Has it occurred to you that yes, maybe she is attracted to you and maybe she does want you. But that she will resist any advances on the basis of what you have stated? So maybe she is attracted, but some girls can resist that pull because of something strong, so in this case let's say she wants you, she has a confliction because of her work and personal life. Right now to me it sounds like her professional life is winning this conflict. On one hand she has you and what you have to offer, but on the other it's something different, and from what I have read she can't really have both unless she wants disappointment and if she does have both there could be severe repercussions.

I wish you nothing but luck.

But just be warned, don't believe the hype that pick up artists are trying to feed you through their marketing. Not all girls are in dead end, shitty relationships and are willing to cheat on their boyfriends, no matter how many "BF destroyers" you use. Some girls are in happy relationships and won't cheat.
Not all girls will sleep with you on the first night of meeting them, no matter how much attraction you build, or how good you are at seducing. Some girls will resist because their beliefs and values (such as not sleeping with someone on the first night) can sadly, overcome any temptations for sex on the first night with a guy. Some will not sleep with you on the first night, but will want to get to know you better.
And not all therapists will succumb to temptations and take the risk of being involved with their patients no matter how attracted they are.
(Don't get me wrong: some girls WILL cheat on their boyfriends, they WILL sleep with someone on the first night; but like I said, there are some that WON'T)

Although this isn't always they case , maybe this therapist will be different and you will end up sleeping with her. I've stated my opinion and I hope for you sake you could prove me wrong.
Like I said, I wish you luck.

Well damn man

Now I can see why you're in therapy lol

You live in your head and think about things over and over rather than taking action to get what you really want in life

Ever hear of that "going caveman" technique? Jesus, I got bored of this thread a long time ago.

I have to agree with Chief. And vizzy makes a good point as well.

Seriously man, get out of your head; it will steer you wrong so often, its ridiculous. If you want something to happen with this chick it's obviously not going to be initiated by her. You need to make a move.

One last thing. From everything you've said, it just sounds to me like your therapist wants to know that you're not going to "love her and leave her" or "fuck her and duck her" or "bump her and dump her." (I made those last two up, nice right?) What I'm trying to say is she wants to know that you're not just a casual affair that could ruin her professional and possibly personal lives. Let me repeat that in bold:

She wants to know that you're not just a casual affair that could blow up in her face; she wants to make sure you're worth it.

That's my take on it from everything you've said about how borderline crazy she's been acting. So I would say that you should think about that and really consider if you're looking for anything more than a casual-affair/awesome-fantasy-come-true with this girl.

Anyway, I hope everything works out for the best.

- TD out

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

You're right. The thing is, the situation is much more sensitive than 99% of girl situations. So I've been really paranoid about making a move, because that could quite possibly make her say we're done, no more meetings, and then I'm done for good. But now I'm starting to think that she wouldn't do that, even if she initially refused me. She clearly likes the chase. So I'm gonna try to set up a situation where I can make a move today. And if she resists then I'll pull out as fast as possible so she won't have much basis to be mad at me or say that we can't see each other anymore.

Tony I'm not sure what I want with her. I'm definitely interested in her in more than a one-night stand sense, but who knows what would happen.

Talking to the fake facebook profile, I mentioned that I might not give the girl a mixtape at all, as she's playing too many games and I'm started to get bored. Haha. So hopefully that'll set up the situation well for tonight...

Alright good, as long as you know that you want more than a one night stand that's a good start. And don't worry if she rejects it when you make a move, it's more important that you make a move and see what happens so you can learn from it and move on (whether that is moving on as in saying goodbye to her or tearing her clothes off is not important).

When you post on this topic again I want to only hear that you made a move, I don't care if she rejects you, I just want you to make a move. I hope you don't get rejected but if you do just realize that you can always move on. but to be honest, from everything I've read it does not sound like she would reject you, she might not respond great at first, but she would likely warm up after a few moments.

Luck is for Pussies, (so I won't say good luck) go out there and take what you want.

- TD out.

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

Do you know the difference between token resistance and rejection?

If you "pull out as fast as possible" in response to token resistance, that's not good.

expand on this. help me out here. i've only got an hour or so.

Token resistance = when a girl says no just because she has to. if she doesn't, that means she is responsible for the sexual stuff which means she is a slut. token resistence will not escalate into her saying "no" more angrily as you persist. her words will be incongruent to how her actions respond to yours.

real resistence/rejection = when a girl says no, then you persist, then she says "no" more angrily or more seriously or more firmly, whatever.

