Sup Players,

Question for you guys.

Should the guy be paying for like 100% of everything in the initial dating period? What about when you are in a relationship? I was talking to a few female friends and they all say that guys should be paying for a majority of the dates.

How do I get out of this type of expectation? It seems that in asian culture, this is the case (I am asian and dating an asian girl), but is there a way to avoid this from happening and have it more to be like 60/40?

The girl I am dating does not have a job (student) and I will be working full time im about 2 months (currently not working).

Thanks for any advice!

No. I don't pay for dates unless I genuinely care for the girl. And even then, it depends entirely on where we're going and what our relationship status is. If we aren't officially dating, i.e. boyfriend girlfriend, then the chance that I will pay for anything is very low. If I actually enjoy the girls' company and personality, and she has demonstrated to me that she is actually a human of substance.... then I'll pay. But even if we were dating I wouldn't pay for ALL the dates.

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Fake it until it becomes reality.

Be blunt. Just say "hey can you throw in $XX.XX, I got the rest." If she says no, then say "fine, take care of the tip then." Or my personal favorite, cook a meal yourself and feed the both of you. It'll save a shitload of money, and its much more personal than a restaurant setting.

I will always pay on the first date. But I expect the girl to at least offer to split.
On subsequent dates, if I see any genuine interest in sharing expenses, I will gladly take the offer. Otherwise, I will keep paying for a while. Then, after so many dates, I will politely raise the issue that I am not a sugar daddy.
Gladly enough, my GF has never had a problem with contributing to expenses since our very first dates.

I am weaker than most people here on this issue, but this is what makes me feel comfortable. If you want to act by the book, other advice will certainly be better than mine. But know that I still got laid even with the above approach.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

I think the most important thing to note in your post is that there are 2 factors going into this, and everyone is only focusing on 1:

1. Women want everything paid for for them. There is no reason for this. Women now have even more job opportunities than men and are actually favored in the workplace. So under normal circumstances, I see a girl who has a job but doesn't put in money as stuck up, feeling entitled for no reason, and selfish. If she doesn't have a job, then she's no better than me if I didn't have a job: lazy. And that's no excuse. It means she's not mature enough to be on a date with me.

2. Asian culture dictates that the man takes ownership of payment. This is what everyone else is missing. I'm not Asian, so I can't really comment on it. But you need to gauge how strong this culture influences your dating life. If it's a strong influence to you and your girl, then nothing that has been said by me or anyone else is going to help you.

If it's not that big of a deal, or if you're feeling rebellious, then what's been said is what I agree with. Just tell her you expect her to pay for part of the date. I assume you're driving in your car, so let her know that you're paying gas and for the meals and entertainment, and that's not fair. If a girl has a genuine reason to not have a job, she's got to have a little money somewhere, and let her know she can cover one or the other.

Better yet, do "free" dates like dawg suggests. I'm sure she has something around the house she can contribute (a head of lettuce or a movie for your dvd player). The more invested she becomes in providing for date night, the better.

But I've said my piece. And if the [cultural] force is strong with this one, then I've been no help. Are there any Asians out there who have been in similar situations, are more familiar with the culture, and can help?

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Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

Thanks for all the insightful replies guys.

@ FreshPrince Good point, we both do not have strong asian cultural influences when it comes to these things. Plus, I don't believe in the whole sugar daddy concept.

Thanks guys. It's nice to get some non-asian advice on this matter.

What is the best way to communicate this? As in when we are at a restaurant, what are some good things to say? Just be straight up?