I have a problem - I spent the last 4 weeks building up a great rapport with a girl. Things were going well. Finally managed to go on our first date this weekend (arranged ages ago, only just managed to go, both of us cancelled once each for genuine reasons). I screwed up on the date. Started OK, but I wasn't myself later, conversation was a bit awkward, partly due to nerves, partly due to her friend being there as a tag along (still don't know if she was invited, or outstayed her welcome). Anyway, I came accross a bit needy when I tried to set up another date at the end, bad timing, desperate and it failed! Suppose the day wasn't a complete disaster, the friend seemed to like me, and kept making sure me and the target were sitting together etc, but I am annoyed at myself as I am sure my inner game has developed, and thought I was past this kind of crap!

I know I can undo the damage casued by this date. If I see her in person, I can return to my alpha state. I am very confident in my ability to re-build our rapport and re-generate interest. I thought this wouldn't be a problem, as I am helping her prepare for an exam, and we meet once a week. Well for the first time she just cancelled the lesson. I am sure this is not a coincidence! Is leaving it a week till the next lesson too long? I know that arranging a coffee or something now will be beta, and only make me seem needier, but I also know a face to face meeting is just what I need to need to sort it out, and my instinct is it needs to be soon! Bit of a catch 22.

I am prepared to accept that this one might be a lost cause, but I hope not - I have invested so much time, and really enjoyed being with this girl, it seems ridiculous that it can be ruined by one needy and desperate moment. Thoughts?

Don't over analyze it. Game other girls. Freeze her out then shoot her a text in a week and ask "What's up?" Leave it at that.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I wouldnt try to arrange anything, if the issue was coming across as needy, this will just make things worse. If you fucked up, be prepared to accept that and MOVE ON. At the same time, do your thing, with your exam revision with her, and act like nothing happened. I wouldnt even acknowledge it, in that session, rebuild your rapport, break it, build attraction and start from the beginning. Ignore the failure- its beta to be "oh sorry I fucked up and came across like...blah blah" its alpha to be "What? Its just another evening out for a drink with a girl"

As a tip, when arrange day 2's/3's/4's etc, make it more of a natural thing, rather than at the end saying " well tonight went well, and I really like you lets do this again? please??"

You want to have established something in your interaction, for example she likes indian food/mexican/italian etc, (I find food the best, I love my food, and most girls look food, if they are a chips and chicken nuggets only type of girl they arent for me) And have a list of GREAT places to go, one for each theme...once you know she likes mexican, you can tell a brief DHV story about going to a great place some time with some girlfriends etc etc, then at the end of the date, bring it up and say you can take her to that place you told her about, and now you have a mad craving for mexican so she is obligated to go with you (with abit of a wink)

Peace

Thanks for the advice guys - I guess I'm going to call it a write off for now, focus on other things and forget about it till the next lesson. I know when I next see her I can re-build my alpha image - what's the point in obsessing about it now right?

I am becoming more aware of the errors I make. I suppose it's about taking something from it. I've recently read some stuff on inner game, really useful. It helps to think of the situation as SHE also fucked up by being a bit nervous, and by not getting rid of the friend. Also means I can get past this one a lot quicker than in the past - it's just frustrating when the old habits (neediness/beta qualities) kick in at crucial times and cause all kinds of damage!

So an update on this one, if anyone is interested, and wants to give a 2nd opinion...

I spent the last week focusing on other girls, and I think it was very useful, my confidence has returned and I am less obsessed by this one. However, she is still my favourite!

I sent her some stupid funny text in the week, and she replied instantly all smiles and laughing. Saw her again this week, and things seem to be better, there was no awkwardness, she was laughing and giggling again etc. A couple of times she mentioned that she has been hanging out with other guys, (attractive ones!) This doesn't bother me much as I know that it's up to me to show I am the best option.

When she mentioned them, she seemed to lean in and was very aware of my response - is she testing me for some kind of reaction? I didn't react, and continued with the conversation, unphased. I guess this was the right thing to do, as to put them down or come accross as 'threatened' would have made me look needy and insecure.

Anyone have any opinions/thoughts on this? I am not following any kind of 'process' or 'technique' here, just trying to become and present the strongest version of myself possible, but I am interested to hear your views

Not that I have much experience, although...

I'm on the long game with this girl right now, been seeing her for about a month and a half.. she has mentioned ridiculous things like she thinks she's in love with X and she's got a date with Y.

Each time i've just blown it to the side and tried to increase kino... which has always been accepted... and its starting to make me feel like alot of what the woman says is a shit test...

again, i'm no mPUA, but its food for thought.

That's right bros. It's all just shit tests. That's why I often suggest to make girls jealous by mentioning involvment with other women, especially if they put you in the friend zone or whatever. Because they use that same jealousy tactic on us.

You don't need to respond in kind, however. If she mentions a bunch of other dudes, don't reply back with: "Well I'm talking to other girls too!" Just stay congruent and solid within your own frame and alpha reality. Why would an alpha care if one of the many dispensible girls he is talking to is seeing other guys?

What I would do is hit her with a DHV spike of some sort. Don't even acknowledge her shit test and just go right into a story about how you are going to Vegas next weekend with some buddies and one of them knows the owner of a club who is going to get you VIP passes in the balcony. Then get ridiculous with it and be like "That's actually him texting me now...I'll call you back."

Basically you just want to give her the impression that "I don't give a fuck about your life. Mine is better."

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn