Both of you are right and I would much rather up front that skirting around the issue. So thank you for your insights... it gave me the courage and motivation and even the questioning in my mind to really think what the hell is going on.

We went out for drinks after work last night, basically told her that she is either up front with me or i fuck off, she started umming and ahhing so basically took my bag and left.

She called me at 11pm last night, I asked her why she is still with boyf and what her problem was etc she gave me the whole story and was honest. We spoke for around 3 hours not only about her boyfriend but told her how i felt and what i felt she was using me as. I was never as candid as I was on the phone last night, I think because I just didnt think what i was about to say but just said it.

She is adamant she likes me lots and that she does need to get away from her boyf but that will take time etc (her boyf has been violent in the past and he smokes so much weed that the guy is mentally unbalanced). She keeps on saying that if I ever left this job (which could be soon) she will always see me etc and cant imagine not seeing me, the same could be said about me with her.

I think I do have to be patient cos I dont think she is playing me from what she is telling me and I think she has so many insecurities and issues that she needs to resolve before moving on. She is in agreement that there is too much tension (sexual ) between but she says thats a good thing? I dont know.


Many thanks guys

Give up on this girl. Totally cut her off. The idea isn't to make her choose you or him, the idea is to choose for her. She's not available so you're not going to keep making yourself available to her. You having to change jobs so she'll spend more time with you is a pretty big hoop. I've had a girl that left a marriage to be with me, so her excuses for not breaking up are not shit. She's not breaking up with him because she still likes him. Girls are very good at escaping bad relationships.

_________________
31 and still figuring it out.

Co-Sign!

Pack up the wagon find a new target. If she wants some she knows where to find you.

If you tell her you want to kiss her, you're basically letting her know you're inside your head and thinking too hard about it. If you really want to kiss her, grab her hair, or touch the side of her face, look into her eyes, and kiss her.

What's the worst that could happen? If she kisses you, you got what you wanted. If she slaps you, you have a story to tell.

_________________
Our work is never over...