You know this is a nice fantasy, but you're asking for big trouble.

Dating a girl who is married or still in a relationship is a big no no.

1st what are you going to do if you actually fall for her?
2nd what if the OM decided to kill you or BTS out of you? Have you seen the news lately about crazy things men and women do to each other when marrieages fall apart?
3rd if she does not have the balls to end the relationship, and hang with you, then it's gonna go nowhere. She'll go back to her spouse 99% of the time
4th If the ideal situation happened, and after messing around with you, she decided to end her marriage/relationship and stay with you... guess what 6 months, 12 months 2 years into your relationship, she is going to do the exact same thing to you.
These girls are low self esteem flakes, stay as far away as you can, unless you like being around a fan, with $hit flying into it.

Spend your energy on some girl that is more likely to bear fruit. The above is a waste of your time

Man Come on.
Yes ego should be careful, but I think he already is extremely careful!
I wish I had that thing going on with a hot therapist, I would definitely not let my chances pass

_________________
Failure was never an option


Because girls don't like sex.. Yeah RIGHT!
Why else do you think girls have P*ssies

Im with Steke here. Youre making a big deal, 3 year relationship thing out of it. I say, in Tony's words, "fuck her and duck her". Or, even better, "fuck her repeatedly THEN duck her".

Any updates ego?

Okay, the update is this. I'm going INSANE.

I had been talking to her fake facebook profile online. Fake facebook profile is DEFINITELY her, she's asking me all sorts of questions about my personal life, who i'm seeing, how i feel about them, blah blah blah. (This isn't the only reason I say it's her.) The fake facebook profile gave me the impression that I should come on to her. (She didn't SAY this but she said i needed to stop playing games, make my feelings clear, etc.)

So I did this last week. I told her how I felt, etc. The problem with the therapist situation is, it's almost impossible to bridge the spatial gap. You just can't get that close to her without it immediately and apparently becoming unprofessional. Which puts you at a huge advantage, because you have to try to convince them with words and it doesn't work.

So anyway, I said fuck it and told her how I felt, etc. She told me she basically felt the same way (though she won't say it explicitly -- which is annoying as hell). It ended up with her accusing me of creating a fake facebook profile and adding her (which I DIDN'T), while I accused her of the opposite. (She denied it, but I'm still 100% convinced it is her.)

Anyway, it quickly got really weird, and she said various things that suggested she was getting uncomfortable around me, and she kept mentioning that I could assault her or something. This really freaked me out and I got a horribly feeling that she could accuse me of rape or something, so I left pretty quickly after that.

So she texts with me the next day, tells me she heard the Amerie song "One Thing" (the song I mentioned before), and then ends up calling me more or less to apologize and to say that we got off on the wrong foot and she wanted me to be comfortable and wanted me to know that she didn't feel at all uncomfortable around me and it was more just on principle she doesn't want to be in that situation with men, it had nothing to do with her judgement of me.

Anyway, so a couple of days later she unblocks me on facebook (although she told me we couldn't be friends because it's got my real name and all that jazz), AND gmail, etc. We start talking again.

I go to my appointment yesterday with the intent of making a move. I do, and she asks me to step back. I do this a few times, and she always has the kind of hestitation that makes me know she's half into it but doesn't also want to let it happen. (I mean, she'll let me touch her for a second or two and then say, Michael, you have to move back. And then it'll happen again, etc., and she'll never actually tell me to leave, which I know she would if she was deadset against it.)

Strangely, when I told her I was into her, she said "Well you tell me that but I don't really see it, you don't show it, etc." Which to me suggested that she WANTED me to show it. (Soon after that is when I tried to get closer to her.)

Anyway we went around in circles for a long time, she tells me that she feels fine with it and I dont' make her uncomfortable and she really looks forward to seeing me every week and I'm her favorite client and if she were my highschool teacher she'd be the one that kept calling me after I graduated and asking me how I was doing, BUT she can't do that and we can never have anything more than we have now, since she's my therapist and it would destroy her whole life.

She tells me that she's going to delete my fake facebook profile since I probably already saw what I wanted and it'd be best to keep our relationship professional, and that she's going to block my real facebook again and delete me from her gmail. I say okay. I go home and delete her from my facebook before she deletes me.

She ends up coming ON gmail, we talk for a while, we get all riled up at each other again. She agrees that we've put a spell on each other. Etc. Then I go to bed. And she starts talking to me again this morning before I go to work. I'm pretty sure she still hasn't deleted me from gmail chat.

