How to physically escalate with ultra conservative HB



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PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 9:28 pm 
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I've been talking to this girl I met on POF for a little over a month now and have been hanging out. We're not official or anything yet but she is very Catholic and I am too but she seems to be ultra conservative. Like when I made a move to kiss her on our first date she said she likes to go slow. I'm totally ok with that but she also doesn't like to cuddle or anything either. She would brush my leg with hers the 2nd time we hung out and she put her hand on my leg once but then she takes it away.

We've hung out 3 times now and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere other than that.
I asked her about this just now and she said she doesn't believe in being physical and stuff and there's more to a relationship than that. I am not looking to have sex and she doesn't believe in sex before marriage (I'm ok with that) but I really like to cuddle (like when watching a movie) and kiss and she said she wouldn't be ok cuddling in the same bed and stuff. We went downtown last night and she didn't make any moves on me even though I showed disinterest and talked to other girls. Whenever I looked at other girls like when we were talking she would put her hand on my leg a few times but it never went beyond that. Should I start to do a freeze out or just move on?

I texted her that I said maybe we're not compatible after all and we talked on the phone after about it and she said she doesn't believe in physical intimacy (although she's made out with random guys downtown before) I never knew she was this conservative and its sort of bothering me. Should I move on? I really like her otherwise.

PS: On our first date when I grabbed a bite to eat, she asked me if I watch porn (of all times to ask) and I told her the truth which is yes I have before but I'm quitting it and she didn't like the fact that I've watched it before. She liked my honesty but has been sorta bothered with it. Like last night she reminded me of it again so I sorta broke it off with her and she started texting me like crazy saying I was super cute and she can get over it. Maybe she's just not my type? Is there a way to get her to warm up to me? What should a pua do in this situation?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:39 am 
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You just have to take it very very slowly and ask yourself if you really want that, if you do then just take your time. You need to her into that "state" do you know what I mean?

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:46 pm 
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I don't mind going really slow. I'm a patient guy. However she made it sound like she would never want to be physical. I have a hunch she's full of it since she was touching me and all last time we hung out. I'm not sure what "state" you are talking about though.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:28 pm 
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We all have different mental states, when you go out with your friends you have a mental state, when you are with your parents you have a different mental state, when you are at school you have a different mental state... etc You need to find what is it that she like, try to find thing that you have in common so she can open to you a little bit and it will make it easier for her to get in a state where she feels comfortable touching you or you touching her.

You need to understand that women and men don't work at the same speed,if you wan to arouse a woman you don't need to touch her breast or her ass. You can touch her arm with the tip of your fingers or touch her neck... I hope you know what I mean.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:46 pm 
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yeah I see what you're saying. Here is the specific example though that kinda took me back was when she wanted to see me at like 3AM. We both had gotten back to our own places after going downtown drinking and she said something that pissed me off because she was making me feel guilty about having watched porn before in my life.

Her: please come over I want to see you!
Me: I can't drive dufus
Her: :(
Me: Do you want me to risk it? I can, you're a mile away
Her: Nooo
Me: Oh well...
Her: I'll come there
Me: You can't drive!
Her: Sure I can
Me: Can someone pick me up or drive you? Although..my bed is much bigger
Her: Neither of us should drive

(next morning)

Her: Sorry I fell asleep, do you remember telling me your bed is bigger?
Me: Well...you were saying you wanted to come over. No I was not thinking sex, more like going to sleep.
Her: Thanks for clarifying, I wouldn't have come over to sleep
Her: Sorry for slapping your ass last night
Me: You did? I don't care. Sorry for grabbing yours the other night
Her: haha no you aren't, I kinda stopped you anyway
Me: I meant to feel your yoga pants because you mentioned them and my hand was nearby. I know you don't like being touched so it won't happen again :)
Her: I wouldn't say I don't like it. Just not ok with it :P
Me: Bummer
Her: Me and my ultra conservative ways
Me: Well I can get touchy sometimes and love to cuddle, maybe we're not compatible :/
Her: I just don't think it's right to be all over each other sorry.
Me: Gotcha

we talk on the phone shortly after that and mostly discuss her comfort levels and she said she would never spend the night over and such. I told her I've done it with other girls and my clothes always stayed on ect. and she just said she would never do that. I asked her what about watching a movie in bed and she said she wasn't sure.

It's just sometimes she seems very comfortable then at others she doesn't want any sort of physical bonding. I don't plan on having sex with her at all but I was talking about cuddling and making out type of stuff at the most. That's the level I'm use to with most women I've dated.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:55 pm 
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I think you killed it when you mentioned your bed being much bigger.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:58 pm 
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How so? I'm still talking with her as of today. We kinda moved on from that topic though.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 5:48 pm 
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Forget about comments like " My bed is much bigger" ok?You are not gonna get anything like that. Like I said before try to get het in a stage that she feels comfortable with you.

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Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers do not like to do 18/03/12


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 6:06 pm 
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Would that mean asking her out and doing fun things together as an example? That's what I assume you mean to get her in the "get to know you" state.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 6:18 pm 
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No, you don't have to do that. Just invite her somewhere nice and talk to her. It's really important the way you "sell" the meeting. Just focus on get to know her and prove her that you are genuine interested in her.

Check this videos. I'm sure they can help you out.

Here you have some daygame tips but I'm sure they can be useful in this situation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWeQJmdH ... YkdGE8l04O

This video talks about different mental states.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-WCQTlH ... e3j7QUv6Km


Good luck

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Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers do not like to do 18/03/12


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 6:41 pm 
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Hey thanks, I took a look at those videos. I'll keep that in mind. My next challenge is getting her out just the two of us again (no group this time) and spending time with each other like we did the first night. Any specific ways I go about showing I'm genuinely interested in her? I've asked her plenty of interesting questions about herself before. She mentioned last time I was with her she's trying to see if our personalities "work" although we were both a little drunk. I was thinking of trying the cube routine next time it's appropriate.


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