I have a D2 coming up (my first since my breakup, still recovering), likely today in a few hours. Maybe this is too close to get any advice in time. I intend to talk about how it went in this thread as well, so it won't be a total waste.

Met this short cuta thai chick in a bar/disco on saturday. Got her number as both my guy group and her girl group were leaving. Tried to get a kiss on the cheek, but her filipino friend told me "it was forbidden" :/. They don't speak the national language here, so we communicate in english. Sent her a text message, telling her that I hoped all of them got home safe and that I would talk to her soon. On sunday evening I called her, and we now have a likely (I know :/) meeting for coffee today in 3-4 hours. She was very nervous on the phone, and wanted to know where we were going. She probably know nothing about western dating culture, and is afraid that I'd do something to her. We are going to a place that is very public, so she shouldn't have any reason to worry.

Now, we had fairly good rapport in the club on saturday, but she seemed reserved. She seemed mostly interrested in the fact that I am studying for a high status profession, which sets my alarm bells of (is she greedy?). My buddy told me not to worry about it. What do you guys think? I tried to get her outside the club so we could talk where it was more quiet. She did follow me downstairs, but "couldn't" leave since she left her ID upstairs. I suggested that we go up and get it, so I could show her where I study (close by). This might have been a mistake. When we went up she couldn't find it or something.

My kino wasn't stellar. I touched her arm several times in a playful fashion, touched her back as I walked a bit behind her when we went somewhere together. I also touched both her arms and her face, trying to guess how old she was. She backed up as I was feeling her cheeks, but not far enough to have my arms fall of them.

On the phone, she asked me whether my friend was coming as well. I told her that he wasn't, that it was just me and her. Think this is a sign that I was not the most interresting guy in our group? She didn't talk much to him, but that could be because she is shy rather than that she didn't want to.

Anyway, I would like to have a cup of coffee, then move her to another place at the date. I have no place to bring her should I want to FC, though I don't have the balls/skills to go for that anyway. What I would like to hear your point of views on is how to go for the kiss, and how to tell how ready she is. I have no idea how to read these shy east asian girls.

Hope this wasn't too long.

Seems she's both shy and not that interested.

Still, you can be super fun and interesting guy at your date today

If you manage to pull it off, just grabb your balls and go for the kiss.

It's a matter of balls, although I know how you might feel about it since you recently broke up....

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "

Could you expand on why you think this? I'd like to know what clues you got from my post that told you this. Part of helping me learn

1. She's at a bar/disco, meaning she wants to have fun knowing what happens in those kinds of places (kissing, making out, drinking, etc)... If she wanted you to kiss her on the cheek she would have let you no matter what her friend said. (On the other hand I don't know much about thais or filipinos)

2. How much time did you have to build attraction? You mention they were leaving when you got her number, which makes me think you approached her at the last moment. How long did your interaction go?

Remember this: Even if the girl gave you her number doesn't mean shes interested or attracted to you. (that's the reason for me to ask you, honestly, ¿Do you think you built enough attraction?)

3. She might seem nervous on the phone cuz she doesn't know what to say. It's a bit unexpected to her that a guy she met last night (with whom she didn't feel strong attraction) is inviting her for coffee.

You telegraphed much interest by texting them that "hope you got safe" thing, and much more interest by calling her the next day. It's much better if you leave 1 or 2 full days until you call or text her. Remember. You're a man of many choices, you're bussy with your friends, other girls, school, your business, whatever. You're the prize, not her, and by calling her the next day, you seemd kinda needy.

4. Even if she's not from around and her culture is diferent than yours, her being at a bar proves that she's not that unfamiliar with the concept of having fun, or even dating... She's asking you where you're going and with whom because MAYBE she feels it a bit awkward.... (Here you should ask yourself: Am I conveying an atractive/fun/interesting personality when I call/text her? )

Girls like fun, and if you convey fun, make her laugh and promise her (implicit promise) a good time, she's most likely to go out with you without asking about your friends coming over too, or the time and place for the date...

If you're being relaxed and fun, why would she be nervous?

You had some kino and thats good, and even if she backed up when you felt her face its not that much of a bad sign, she let you touch her at least.

