Hey guys,

First of all, hello to the community as this is my first ever post: I am not sure how much you guys like dishing out free advice and apologises in advance for a long winded post but I would appreciate any contstructve feedback following my date on Friday night.

Ok so I met this chick at the start of December (she is a Hb 9- and a Hollister model). Up until now I have been texting her back and forth sporadically but I finally got her pinned down to a proper date on Friday night. I had demonstrated some very high value in the lead up having picked her up the first night I met her at a club and seen her once since then- my texts were very funny and she was as much into me as she possibly could have been given the circumstances- the issue is I guess that Friday was the first time we were going to meet cold sober and I had no alcohol or phone or Facebook to create a facade. She also was aware of my ex gf who is one of the hottest chicks in my country (Ireland) and also used to work as a Hollister model. My value going onto the date was therefore very high.

So on Friday tbh I was shitting myself as its been a while since I had a proper date- I was also anxious that I had built up this amazing image of myself through text messaging and social proof that I had to live up to and I wouldnt be drunk to hide behind ( when I have a few drinks in a club I do tend to become very very confident and i am only situatioanlly confident in real life which I am working on).

Anyways on the date I was very uncomfortable at the start- my mouth was dry and I generally was shitting myself for the first half an hour- I think I was even more stifled because she was so bubbly and confident from the start that i felt an even bigger pressure to impress- she had also said that she doesn't fancy unconfident men a night earlier when she was drunk which I was originally able to laugh off because I was tipsy and confident at the time. However on Friday I wasn't myself and it did take me a few drinks to get loosened up.

In the end we did stay in the bar that I took her too from 9-30-1:30 am so it wasn't all bad. We then went and got a fish and chip and I got her a taxi home. She had asked me what I though of her to which I told her she was very nice and a bit of a legend.

Basically the date went ok- but I felt unconfident throughout and stifled as she was so confident and I just couldn't settle properly. We did kiss at the end off the night for a couple of seconds but I haven't heard from her since. My plan was and always is for a girl to text me after the date to say thank you etc and then I respond. This hasn't happened yet and I am very confused. Logic would say that she obviously didn't text me because she didn't like me and I didn't live up to my reputation, but I am also of the opinion that she is waiting for me to text her and tell her I had a good time. Is this the possible or will a girl ALWAYAS text after a date first if she had a good time???

She was genuinely once of the nicest girls I have ever met ( she is a blood doner, a medicine student, a volunteer worker and she tried to make me feel a little bit more comfortable when I told her at the start that I was uncharasstically nervous which I know isn't a particularly good thing to say).

Any thoughts on this once guys? I don't intend on texting her and will wait it out but I am very shocked she hasn't even text me out of manners to say thank you which I would have expected considering the date did end in a kiss and she said she had a good time and more importantly her very good character would have led me to believe she had this much manners). Could it be that she is waiting for the boy to text her saying he had a good time? Or is it more likely that she just said she had a good time and actually didn't and she simply was a tad disappointed that I wasn't as funny or charismatic that she had lead to believe-

All thoughts and comments welcomed!!!????

From what I gathered it seems like a toss up between her not liking you and her trying to game you a little bit.

It sucks that you were really nervous and couldn't let loose. This site has a lot of good material on how to handle that if you search around. One of the things that stuck out to me that you should have handled differently was calling her a "legend". If she is who you say she is she surely knows she is hot and definitely gets told that regularly. You said your ex girlfriend is also another holister model. Therefore you date these girls constantly, are around them constantly, and are not phased by their beauty. That is the mindset embrace as much as possible (with every girl obviously) and especially here.

If I were you I would look back and honestly dissect the interaction - how many IOIs (indicators of interest) were you getting from this girl? Did they tend to phase out by the end of the night? Did she seem to just be being nice and making you comfortable to get through the rest of the date? If you are aware enough and honest with yourself these should be easy to answer. I know she said she had a great time but dont listen to what she says - gather your interpretation from her actions.

