Making novice mistakes. Oneitis. Help me turn this around.



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:25 pm 
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Ok guys, well for the last few weeks I have made the mistake of focusing my attention on just one girl. we met on a website and continued texting by phone and she lives about 15 minutes away. it seems chaotic enough that I cant really make a sensible story out of it with any direction. I want real pick up advice, perspective on what im doing wrong. I don't want to turn it around with her, I want to improve for next time.
the basic story is that I have been trying to arrange to meet with this girl for the last two weeks. I cant remember most of this so bare with me. I texted her last Saturday to arrange to meet up, but she didnt answer me back. Then the next day we had some stupid petty argument that I don't even remember what it was about.
Anyway on Tuesday while I was at work she sent me a text that said......''you want me? come and get me. find, conquer, own. be a man.''
I hadn't had any chances to meet her until today. so I texted her to ask her where I can pick her up from. After an initial pause, she gave me her post code. Her post code?! I found it offensive (imagining myself standing on her street like an idiot with no idea where her house is and her watching me from her window and giggling about it) but I joked it off and replied to her text.....''what? is that on mars?''
Then she answered back ''just forget about it'' then I answered back asking her if the road was the right post code and then she replied back...'''I told you to forget about it, I have changed my mind.''
I said to her ''ok why are you being stupid now? im offering to take you out now like you wanted.''
She replied ''ok that's it. that is the last time you are going to call me stupid, forget my number. bye.'' ( I don't remember off my head calling her stupid once but anyway)
I became very frustrated and started to send her a few unanswered texts and then I deleted her number. I don't think she had any intentions of meeting me.
Ok so this experience has made me feel frustrated with women in general, the way they think. I haven't had sex in over two years. I realised with this girl that I was making some fundamental mistakes but I kept doing them like chasing her up for a conversation, trying to make too much effort talking to her. I noticed that when I challenged her in conversations, I usually always got passionate responses from her but when I agreed with her when I did genuinely agree with her, that I didn't get any reaction from her. I feel like I got completely messed around by her and taken for a fool.
Anyway I know I made some mistakes in how I reacted and handled this interaction but I need to be steered straight by the people here so that I don't make these mistakes again and so that I don't get so knee deep caught in this type of situation and so that I can leave it sooner. And obviously so that I can close the deal and get laid next time. I don't ever want to get messed around like this again. Thanks for reading.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:37 pm 
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That's good that you recognized to forget about this girl. It's much easier to just focus on getting a new girl than trying to get back one where you are in such deep recovery mode, or impossible when you've severed rapport. The underlying theme and lesson here is that you were definitely too reactive by her behavior. Nothing is ever a big deal and it should all be light and playful with no arguing. It's difficult to give more specific advice without seeing the text thread between you too. Could you post what was said between you two ?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:58 pm 
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Quote:
That's good that you recognized to forget about this girl. It's much easier to just focus on getting a new girl than trying to get back one where you are in such deep recovery mode, or impossible when you've severed rapport. The underlying theme and lesson here is that you were definitely too reactive by her behavior. Nothing is ever a big deal and it should all be light and playful with no arguing. It's difficult to give more specific advice without seeing the text thread between you too. Could you post what was said between you two ?
your absolutely right. I should not have responded at all to her impulsive emotions. but in the heat of the moment I didnt have the self-control to do that.
I deleted all the messages between us but there are some I remember.
One message we had an argument....I asked her how her two daughters were and she got all pissy on me because I misspelled one of her daughters names. it seemed she was just looking for a way out.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 6:54 am 
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Fucking shit forum this is. One response in a day??! I dont know why I bothered wasting my time.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 9:21 am 
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Fucking shit forum this is. One response in a day??! I dont know why I bothered wasting my time.

Calm down fella.

oneitus threads are getting boring and the lack of parapraphs gives me an Anureism

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