I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this particular issue, so forgive me. But this is a challenging one...

Background: I'm in my late 30's, successful in my career, dress well, drive a nice car, paid well, decent looking and in decent shape. 12 years married, but haven't been getting my sexual needs met at home b/c my wife is wrapped up in graduate school. FML. After dealing with this for a long time, I've decided that I'm going to cheat.

Current situation: There's a solid 8 at work that is interested. We've been going to lunch regularly, texting regularly, etc. She has a boyfriend, but he's been fucking up big time. She knows I'm married. Everything is real cool; we both enjoy each other's company and we're pretty open in our conversation, but no sexual discussions. Light flirting.

Issue: I feel like we're both waiting for the other person to cross the line and make a move. I definitely want to, but am not sure how to proceed b/c:

a. I'm married
b. She's got a boyfriend (not too worried about this b/c we definitely don't talk about him)
c. We work together in a relatively small office.

I want to cross the line, but need to do it in a way that won't make it awkward/uncomfortable for all parties involved. Is this possible?

Looking for advice on how to manage this spot? (Please spare me the "you shouldn't cheat" stuff. I know the answer to that one already).

I'd seriously consider looking outside your office, if you're going to do this.

Besides the potential HR issues, loss of job, a vindictive mistress who could inform your wife, etc, there's the fact that you've got to see this woman every day when you go to work.

If it works out, wonderful... but if it doesn't then you've got to deal with the fact you propositioned this woman to have an affair and she rejected you. She'll tell people.

Agreed. If you were to ever hit a rough patch with this chick she would be able to fuck you up big time. Tell your wife, HR. There is a small but real chance that you get fired for this if problems arise. I'd say go out and game other chicks.

But, if you have described everything accurately, this probably isn't a very hard thing to do. You already have lunch with her, text each other outside of the office frequently and you have a general feeling that she's into you.

The easiest move is to invite her out for a few drinks after work one day. "My wifes busy with grad school stuff, I'm going to get a drink, I'll see you tomorrow unless you want to join..."

Get her out in a bar and it's obvious that you aren't going for business. If each of you have just a drink or two, she'll be able to open up. If she talks about her boyfriend fucking up, just say something like "oh wow, what an idiot". I try to steer clear of the "you deserve so much better" crap. It's just putting her up on a pedestal.

Then slowly get into how busy you're wife has been etc. If she comments on it you could say "it's all good, there's this pretty girl from work that keeps my company" all in a fun manner. Once you get in good conversation and you feel the interest, escalate. Give her high fives and see if she tries to hold on to your hand after. If you mention something that she did good at the office or give her the "cute girl that keeps me company" line, wrap your arm around her. If she pulls back and is not into it, then you've probably misjudged. But if she's smiling and flirting back with you the whole time Just go for it all "you look amazing tonight" and lean in for the kiss. If she's reciprocated on everything up to this point, there's almost no chance of rejection.

And move from there.