Avoiding Friends Zone (I'm nearly there) - Advice ?



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:57 am 
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So I've been working this HB9 for a while now . Couple of K-closes but that's as far as I've gotten. Tried a couple of times to arrange meet ups , but she's always busy or flakes. Bumped into her on friday night out of pure chance , started running game , kino , etc (she let's me kino her kinda sexually - but Never kinos back????)

Mid way her friend pisses her off and she plunges into a bad mood - now my cocky /funny comes off as irritating her and I can see it . So I roll off and party with her friends (which are my friends) . She's off the rest of the night and seems uninterested.

Next morning I contact her , she seems cool . But I decide to find out where her head is at , and I'm now at the point where I'm not chasing her anymore and realize I gotta risk losing the girl in order to get her . So I text her :

Gambit: So last night got me thinking , you're pretty cool , but I can't read you -do you wanna just lay off and go back to normal (implying friends zone) , or do you wana hang out and see me again , nothing serious , were to busy for that (added this part not to scare her ) , but get to know eachother better ? Had to ask , I'm a straight up kinda guy.

Hb : sorry I was in a bad mood yesterday , and I can be off when I'm like that , I think you're awesome and like to hang out. Yea we can keep it relaxed. :)

____

What you guys think ? Am I in friends zone ? The last part of her text throws me off (only way I can test this is to try another k close )

Or should I drop this one and move along .
I'm the 'date a girl' kinda guy . This chick is pretty cool. Don't wanna throw in the towel to early

Where to from here ? Text her in a couple days try arrange another meet up?

Thanks


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:39 pm 
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seems like your game is pretty solid, shes just a difficult chick as most hot chicks are.

Heres how I handle tough cases that are causing me stress: Double down

Raise the stakes, just invite her over for drinks, or a meal, or some other rendezvous with strong sexual implications. Thus she can either step up to the plate or you can be rid of her. You don't need more equivocation and gaming.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:52 pm 
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seems like your game is pretty solid, shes just a difficult chick as most hot chicks are.

Heres how I handle tough cases that are causing me stress: Double down

Raise the stakes, just invite her over for drinks, or a meal, or some other rendezvous with strong sexual implications. Thus she can either step up to the plate or you can be rid of her. You don't need more equivocation and gaming.

Don't think I've got enough comfort for a 'sexually implicated ' rendezvous .. I have thought of doing just that ... But maybe after a genuine chilled day 2 , where I can pump attraction move into comfort and THEN my day 3 could be the above option ?

Tough case .. You couldn't be more right ! - but this is the best case to learn from , I don't wanna throw in a towel before either learning how I succeded or learning how I failed .. Ill crack this one .. So I'm playing a pretty safe game for now . Noting my errors and successes . Thanks for the advice - ill keep you posted on how it goes down .


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:54 pm 
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I would agree with everything you wrote, but I don't have the patience for that. I can respect that you do.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:07 pm 
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get-out-of-friend-zone-help-vt121410.html

this thread below yours, everything that is written is all you need to know about the friend zone, she doesn't play ball, you move on and ignore her, if she likes you she will try to get your attention back, at that point, same thing, she either invests or she doesn't if she doesn't stop wasting your time, easier to get a new one then to fix an old one, and they rarely ever get ''fixed'', all that happens if they notice your neediness and get turned off by it, I know you want to hit this up because to you she is hb 9 and chances are you are invested in her more then any other girl, but the best way is a little time apart for her to miss you, and being congruently more efficient the next time you hang out, she is not offering compliance, stop ignoring her iod's


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:07 am 
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First of all, NEVER acknowledge that you've been "thinking." It's not attractive to be perceived as sitting home, ruminating about a girl. If I were you, I wouldn't have sent the text at all. What did you gain from it?

My guess is that you haven't preceded the kino with enough teasing and sexually loaded language. Should have messed with her by saying, "What do you want for breakfast tomorrow morning?" "Are you one of those girls who steals the blankets? If so, I'm not sure I'll let you come home with me."

Give her kino, then take it away and see if she initiates back. Show her that you can read her body language and that you can communicate back to her with your own body.