On the other hand she was willing to walk out of the club a bit when you tried to show her the place you study.

The good and the bad..

Good

You did some kino
You tried moving your target out of the club where you could game her more comfortably.
Seems like you did build rapport at some point
You were polite and not pushy (because of her being from a different cultural Background)

Bad

You seemed needy by calling her the next day
Don't know exactly.. but... seems like you didn't convey a strong funny personality when you called her



BTW what happened today???

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "

Saturday was the day of the NC, and I sent her a message a couple of hours later. Sunday evening was when I called her to set up a meeting. Monday was the day of the meeting.

I showed up first, and she was 20 minutes late or so. She didn't quite know where the place was, just what underground station to go to. After some phone communication, I met her at the station. She wore a cute black skirt/top with a zipper in the middle, as well as some short black boots with short heels. I made a joke that if the date turned out bad, I could run from her, but she smiled shyly and responded that she was able to run in those boots. We went to a different place than the one I had suggested, since the weather was worse than the day befoere and I didn't want to sit outside. She was OK with that. She mostly followed my lead for the evening.

The place we went to was a secluded jazz bar that I like. For some reason, the place closes at 18.00 on mondays, and we arrived at 17.00. My plan was to spend an hour with her. This both because it was easy to end the date if it went crap, and because I wanted to preserve some mystery if needed. I bought us something to drink, cappucino for me and hot chocolate for her. Our conversation was natural and easy but unexciting. I guess this is what a more experienced PUA would label "comfort building", although that was never intentional from my side. It is just the way the conversation went. She mostly looked down into her drink, stirring it while talking most of the time. I leaned back and offered comments and questions as she talked.

When the jazz cafe closed, we went for a walk. I decided to take her to the place we were initially supposed to go, a calm bar with a maritime theme. On our way there, I showed here where I had been taking some salsa lessons, and we talked a bit about what I do on my spare time.

When we arrived, I got her into a secluded place of the bar, where we could be kinda private. Our talking went on, and we got into some more interresting subjects, such as social stuff, romance and some sexual subjects. She seemed shy to talk about some of this stuff, but not embarassed. Her face changed a lot now, in the sense that she maintained a lot of eye contact and smiled. As the evening progressed, I moved closer to her. I moved from the chair I was on into the sofa she was in, and then later I sat down next to her with my legs extanded on the couch. From there, the kino was constant, plentiful and mutual. The kino was not, however, very sexual. She touched my hands and face a lot, and I touched the same, as well as her hair and neck.

I tried to kiss her about four times. As the evening went on, she sat closer and closer to me, had her face closer and closer to mine, and had some very intense eye contact. Still she backed of all four timesI went for the kiss, which is bad. I think I handled it OK after, mostly by turning the subject of the conversation to something else. I don't think I withdrew my physical contact with her enough though, which I should have.

During the evening, I told her about my ex, mostly as an explanation about why I was going to move in 10 days or so. I have no idea about whether this was good (shows that other women have found me attractive) or bad. Later on, she asked if I was with her right now just because I felt lonely after my relationship ended. I told her that was not the case. She seemed worried and caring at the same time when she asked. She didn't want me to meet up with her just because I was on the rebound. She also confessed some fears that I viewed her in a negative, "whoreish", light since she was thai and working here. I told her that I wasn't out with a thai, I was out with her.

I stared flirting when I first met her. She stared out just taking it as a joke, but warmed up to it as the evening progressed. When we walked to the 2nd place we went to, she started playfully hitting me an smiling when I said something "mean". She never did much verbal flirting, but a ton with her eyes and her kino. Also, while she didn't verbally flirt a lot, she seemed to like it more and more when I did. She also followed my leadership all night, from where we were going to what we when we were drinking, to responding to my kino and body language. Obviously though, I didn't get the kiss or a make out.

When we parted our ways at about 20.30, I told her I would kiss her next time. She responded in her usual fashion, glowing, happy, but maybe a bit nervous as well. I sent her a message a few hours later, while out with my buddy, telling her I had a good time. She knew I was meeting my buddy to go out, which can only be a good thing. I intend to make no contact with her on tuesday and wednesday, and then contact her again in the following days to set up another meeting. I want to have the 3rd meeting at my new place to go for the FC. I move in there on august 31st / september 1st.

