1st date - girl really in to me, but no kiss + big screw up?



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:53 am 
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There's a girl I have liked for a while but used to have a bf. She moved back in to town for a couple of months and ditched her old bf just before this move. She is only here for a couple of months again before having to move away.

We move in the same circles, and she made it pretty clear over a week or two that she was interested. I asked her out, and she easily complied to a Friday night date.

Now, the date was Friday night - dinner, then a bar/club where a friend of mine was DJing. In the bar, there was a lot lot lot of kino and sexual chat, and I could tell that she was really in to me; but she avoided when I went for a kiss, then quickly said she was meeting a friend early tomorrow and should leave. Unfortunately, I prob could have done more to ask her to stay, but instead she left. I've never been on such a steamy date before that I didn't at least get a kiss from.

Also, on the date she was dropping lots of hints about wanting a relationship, saying she was thinking about returning permanently to the city in future, being really interested in my social circle etc., and I'm pretty sure my SMV is a bit higher than hers, but I also knew straight away that I'd missed an opportunity by letting her go.

Later that night (when drunk and high :? ) I thought the best way to recover was to place myself as a challenge, put her in the chase frame and do a bit of push myself, so I texted her saying "I had a really great time with you last night! Though maybe us meeting up is a bit silly considering you're leaving town again soon". When I woke up, I wondered if I'd painted myself into a corner; and also wondered if she just had a very high ASD and just doesn't like things pushed so much on a first date.

I really like her, and see her as gf material, but also I don't want a long-distance relationship and know I could do without her. Do I:
1) Wait a while without any reinstigating or pulling; trusting that she will eventually respond/come back to me trying to rationalise herself why it still would be okay for us to meet up
2) Re instigate in a few days with another push-pull; suggesting that maybe it would still be cool to hang out, but suggesting again that a relationship is unlikely due to the soon-distance
3) Because she's Asian suggest something about how maybe because of cultural differences we might have different opinions about how dates should progress
4) Something else
?
Thanks


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:42 pm 
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"I really like her, and see her as gf material."

I'm assuming that your ideal "gf material" doesn't get intimate with a dude on the first date or even the second date. If you really think she's gf material then respect her, and don't treat her like a slut. Your words and actions are so contradictory, geez.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:08 pm 
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The kiss thing can sometimes be awkward, even if you execute it properly. They might not be feeling it at that exact moment, or they're putting up an ASD, or rejecting kisses on their first date is part of the game THEY run.

I sort of like the idea of the text you sent, but I still think it was a bad choice. Because when a girl rejects you first, its usually bad form to try to reject them afterwards. That's why the guy always needs to be the one freezing out first, negging, shit testing, or rejecting them first. Kind of the same logic as "You can't fire me because I quit!"

I wouldn't try to repair or re-live the previous issues the next time you contact her. Just play it cool and keep it light and friendly and game her normally. Attempts at damage control can often just cause more damage, so its best to just pretend like nothing happened and try to build from there.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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