The next time you're out with her, NO KINO. Be polite and make small talk, but give all your attention to the other girls in the place, no matter if they're hot or not. Flirt with them like crazy. She'll figure out that you put HER in the friend zone, and she'll be pissed. And horny.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:36 am 
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Thanks gents. - I think you're right , I'm investing to much here, because im slowly being blinded by my own stupidity... So I think there are 2 choices for 1 final attempt seeing as I haven't struck out yet :

1: A good Freeze out would do good .. For my own sanity really. (I doubt she will notice it , she's busy and has tons of other guys hitting on her all day )

I won't make contact until she does , and if I bump into her , use the advice above (no kino - small talk - jealousy plotline)

If she doesn't contact me ... Well there's my answer ..
If she does ... Ill just say "I've been busy , will give you a call sometime to hang out"
And do exactly that .. If she flakes . Game over.

----------
2: I use her words against her "So seeing as I'm awesome and you wanna hang out , . Ill pick you up at ** and we head over to **

If she flakes ... Game over

If not .. I go caveman .. Sexually escelate like mad .. And see how that goes


Suggestions ?


Last edited by xGambitx on Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:24 pm 
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No. 1 is by far the best option for you. Maybe the only option.

If you bump into her again, you must NOT have the mindset that you're trying to get her attention. Girls can see that a mile away. Your mindset should be to practice your skills with marginally attractive women. Just flirt with them, and see what kind of IOIs they flash you and in your mind keep track of what's working and what isn't. Kino escalate, neg, break rapport, etc. Like a mad scientist throwing chemicals together to see what happens... You'll have so much fun you'll forget about the original girl.

If you can achieve this, then I guarantee she will notice. If she's hot, she'll be bored by the guys who are hitting on her and intrigued by the guy who's hitting on other women, especially since you've already put her in the friend zone. Now, be careful. She'll do a bunch of very subtle things to try to see if she can get your attention back, walking through your sightlines, brushing up against you as she passes, asking you lame questions. Stay strong! If you're talking to a 7 and the HB comes over, introduce the HB as your "friend" then keep hitting on the 7. The HB doesn't perceive the other girl as a 7; she sees her as having *something* that the HB lacks, and this drives her crazy with jealousy.

If the HB is using these little tricks to get your attention, AND if you are able to resist them, THEN you can swoop back at her at the end of the night and say, "Fuck it, I can't be friends with you. There's too much attraction, and I know you feel it, too. (Massive eye contact, take her hand in yours, etc.) Let's go somewhere to talk." Isolate, then escalate and you're out of the rough, onto the green.

In terms of setting up a meet with her, I would suggest it be some place where you're gonna be with friends and she can bring friends. (Heh, maybe ask her if she has any cute friends.) Not much chance of getting her on a one-on-one outing. I know it seems like you have nothing to lose by going caveman, but you do: namely, your pride. Also, that just never works.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:39 pm 
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No. 1 is by far the best option for you. Maybe the only option.

If you bump into her again, you must NOT have the mindset that you're trying to get her attention. Girls can see that a mile away. Your mindset should be to practice your skills with marginally attractive women. Just flirt with them, and see what kind of IOIs they flash you and in your mind keep track of what's working and what isn't. Kino escalate, neg, break rapport, etc. Like a mad scientist throwing chemicals together to see what happens... You'll have so much fun you'll forget about the original girl.

If you can achieve this, then I guarantee she will notice. If she's hot, she'll be bored by the guys who are hitting on her and intrigued by the guy who's hitting on other women, especially since you've already put her in the friend zone. Now, be careful. She'll do a bunch of very subtle things to try to see if she can get your attention back, walking through your sightlines, brushing up against you as she passes, asking you lame questions. Stay strong! If you're talking to a 7 and the HB comes over, introduce the HB as your "friend" then keep hitting on the 7. The HB doesn't perceive the other girl as a 7; she sees her as having *something* that the HB lacks, and this drives her crazy with jealousy.

If the HB is using these little tricks to get your attention, AND if you are able to resist them, THEN you can swoop back at her at the end of the night and say, "Fuck it, I can't be friends with you. There's too much attraction, and I know you feel it, too. (Massive eye contact, take her hand in yours, etc.) Let's go somewhere to talk." Isolate, then escalate and you're out of the rough, onto the green.

