Hey guys, Long time stalker, first time poster.

Been finding it easier and easier to get this PUA stuff down-pat as time goes by but still got huge first world AFC problems in regards to responding to a target when after you propose plans and they say they aren't available.

HB - When are we having coffees i miss you !
Me - I was actually going to (generic melbourne club name) this Saturday and thought it would be pretty fun for you to tag along
HB - Wahhh I already have plans for Saturday

And then nothing !
I go straight into AFC mode and am completely stumped as to what to respond with !

A week earlier I had the Ex over for dinner and some catch up time, I DHV and used some boyfriend destroying tactics and it worked well, used a lot of kino and nearly K closed before she was interrupted and had LMR & legitimately had her mum call her and tell her to 'go home' - she called me later to wish me a happy birthday, I felt a bit awkward taking the compliment and made the mistake of questioning her whereabouts and to make matters worse ran out of things to say so I quickly ended the conversation with some generic excuse.

Today called her up at approx. 2:30 with the intention to invite her to a local bar and billiards joint and take home to F-close. No answer, received a blocked number call at 6:30 - expecting it to be someone else i was caught off guard and kind of froze up in the conversation.

Ex - did you call me ?
me - Yeah, If you don't have plans for tonight you do now
ex - oh i do, going to a soccer game with her gf
me - oh well, your loss !
ex - why what are you doing ?
me - was just going to go out and have some fun after today's terrible weather
ex - oh ok
me - yep, oh well too bad, your loss. ok bye

Complete AFC'd and freaked out, the whole conversation was really rushed on my half i then progressed to increase the needyness levels by sending her the 'simple text that will get her heart racing' SMS approximately an hour later with no response for two hours now. Now i know I'm over thinking this but I'm already playing 2 other girls at the moment, but Ex is the only one i really want to talk to.

hmm she doesnt seem very intrested at all, just try to say nothing for a few days then just call her instead and tell her you're about to get a drink or something and she should come along:) GL

A possible way you could have dealt with this conversation is:

HB: When are we having coffees i miss you !
You: (after waiting for half an hour or an hour to respond) Great idea. Let’s meet next…day at….
When a date is set, again after an hour or so you text her:
You: I’m going to this club next Saturday. You should come too.
HB: Wahhh I already have plans for Saturday
You: Change of plans.
HB: No sorry can’t do that.
You: Ok Too bad… for you, that is. You will miss a lot of fun. See you next …day at ….
It is not likely she will respond. You ended the conversation. And you did not sound needy. You have a date with the girl (for coffee). You offered her an opportunity to have a great time with a great guy but you did not “beg” her to come along to the club on Saturday.

I agree with dannypickup1 that your ex doesn’t sound interested. When she called you and took you off guard, you could have told her you will call her back, because you are busy. After you have reset yourself, you can call her (after half an hour or so) and tell her you’re going out for a drink and she should come along. If she doesn’t want to come along, try again a few days later and if she still is not interested, maybe you should forget about her and move on

My best advice is to get her on the phone and as you're catching up, you ask her what she's up to the next few days. Ask her out on a day that she appears to be free instead of taking stabs in the dark. Increases your likelihood of success by a lot!

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Sup My dude Okay, she suggest coffee, you suggest an alternate solution and also set a time, she declines the time, 'cause she already got plans. So what does common sense tells ya to do?

SET A DIFFERENT TIME!!!!
How hard can it be? There's no need to clam up when somebody tells you they already have plans.
A simple "Hope ya have fun I know Im gonna. I got Wed.. & Thurs.. off so I'll see if can fit you in, in any of those"
If she's down, proceed with the logistics.

If she flakes on that. Next her.
What most newbs do is over-analyse every aspect, and try to look for the "PUA solution" to the simplest scenarios. Stop over thinking everyhing and just keep it simple.

Now to your EX.
I'm not even gonna give you that whole "Don't fuck you ex. moral speech"
'Cause I'd be a hypocrite, I recently banged mine, soo...
An-y-way i'm sure there's a completely logical explanation for why your ex is just that, your ex.
And It's clear to me that you still have some unresolved feelings towards her, unless she feels the same, I suggest you move on dude. She does have a BF, you know.
One-itis only have one cure.

-Page

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