Short version: LMR despite arousal on her part. She’s a frisky dry humper but has resisted clothes removal and other escalation so far.

Long version: been having LMR with a Swedish 6 (she’s 34, but otherwise attractive. I’m 30). First date had no kino. Second had very little until we kissed on her porch and she quickly got quite aroused: it was obvious that her attraction or horniness had suddenly been gratified (up to this point I'd treated her like a friend); her kissed became make-out-y and passionate, and she threw one leg up around my waist to grind, and the invited me in. It felt like a sure close. Inside, she hopped into my lap to grind, and then pulled me atop her on her couch and went into that frisky 'do-me' wildcat trance. Basically, the girl loves to dry hump and seemed to really be getting off. I was pleasantly surprised; up to that point she’d been nerdy and shy.

She let me take off her top, but when I went for my pants she said ‘let’s stop here for tonight’. I was already out, and positioning for a BJ; she sucked me for a few seconds before reiterating her protests and suddenly claiming she had stuff to do (obvious BS).

I played it calm and avoided acting either pissed or clingy; I was polite, and held her for a few minutes (was this too beta? should I have done a more cold turkey freeze-out?), then dressed and left. On the porch she said ‘I hope to see you again’ which I took as a good sign: I figured she was suddenly worried she might’ve lost me b/c of her LMR, and thus wouldn’t put up LMR next time.

She deleted her OKCupid profile (we met there) shortly after this date, which I took as another good sign. Rr is it a *bad* sign - like she consider me a ‘sure thing’? (I'm not sure when she deleted it exactly, but I think it was after I made third date plans with her.)

Third date went similarly: frisky standing dry hump against a tree while hiking, then couch dry humping (and rubbing her crotch over her clothes) back at her place, then she stopped me when I went for her pants (or even her shirt, this time - negative progress!). She made a similar ‘stuff to do’ excuse and I left (more abruptly this time, but not acting rude or pissed). So, negative kino progress (no clothes removal or fellatio at all).

My questions:

- In some ways this seems like vanilla LMR, but it’s tantalizing how incredibly horny she get from clothes-on rubbing (and how she turns a regular kiss into making out). Her physical arousal is there, but how can I use it to take things further?

- I’m newish to game and haven’t done a real freeze-out. It’s not that I can’t pull myself away from a girl, it’s a nagging worry that such a ‘rebuff’ will trigger anti-slut defense (even if I just act ‘distracted / suddenly doing something else ’ and not rude or hurt or annoyed, as the freeze-out advice seems to be). Any advice?

- I’ve noticed her horny wildcat trance seems to only last 10-20 minutes, then she gets calmer (still receptive to kissing, but for example not grinding wildly, or eagerly sucking my tongue when I French her). I almost wonder if she’s orgasming and then getting that post-orgasm self-awareness both guys and girls get (suddenly not as horny, realizing “what am I doing?”, etc.) Or perhaps her oxytocin rush just isn’t lasting that long (age?). Both times I’ve tried to escalate further have been after the frenzy has started to subside; I suspect I should've escalated sooner, in the heat of her trance. The reason I haven’t are twofold

1. Most girls don’t heat up as quickly, but heat up for longer, so I’m used to escalating after maybe 30-60 mins.

2. As mild push-pull, I’ve been trying to let make-out sessions with other girls ‘calm down’ before launching into a second build-up. Is this good game? Does it convey self-control and non-overeagerness (as I hope) or does it just give the girl a chance to state break and question herself (and-or make me seem too timid/beta)?

- I’m equally happy with a BJ or F-close. I suspect she has no particular BJ hangups, and it’d help circumvent her clothes-removal aversion. I’d appreciate any general advice for escalating to a BJ, as well as any particular ideas for this case. Like somehow conveying the idea that for her to get the stimulation she obviously enjoys, she needs to be repaying the favor (without it seeming like I’m issuing an ultimatum). I can’t decide whether it’d be better to continue giving her what she wants in turns of over-the-clothes vaginal stimulation (and try for a BJ in tandem or simultaneously), or to try to deprive / push-pull her with it some.

- Should I try to schedule a not-going-to-her-place date (meet at a neutral location, something quick like a drink) as a way of saying ‘I’m not just in it for the kino’ or even ‘I’m demoting you to friend’ (play it cool on the next date and keep it to like 1 hour)...or should I try to keep ramping it up? (She’d likely go for a ‘cook dinner at her place’ suggestion.) Overall I don't have a good feel for whether her LMR stems from her thinking I'm too alpha / good for her (she fears being pump-and-dumped) or not alpha enough (she gets off on dry humping and figures I'll put up with not going further for date after date).

-I’m seeing a few other more attractive gils so there’s little risk of oneitis here. But with her wildcat trances, I can tell she and I would have awesome sex. I see good MLTR / FWB potential. Also she lives alone in a gorgeous house that she sublets for next to nothing....if I can convince her to host parties, she'd be an amazing pivot / DHV for me. Plus she has 3 younger sisters and some female friends (all Swedish and mostly blonde) who visit from time to time.

here are a few ideas for you man,

you can try, not trying to remove her clothes, just takes your clothes off and keep up with the foreplay, just work your hands around them etc. (hands up shirt, hands down pants, etc. etc.) if she is allowing it, just let her pass the point of resistance for you

''you're pants are really tight, just unbutton them''

if your girl is really axious and freaking out with random bullshit objections, then two ideas for that, think of something somewhat silly and illogical to solve the objection, or do a freeze out, but I'll get a little bit more in depth about the freeze out as the frame around it is important,

illogical answers to illogical problems:

so say you're making out heavey and she has some sort of illogical issue, let's stop here for tonight, or I have stuff to do, or what ever, this goes along the lines of agreeing with it, until she become persistant with it, don't resist her resistance unless what you are resisting with will get a positive emotional response, so for example the stalk answers you give go along the lines of

-repeating back what she says and continueing
-saying, ''I understand'' and continueing

handling objections by being llogical

-no it's ok, (followed by some random nonsensical statement)

example ''no it's ok, my socks are brand new''
''that's alright, just got my car washed yesturday''

as a last option, you can freeze out, but the frame around the freeze out is important, you don't want to seem butthurt or like you are trying to punish her, you want to just seem sweet and understanding, like she is all that matters and sex can wait

you cut her off cold turkey, suggest something else to do, since she is heated up from the forplay she might try to come onto you again, you can either settle with that level of forplay, or just play into the sweetness and do a non sexual activity and don't continue foreplay unless she passes the resistance for you, with the frame of you are only concerned with her comfort and that is why you won't continue unless she takes off her bra/panties/lets you enter her, etc. etc.

''no it's ok, until you're really comfortable and ready, we can just play some chess, I understand, I just wanted to hang out with you we don't have to rush anything''

GOOD LUCK