All in all, I think the meeting went very well. I am now just waiting for all you PUAs to shot me down It won't feel good when I get to hear about all the ways I messed it up, but I need to learn. Even though I like this girl a lot in the very short time I have known her, I want to find some other women to date as well. I can't allow myself to get too attached.

If anything is unclear or you want me to expand on something, just say so and I will.

Since something happened every day since I met her for 3 days (monday NC + sent her a text, sunday called har to set up a meeting, monday meeting her), I wanted to be chill for a little before I did any more contact. The plan was to call / text her next sunday to set up something for tuesday.

What I am worried about is that it may be too long. Monday to sunday is 6 days. She is pretty shy, so I doubt she will contact me before sunday. What I though was that I'd send her a text today or tomorrow, just to ask her how it is going. The point would be to try to prevent the contact from dying of too much. However, before I do this I'd like your opinion on whether this is a good idea at all, and if so, what type of text is the best. Should I just chill the fuck out until sunday unless she contacts me first?

You're doing good man.

She does seem to be shy though but that doesn't matter.

Ok here's my personal review on your date ok? (my comments are enclosed in this)

Saturday was the day of the NC, and I sent her a message a couple of hours later. Sunday evening was when I called her to set up a meeting. Monday was the day of the meeting.

I showed up first, and she was 20 minutes late or so. She didn't quite know where the place was, just what underground station to go to. After some phone communication, I met her at the station. She wore a cute black skirt/top with a zipper in the middle, as well as some short black boots with short heels. I made a joke that if the date turned out bad, I could run from her, but she smiled shyly and responded that she was able to run in those boots.

(I like it that you pay attention to detail such as what was she wearing, girls apreciate guys that pay attention to detail. Also its good thing you negged her, and the best thing is that she qualified herself and gave you value by saying she could run (implying that she'd run after you

We went to a different place than the one I had suggested, since the weather was worse than the day befoere and I didn't want to sit outside. She was OK with that. She mostly followed my lead for the evening.

The place we went to was a secluded jazz bar that I like. For some reason, the place closes at 18.00 on mondays, and we arrived at 17.00. My plan was to spend an hour with her. This both because it was easy to end the date if it went crap, and because I wanted to preserve some mystery if needed. I bought us something to drink, cappucino for me and hot chocolate for her.
(Good thing to plan ahead, but it could back fire at you. My recomendation is that if you want to spend X hours with her, go to a place you know will be open for more than those X hours. If by any chance the place closes earlier than expected you'll be forced to bounce, and its not a good thing to be forced to bounce. It's an external interrupt)


Our conversation was natural and easy but unexciting. I guess this is what a more experienced PUA would label "comfort building", although that was never intentional from my side. It is just the way the conversation went. She mostly looked down into her drink, stirring it while talking most of the time.
(This happens because she is not emotionally engaged in any way. The conversation was not exactly boring, but lacked the emotional stimulant...)
I leaned back and offered comments and questions as she talked.


When the jazz cafe closed, we went for a walk. I decided to take her to the place we were initially supposed to go, a calm bar with a maritime theme. On our way there, I showed here where I had been taking some salsa lessons, and we talked a bit about what I do on my spare time.

When we arrived, I got her into a secluded place of the bar, where we could be kinda private.
(Good for More comfort building and pre-seduction...)

Our talking went on, and we got into some more interresting subjects, such as social stuff, romance and some sexual subjects. She seemed shy to talk about some of this stuff, but not embarassed. Her face changed a lot now, in the sense that she maintained a lot of eye contact and smiled (She's emotionally engaged now, or at least those topics get her attention easier than other things, besides, "good guys" try to avoid those topics as if taboo or something).

