizes it's going well, OMG IT'S GOING WELL, all of a sudden he is no longer indifferent, he cares

guy gets needy for sex cause he figures ''I got this for sure now that she's responding good'', and it isn't a usual thing for him, so he really focuses on it and needs it cause it doesn't happen often and as a result of this not happening often, doesn't try to sleep with the girl when she is wet cause she is important to him, he wouldn't want to risk rejection or anything

next day when she isn't wet, she most likely has no connection to guy, he didn't sleep with her so she's not too invested in him, and she's not horny any longer or in his pressence for his indifference to affect her mood, so she doesn't really care

guy can't even list off 10 things about this girl personally,l besides the way she looks or what she did and said the previous night, he never really took the time to sit her down and get to know what kind of person she is on a deeper level, or give her a chance to get to know him but he assumes she wants to bang him cause she was wet the night before... only she's not wet today

guy immidiately calls girl right away desperately wants to meet her right away cause hes needy, SEX SEX SEX YAY GONNA GET LAID he thinks,

girl flakes him cause she feels the neediness from his end, and she isn't wet at this time, she figures guy's not calling to bring value, he's calling to take it, so she shuts up her pussy and goes back to her life, not a single fuck was given that day

then guy gets kinda dissapointed cause he actually cares, ''b'awwww she didn't suck my cock :'(, this really mattered to me cause I'm not indifferent but rather somewhat needy'' he does or doesn't think

then guy cuts down on contact and stops giving girl attention, girl clues in, why hasn't needy guy been calling? so she initiates contact with him, then guy either cares about her, or doesn't care about her

then guy either is put into a cycle of perpetual neediness, or he becomes indifferent, it's most likely a waste of time to try to beat the flake at this point, but if the flake is to be beaten, he will need to make sure a connection is there, and be indifferent to the girl, that might even mean qualifying her to the idea of going out, then calling her out when she flakes, and telling her to lose his number after he calls her out, or it could even mean flaking the girl cause you don't care any more, and it probably means contacting her even less, but one things for sure... it better actually be real genuine indifference or it will show incongruence in his behavior, even he even gives one single fuck about getting the girl, or needing her in his life, it will be nearly impossible to break the pattern

and the paradox is, if the cycle is broken, chances are if the guy is truly indifferent he will have already moved on and be more interested in other girls, rather then this girl by that point, who likes a flaky indescive girl anyways? why put in the effort when it is easier to meet new girls

and a fun time was had by all, and the boy and the girl lived happily ever after.... THEEE END