Alright, so I met this girl on a dating site who seemed really into me. Showed me her poetry, easily gave me her life story, complimented my looks and said a few suggestive things. She teased me and gave me a hard time and I gave back as good as I got. Then she said something along the lines of "I'm betting your birthday is on or near Jan 28th."

I told her it wasn't and asked her what I'd won. She said there was nothing at stake, and asked when my birthday was. The teasing had been heavy, so I just continued on, saying that it's on a special day (Valentine's Day), but I can't tell her yet because she hasn't earned it because she lost the bet. I'm new to text game and I've got the charisma and smile to back up face to face game. When I told her that, she got all catty and basically said I was an asshole who was stuck up. I apologized saying that I come from a family of trolls (as in teasing) and that I thought we had a nice back and forth going on. She said I went about it wrong. Anyway, I apologized for the misunderstanding, and not for teasing her, told her when my birthday was, and she replied with "it's good to know." And she's said nothing since. I don't think I did anything wrong by teasing her, but I'm willing to hear otherwise. However, I don't know if I should have apologized. I'm definitely not going to message her first. One, that would make me look needy and two... she's not really worth that much trouble. I'm just treating this like a learning experience. Thoughts? I would appreciate it.

She gave you a shit test and you caved, man. Your family of trolls line could have worked in the right frame, but as soon as you apologized, you gave up your frame. Remember, when the girl reacts negatively to your frame, you need to show her that you're confident enough to hold onto it REGARDLESS of what she thinks.

Eg. You make a remark
HB: Wow, you're funny.
Appropriate PUA Response: You forgot cute. I'm funny AND cute.
vs. AFC Response: I was just kidding, sorry.

Holding the frame is key to a successful, positive interaction. If you can't show her that you're not afraid to be in control, you're gonna end up looking beta. In the future, don't apologize, period. If she doesn't like what you said? Tough shit. Let her deal with it, it's not your problem. You are your first and foremost concern, and if she's LUCKY, she should be third or fourth on that list.

Failing a shit test was exactly what I was afraid happened here. Thanks dude. I'll remember that for next time. It's hard to remember to keep that frame up in the heat of the moment, but that's what practice is for.

Sorry for the double post, but update. She texted me this morning and I waited two hours before responding. about 30 mins before I did, she asked if I wasn't going to speak to her again. When I finally decided to respond, I told her no, I had no reason to not respond to her, I was just busy in a meeting and couldn't get to her till I was done. We had a two hour convo over text and agreed to meet for drinks on Friday. I think i passed the second shit test

That was ok but instead cut the "I had no reason not to respond" part. Your saying too much and in a way it sounds like your apologizing for not responding. Other than that good job.

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SPAM id - xhandlessx

Remember, man. Make no excuses, and don't explain yourself. Both of these things are beta behaviour.

HB: Are you just not gonna respond to me now?
PUA: If you want attention, text your friends. If you want MY attention, try being interesting.

You are not her toy, you're not her boyfriend, YOU'RE NOT HERS. If she wants even a second of your time, she,s gotta earn it. You're not going to fall for her self validating bullshit. This is your frame. You don't owe her a damn thing.

Edit: Breakdown of the response:

"If you want attention" - call her out right away
"text your friends" - neg/dhv combo. You're not buying into attention seeking.
"If you want MY attention," - dhv. Demonstrate that it is conditional, and you're not just going to give it to her.
"try being more interesting." - neg/qualifier. Not only implying that she's being boring, but also forcing her to invest and qualify if she wants the interaction to continue.

Stevie, I see exactly what you mean. I was attempting to get across the point that her reaction the first night had no effect on me by saying that, but you think it's better to not explain myself at all?

Jack, lol I love it, but you don't think it's too harsh? Especially since we got off on the wrong foot so early on? I've suffered from nice guy syndrom most of my life, so negging is probably the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around.

Thanks for the advice guys

sub "interesting" for funny/random/spontaneous, or say 'more' interesting.

As for it being too harsh, that depends on perspective. Too me, it comes across as bored irritation. Ie. She's wasting your time.

Edit: Could also say "if you want MY attention, you'll have to wait your turn." Might sound less harsh, and conveys the right message.

You can say the part about you being busy, but not the first bit because by her asking if you werent gonna speak to her again shes seaking validation and by you saying "I had no reason not to" then you are validating her. Try to take waht jack said and re word it to sound less harsh but it is good. basically you put her on your time and if she cant deal then let her go. You got this bro!

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On a Mission to be one of the DMV's BEST PUA!!

SPAM id - xhandlessx

Okay so we had a great little exchange that day. Thursday goes by without a peep. Today, I decide to check on going out. We'd discussed possibly Friday going out, but said we'd play it by ear. So I open with a version of a text I've seen on here. The coke or lemonade dilemma, but heavily modified so it's not recognizable. I build it up, she doesn't respond, so 8 mins later, I give her the final question. She responds with her own option and then says "I bet you were sweating that whole 8 mins". I tell her no. I'd been bored waiting in my supplier at work so I messages her. My supplier got back to me while I was waiting so it took me a while to respond.

She went on to talk about her drink choices. We chatted for a few and I wanted to move on. "so I've got to get busy again, but I wanted to let you know Friday is too busy for me, but Saturday I'm free after 7.

She says she'll check her schedule and get back to me.

Something says I'm falling flat on my face here. Not sure why. What do you huys think? I'm getting the impression she's been played before and that she's got this little private joke she's delivering every time we talk. She's fiery and quick. I'll give her that. Opinions? I really don't care if I get anywhere with this one. I'm just trying to work stuff out. Like a Tune-up game or something. Still... Success is always preferred. Thanks guys

Based on previous stuff in here, sounds like she's picking up on incongruencies. Forget gaming her. Keep your inner game solid and just be yourself. Works more often than you'd think.

Double post, yeah, whatever.

Honestly, this girl sounds a bit like an HB9 I've been working on. Early on, I realized that gaming her was actually getting in the way, so I just stopped, I'm 100% myself around her, and I'm starting to think she's LTR material.

Upside in my situation is she's a bartender at my favorite pub. Buys me drinks all the time

Anyway, intelligent girls can pick up on it when you're not being yourself 100%, and not revealing your unique personality can make you come across as a player or low value, so... just be you. I've had girls totally open up to me because I wasn't afraid to be a complete dork in front of them. And hey, if she doesn't like you, its her loss.