As the evening progressed, I moved closer to her. I moved from the chair I was on into the sofa she was in, and then later I sat down next to her with my legs extanded on the couch. From there, the kino was constant, plentiful and mutual. The kino was not, however, very sexual. She touched my hands and face a lot, and I touched the same, as well as her hair and neck.
(You didn't expect her to grab your balls or something like that huh?.. Kino doesnt have to turn "sexual" in order to prove she's got interest in you, or at least, to prove she likes you. If she touched your face or hands, I'd say shes into you, but shy to go further.. Now, in this situation, you could have pushed her away a bit in a funny and teasy way, you're the prize, remember? Can she touch you that easily? Are you an easy guy?.. Anyways, its a good sign she touched )


I tried to kiss her about four times. As the evening went on, she sat closer and closer to me, had her face closer and closer to mine, and had some very intense eye contact. Still she backed of all four timesI went for the kiss, which is bad. I think I handled it OK after, mostly by turning the subject of the conversation to something else. I don't think I withdrew my physical contact with her enough though, which I should have.
(You proved yourself confident enough to go for the kiss, and even if she backed of you proven value. The bad thing is that this happened 4 times which means you hadn't build enough attraction-comfort for her to desire that kiss yet)


During the evening, I told her about my ex, mostly as an explanation about why I was going to move in 10 days or so. I have no idea about whether this was good (shows that other women have found me attractive) or bad. Later on, she asked if I was with her right now just because I felt lonely after my relationship ended. I told her that was not the case.
(it's a good thing she asked that, she doesn't want to be the rebound girl or anything like that, but she does want to be a girl in your life , besides this, she's unconciously accepting the fact that you're a man of choices; a man that can choose to stay alone for a while or to be with a girl ...)

She seemed worried and caring at the same time when she asked. She didn't want me to meet up with her just because I was on the rebound. She also confessed some fears that I viewed her in a negative, "whoreish", light since she was thai and working here. I told her that I wasn't out with a thai, I was out with her.
(you're giving value to her and that's good, she's given you value too, its a push and pull


I stared flirting when I first met her. She stared out just taking it as a joke, but warmed up to it as the evening progressed. When we walked to the 2nd place we went to, she started playfully hitting me an smiling when I said something "mean". She never did much verbal flirting, but a ton with her eyes and her kino. Also, while she didn't verbally flirt a lot, she seemed to like it more and more when I did. She also followed my leadership all night, from where we were going to what we when we were drinking, to responding to my kino and body language. Obviously though, I didn't get the kiss or a make out.
(She follows you, she does kino, she acts flirty, she resist your kiss close but doesnt get pissed or mad. I'd say there's interest



When we parted our ways at about 20.30, I told her I would kiss her next time.
(as in next time you have to grabb her f*ing head and stick your tongue in her mouth)


She responded in her usual fashion, glowing, happy, but maybe a bit nervous as well. I sent her a message a few hours later, while out with my buddy, telling her I had a good time. She knew I was meeting my buddy to go out, which can only be a good thing. I intend to make no contact with her on tuesday and wednesday, and then contact her again in the following days to set up another meeting. I want to have the 3rd meeting at my new place to go for the FC. I move in there on august 31st / september 1st.

All in all, I think the meeting went very well. I am now just waiting for all you PUAs to shot me down It won't feel good when I get to hear about all the ways I messed it up, but I need to learn. Even though I like this girl a lot in the very short time I have known her, I want to find some other women to date as well. I can't allow myself to get too attached.

If anything is unclear or you want me to expand on something, just say so and I will.......


(
Friday is a good day to text her just to see how she's doing (just avoid the texting mistakes we men do (Look for that post in this forum ))

This time, set up the date for saturday and yeah.. chill, but if you really feel the urge to contact her, a text is not bad at all, after all, its been 4 days since your date....

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "

BassOpens, thanks a lot for your answers in this thread. I know answer givers are in short supply here. I haven't yet secured another number (some nights I am out of state, last girl I chatted up had a BF, bla bla), so if I had to evaluate this all by myself I'd probably fail to stay level headed. The day after the date I actually had a hard time thinking about anything but her. Good thing is that my heartbreak is over now ^^ From one oneitis to another if I am not careful.

Just going to keep on trucking with this one while I am searching for that 2nd phone number. My game is improving. While it is boring the improvement is slow, it is encouraging to see that I get a little better each time.

I may post more about future interactions with this girl in this thread (will send her a text message today, I think). If so, I will try to give my own analysis of the communication and meetings so that I am not only trying to leech information from others people