I told her at the appointment that I didn't want to come back to her anymore. She seemed really shocked at this. She wanted to have one more appointment because it's apparently normal to have a termination appointment, I said it wasn't necessary, and then she countered by saying i owed her money so I'd have to show up. (I do owe her money but I know she doesn't care about the 25 bucks I owe her, because she's rich.)

So that's where I'm at right now.

How the fuck do you toy with someone who so NATURALLY toys with you? It's driving me INSANE. I have some insane drive to be with girls like that though... strangely enough this is partly why I went into therapy a while back. Seriously!

Also I should say that her main motivation seems to be NARCISSISM. She wants to feel special. She was telling me yesterday, "You're really into me now, but in six months you wont' be, and I will have put my whole life onto the line, and I know you get really bored with girls quickly, you'll get bored with me quickly too, you just want me cuz you can't have me, you meet girls really easily at bars but you get bored with them so quick, I have to protect myself, blah blah blah." (This is probably all true BTW. I mean, she is (or was) my therapist, so she knows how I am with women.) She wants me to convince her that she's SPECIAL to me, that I won't abandon her. She says that I keep almost flattering her but then I don't fully. (Which is true, which is part of my game.) She also said she's trying to rid herself of narcissism so she won't need affirmation (my word, not hers) from me and she can be a real therapist.

I wonder though, is it a good strategy to play into this and try to flatter her? Or will she just take the flattery and still reciprocate?

She reminds me SO MUCH of my ex girlfriend. Flattery really made her want to stay around me because I made her feel so good and she thought I was so genuine (and I was) but she didn't reciprocate for a LONG time. And that was obviously a less risky situation for her.

But I'm thinking -- should i indulge her narcissism to the extreme, make her feel REALLY good (I am apparently extremely good at this, at least based off what my ex-girlfriends tell me -- and they're not trying to complement me either), and then suddenly take it away (by, for example, not coming back for appointments) until she wants to come back? Or should I start playing it cool from NOW on, and not give her any more flattery than I've already given her? This is the primary dilemma that I can see. I'm leaning towards the former but I'm not sure...

Anyone else have experience with this type of girl? I have a little but I feel like I need more feedback to get a high percentage strategy going...

Wow, exhaustive update

I think first of all what you have to ask yourself is: what do you want out of this? Because I thought you were just in it for the fun and best-case-scenario possibly bonin her a few times, but since you write shit like: "She wants me to convince her that she's SPECIAL to me, that I won't abandon her.", i dont know.... it also seems like you might be looking for something more.

In any case I think it is great that you told her how you feel and even tried making a move on her. Even if she sort of rejected you, I am sure it feels good that you tried it. You wrote:

"I go to my appointment yesterday with the intent of making a move. I do, and she asks me to step back. I do this a few times, and she always has the kind of hestitation that makes me know she's half into it but doesn't also want to let it happen. (I mean, she'll let me touch her for a second or two and then say, Michael, you have to move back. And then it'll happen again, etc., and she'll never actually tell me to leave, which I know she would if she was deadset against it.)"


Now I am not sure, but this sounds like she hasnt really rejected you. I mean it is quite normal for girls that want you to pretend to not want it, or to show some LMR, sometimes its just good to ignore her and stick with it. I mean unless she clearly says she doesnt want it and acts like it. But if she is hesitant but not really rejecting you, I think you should have just continued. Women like it when strong men take initiative.

On the other hand, it could be that she is just a narcissist. She obviously likes you but maybe she is just looking for you to compliment her and show your interest, without it ever getting any further.

Bottom line, it is very hard to say from just your description. Either she was on the brink of letting shit happen when you made your move, and she just scared you off with some LMR (in which case she is probably regretting she did it), or she genuinely just wants you to compliment her and is just playing with you. If I were you I would probably try it again during the next appointment, maybe being a bit more assertive, and if that doesnt work then just let it go. As mentioned, it depends on what you want, but I certainly wouldn't want more than a few lays from a married woman.

She wanted you to make a subtile move, and I think she wants to have sex with you. The reason why she did this was to let you know that if you talk about this to anyone, or press charges against her she will say you raped her. She wants to scare you out of telling anyone.
Its her defense mechanism cuz she is really scared someone will find out, she loses her husband and she loses her job and she loses her future. There is a lot on the line for her.
Im not sure how to get around this but I suggest that you create huge attraction and then subconsciously let her know that "its okay". Also make sure that she trusts you that you wont tell anyone.

_________________
Failure was never an option


Because girls don't like sex.. Yeah RIGHT!
Why else do you think girls have P*ssies