I've been spending time with a girl who seems totally infatuated with me. She's constantly laughing when we're talking, has repeatedly said she thinks I'm gorgeous / brilliant / amazing (she used "glorious" at one time), and has told me that she's spend most of the past several days constantly thinking about me. She's also said she finds me intimidating and frustrating because I seem "on another level" and she's expressed insecurities wondering why I'm spending time with her, I must find her boring, etc.

So, past few nights we've been watching movies and talking with tons of kino & sexual tension. Legs wrapped around each other, stroking each other, etc. I could smell her arousal, but when I went to kiss her, she said she doesn't want any kind of romantic relationship now, is too afraid of being hurt again.

She was in a recent breakup (early Jan) and said she still cares about the guy, wishes she didn't, and recognizes that he's a cheating, alcoholic asshole. He's not in the picture, though. I don't think she has any contact with him at all.

So what's up with this? I like her quite a bit, and I'm 99.9% sure she likes me too. Best I can figure is I've got attraction down, just keep teasing / push-pull up, but I need to build more comfort & trust if she's worried I'll be an asshole and end up giving her an STI and dumping her. Any help?


TL, DR version:
Totally infatuated girl refuses kiss after tons of charged kino while watching movies. Says she doesn't want any relationships, afraid of being hurt.

Sounds kinda wierd. If you're at your place and you're already doing all the other stuff, it's odd that she draws the line at kissing.

Never had to do this for kissing, because in general I don't invite girls over unless I've already kissed them, but you just need a good push/pull routine.

Invite her over, act just as you have the last couple of times, escalate kino, get away with what she lets you get away with, then when she's comfy try to kiss her. If she refuses say "i completely understand blah blah blah" and then act more distant and not as flirty. Don't acknowledge kino etc. This is why I don't like the whole "come over for a movie" thing. If you attempt to escalate, get rejected, it seems awkward as fuck if you get off the couch or move away from her. Because there's a movie on. How ever if you are listening to music, showing her something cool, showing her goofy youtube videos etc. it doesn't seem weird to say "no problem, I understand that, you hungry? I gotta get something to snack on/drink" That's when you can separate yourself from her, and make her feel awkward without it seeming like your playing her. You need her to understand that you can be turned off and that if she doesn't kiss then she doesn't get to cuddle on the couch with you. That you are a part of the equation also.

You also want to plant subtle seeds that you aren't going to screw her and run. Drop little lines like "there's just something about you, I'm drawn to you , can't even explain it" "You just get me". blah blah blah.

Makes sense, mostly. Wierd thing though, she's constantly looking like she wants to kiss me, triangular gazing at me when we're looking at each other & talking.

Should I go for it again? Or call it a wash and add another female friend for proofing? I suspect I already blew it with no good opportunity to withdraw after the failed kiss. I don't want her to get freaked out about me trying to kiss her over & over after she's already refused. I have class with her regularly & my campus is tiny, so I think the negative social consequences of screwing it up (too badly) may outweigh the potential for more from her.

It's super confusing, though. She seems completely taken with me except for that.

Sounds like you simply hit her comfort threshold, a woman needs to know that as soon as she feels uncomfortable that you will be cool and back off. Each time she puts up resistance, and you very cooly accept she will feel more comfortable. She can start to trust that you will back off as soon as she resist and that will allow more to happen.

A woman has to resist, it's her job. As a man it's yours to escalate.

Give her a Challange, like: how good kisser u are, on scale form 1-10, when she answer, no matter which number she says, Just hit her with : i dont believe u and smile After that there is only two possible follow ups either she will say to u "u should try and evaluate yourself" or ask u about how good are u. And remember u are always 11 if she dont believe u say to her she can try ant tell .

The next one is pretty simple: step closer in buffer zone and ask her: Tell me three reasons to not to kiss u! If she hesitate, go for it, stick your thong in her she wont push u away.

I think your not demonstrating enough sexual CONFIDENCE! if a girl refuses to KISS that don't mean shit it's usually her LOGIC... so you have to be persistent and try again .... good TIP is to make fun of her for rejecting the kiss then going back in for the kiss after.. this is great reverse psychology by the way.

Yea, very good tip. Another good line is "If you're a terrible kisser, it's ok, I don't judge" with a grin.