In terms of setting up a meet with her, I would suggest it be some place where you're gonna be with friends and she can bring friends. (Heh, maybe ask her if she has any cute friends.) Not much chance of getting her on a one-on-one outing. I know it seems like you have nothing to lose by going caveman, but you do: namely, your pride. Also, that just never works.
Perfect - This second assurance is exactly what I needed to hear , to tell me I'm on the right track . I often over analyze this shit out of everything (Its something I need to learn not to do)

I know for a fact it will get to her , she'll notice the second i don't let her give me her " One minute hug" , I'll just break it off like a normal hug ... like a "friend" .. that should already get the idea of somethings up in her head. So she'll notice my every move.
Quote:
If you bump into her again, you must NOT have the mindset that you're trying to get her attention.
This I will force myself to do. It must be as if she is not even there... and what a great way to practice 'the compliance ladder' on new targets ! I've been wanting to get this part of my game up there.

Thanks For the Feedback !

Ill let you know how my freeze out goes , if she contacts me or not , etc...


Let the games begin ... again :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:47 pm 
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Hey mate,

The thread linked above is to my thread-so I feel your pain. It is hard when you really like a girl, thing I is I am only focusing on her beauty not her personality.

Rcently found out that she is texting/hanging around with another guy at work, some girls arn't just meant to be got buddy.

If you try everything and its still hard, would you really want a realationship with this girl? A screw is a screw but sometimes afterwards you will feel like shit especially if she isn't interested in more.

I'm trying my best to freeze her(2 days and counting) , good luck mate


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:16 pm 
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Hey mate,

The thread linked above is to my thread-so I feel your pain. It is hard when you really like a girl, thing I is I am only focusing on her beauty not her personality.

Rcently found out that she is texting/hanging around with another guy at work, some girls arn't just meant to be got buddy.

If you try everything and its still hard, would you really want a realationship with this girl? A screw is a screw but sometimes afterwards you will feel like shit especially if she isn't interested in more.

I'm trying my best to freeze her(2 days and counting) , good luck mate
I read the thread now as a recap.

I think the advice given by the other guys is spot on.

and if it doesn't work ... move on.

I've come to terms with that ... if shes over me. I'm moving on.

Freeze outs are hard ! but you gotta be strong and own it .
Remember DONT let chicks get you down, yeah , they can mess with your head... but at the end of the day , it YOUR head. YOU control it.

And the best advice I can give you , is find another girl or 2 to keep you occupied while you work this one. That way she wont have your full attention and your freeze out will be much easier as you'll have options.

Good luck Dude !


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:36 pm 
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cheers buddy,all the best to you aswell.

Happy xmas pulling! :D


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:05 pm 
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find another girl or 2 to keep you occupied while you work this one
very true. I always find the best solution to heartbreak, and problem chicks is having more options.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:50 pm 
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One more thing, and I can't stress this enough: Do not become outcome-oriented. Enjoy the seduction process, the failures as much as the successes. I'll illustrate this with a personal experience.

I've been working on a girl who has a very serious boyfriend. We've been spending a lot of time together and last Fri she came over to my place. We started getting close to a makeout session and more, and then she blew the whistle, said she didn't want to wreck her relationship because her boyfriend is a sweet guy, etc.

We stayed up till the wee hours, just holding hands and having great conversation, during which time I learned so much about what her boyfriend was doing wrong and what she likes... it was a priceless education, and I understand women better thanks to her.

I'm actually glad we didn't have sex, because this girl has real feelings for me and I don't want to hurt her. Plus, she can be a female wing for me (knows I play the field), she can introduce me to her friends, and she is actually just a really good friend. Put it all together, and it's better than a drunken lay followed by an awkward morning.

Gambit - maybe this girl can be the same kind of thing for you. Don't make it your goal to have sex with her. Your goal should be to enjoy the challenge of becoming intimate with her -- if not physically than emotionally. If you can convince yourself that you're glad to have her friendship, no strings attached, then you'll convince her and leave her wondering whether she put you in the friend zone or vice versa. Of course, the key is to also be more sexually aggressive to other women, otherwise you just seem like one of these chumps waiting for a girl to "settle" for him.

It's a tough mission, man. But like I said, try to enjoy the challenge.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:53 am 
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One more thing, and I can't stress this enough: Do not become outcome-oriented. Enjoy the seduction process, the failures as much as the successes.

It's a tough mission, man. But like I said, try to enjoy the challenge.
Hell yeah tenonine got it right it is best to always be preselected. Ill attempt to illustrate the thinking.

Or, what to do if your in a situation where your in a bar, thinking of the HB9 because she is there while your talking to some other girl.

Relax and forget her, Just think, How do I have fun? Women will notice this change in thought. And when your having fun you are not (over-thinking) anything. GL

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