Hi guys,

I need some help/advice. Apologies if the below sounds noob but I'm pretty new to PUA and I'm just a beginner....for now

Ok, so I moved to a new city and decided to give Tinder a go as a way of hooking up with girls but also meeting new people etc etc. Been using the app for about a month with varying levels of success... Started speaking to one girl and we got on well, lots of flirting, so I decided to ask her out on a date which she instant accepted.

We met at a Chinese restaurant, she was a lot hotter in real life then on her Tinder which was a bonus. The date went well, we chatted for ages and then went for drinks after food and talked some more and were getting on really well. She was doing signals that even someone new to this was picking up on. She then asked "if I kissed on first dates" which I responded with "Yeah, do you?" and she said "Yep, if it feels right". To me this was a pretty obvious sign it was on. We left the bar pretty soon after and I walked her to her car. At this point we'd not really touched, Kino is for sure something I need to work on... But anyway, as we were stood there chatting near her car I went in for a kiss which she accepted, we made out for about 20 mins. I tried a few times to get her back to my apartment as it was only a 5 min walk away, at some points she seemed interested but then would say "My friends would disown me", "I've had a one night stand before and It wasn't good" "Maybe next time, it's only a first date". I tried pretty hard but she wasn't having it so we parted ways and I went home alone.

I waited a day or two after this to send her a message. She said she had a good time etc. I asked her if she wanted to go to the cinema to watch a film and she said, "Sure". I'd already looked at the cinema listings and knew there would be nothing really we'd both want to watch so after she looked at the cinema listings and said there is nothing really to watch I said "Why not come round to mine then and have movie night here" she was a little unsure saying "I'm not sure what my mum would think going to a strangers house" but it was pretty easy to talk her round and she agreed to come over (Result!). Maybe a hour later she sent me this message: "do you mind if we change plans? Because my friends are worrying about me, because i'm too trusting/wild in their words"... Slightly annoying but we changed plans and arranged to go for another meal and drinks. To me this kind of showed she was interested in coming over so I kind of hoped the night would end up going that way anyway.

I cleaned my apartment, made my bed etc thinking it'd most likely be happening tonight. We went for another meal and the conversation and meal was good again, I paid for the food (again, probably a noob mistake) and we went to a bar near by. We were having drinks and chatting and I asked her what she thought about the way we left the last date as we'd not really talked about the making out session. She said "It was good but you kiss like a English-man" (whatever that means haha), I was like "is that good or bad?" she said "hmmm well I can teach you the proper way"... I took this as a insult and that our kissing wasn't very good on the first date, also dashed my confidence a little and added huge pressure. (Looking back her "I can teach you" was probably a good thing but I didn't see it like this at the time). She drove me home and we parked up. I asked her what she wanted to do now, she said "Do you mean come into yours? I can't, I can't stay parked here" then she told me a story about her last bf cheated on her really badly and that she doesn't want anything like that to happen again. The mood wasn't really there and her confidence dashing " You kiss like a English man" ringing in my ears I decided to sit there awkwardly for a few mins and then say "Well I better be going, see you" She was like "Ok", I opened the car door and left. (Not the way I had planned to finish the night!). I messaged her later the next day saying "Sorry about acting weird at the end of the night, I think the drinks got to me all at once" she responded with " Hey! Yee still a little confused about what happened.. But thanks for the evening all the same ". I sent her a response which I can see she has seen but didn't respond too...

This girl is really cool and smart and in terms of looks miles out of my league, just hope I've not blown it. Thoughts on the above? Next steps? Blown it? Tips for improvements for next time I'm in this situation?

Thanks so much for the help guys!!

Adam

Update: I've held off the contact for a couple of days now and she has not contacted me...

Chick sounds like a lunatic, dude.

Excuse after excuse for why she can't do this or that. Her friends, her mother, her cheating ex, her one night stand... You don't smell bullshit here? Cause I can smell it.

You did not create enough attraction or escalate physically on the 2nd date, either. Did you even kiss her? If you're not touching and not kissing, she's not gonna fuck you.

I doubt she will contact you first... But she might.

Follow up with her if you want - a quick message to see how she's doing will work nicely.

It's actually not normal behavior to sleep with someone you don't know. She's not a lunatic, she just has a brain and takes good advice from her mother and her friends.

Yea, I see where you went wrong dude. She was giving you textbook LMR, and you basically conveyed too much interest and messed up your chances. Once its clear that you are just looking to hook up and are simply trying to engineer the easiest possible scenario to make that happen, you've telegraphed your intentions. It's no longer an exciting thing where she has to chase you, or isn't sure what'll happen. She already knows that the movie is just 2 hours of going thru the motions until she'll be expected to perform sex acts afterwards. Now, if you were a girl and that was the proposition you were faced with, how awesome would that be for you? Not very.

But you live and learn. This one is probably going to be a blown opportunity, but tighten up your game and do it better next time. Regardless of whether you intend on trying f-close on the first date, add in some false time constraints before hand. Tell her that you won't be able to stay up late because you have to go to work tomorrow, or some other reason of your choosing. You need to get these girls to chase you and be mystified by you and keep them guessing. You are revealing too much too early.

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