If you think she genuinely had a great time with you and you increased your opinion of yourself with her at the end of the night. She is probably gaming you.

If you think you blew it then you might want to text her and try to set something else up or just hit on other girls.

Hope this helps man!

Thanks very much for your reply- and I do agree that it does seem like a toss up. I would have thought that if she didn't like me then she would have texted to thank me and keep it polite. It just seems rude that she wouldn't text at all afterwards considering we were texting quite frequently up until the date.

I honestly don't know about her ioi's- I mean she did say a few times that she was having a good time, but this was her first date since she broken up with her ex bf 3 months ago, (whom I was aware of hence why taking the courtship very slow up until the date).

The bottom line is I didn't perform to my maximum ability on the date- yes my ex gf of 8months ago was a stunner but tbh in terms of actual solid dates after her there have only been 3 others as I am very picky and I didn't end up liking them. I was rusty and in my own head for most of the date but not sure how evident this was to her and how much it came across!! For example, with regards to me telling her she was a 'legend', I do agree I could have played that one better. I actually told her I was texting a mate and that I was telling him the date was a disaster (as a joke) teasing her before i told her she was a legend.BUT because I was n my own head I couldn't come up with as much 'off the cuff' cocky and funny comments as I usually do (and I was very much too conscious of not having the ability to fullfil this persona as I wasn't feeling particularly confident- in my mind there is noting worse than a fella trying to say a cocky comment but saying it stifled and with fear in his eyes. This screams out FONY and I was in my head all night not trying to be that guy instead of just letting go.

She flirted with me at the end as well- saying about my really white teeth and we joked about my eyelashes which are quite long- she made it obvious that this was a compliment. She also played around at the prospect of another date when it came up but I brushed it off and we moved on to another topic.

I plan not to text her untiil she does me- if she doesn't then I am sure will bump into her again at some stage. I really dont want to look desperate and I guess that even if she is unsure and a tad disappointed then my value will have increased and potentially she will end up asking herself what she did wrong in a few days and wondering why I never contacted her after the date- after all the dating game is all about the ego.

In a nutshell- pissed that I wasn't as confident and congruent as I can be or as much as she would have expected of me, but at the same time it didnt go so bad to justify her thinking I was a complete douche, so to answer your questions abiout ioi's, she did show a few throughout but tbh I don't think I blew her away.Again she is just outn of a 5 year relationships 3 months ago so she has no real dating experiences to compare me with.

Thoughts?

So you are the experienced one in dating but you were

Uncomfortable
Think you have to live up to your reputation?
...

You stated she was a legend (Wtf, don't ever do that again :p )

And you now are overthinking everything?

I mean she did say a few times that she was having a good time => Isn't this a huge IOI? , she flirted, talked about another date..

You need to chill out and let your natural game take over and get that rust of you. I think it would be best to contact her again in a text but not about today (let that drop) just text something like, that party thursday? and if she react positive you say , oke - cu there. You are in a critical position with this one and having that drink (don't go totally wasted) might help you imo.

Yeah I know that my mindset on the date sucked!! I was the person who realised that and perhaps that is why I made myself nervous- trying too hard up to a reputation when I should have went in with a different attitude- unfortunately sometimes when you are in a bad mindset, knowing that you ate in a bad frame doesn't help you any better! I aim to work on l that don't worry.

However, i wouldn't say I am over thinking this! I am not thinking about her all day for example, but I do like to have some form of strategy if I like a girl- always have done it that way! Do you really think I should be the first person to re-engage conversation? Would it not create more value on me if I made her come to me?! She is bound to start feeling insecure any of these days as to why I never contacted her after the date..it's not like I need to txt her, as I have a few other chicks on the go also 'they aren't just as good though'.

So I was speaking to my ex gf today and she thinks that the other girl is waiting for me to text her and will think I don't like her if I don't text her- what would she know lol