Hey everyone, I've lurked for a little while and this seems like a great community, so I'd appreciate your advice on this situation.

I met this girl a couple weeks ago at an charity relay event, we wound up hanging out for a couple hours and going for a walk around the track (45 minutes) together. Got her number at the end of the night. I've been texting her for a couple weeks now since I was out of town for a week and couldn't set anything up sooner. We had plans to go out tonight, but she has (semi) flaked and I'm not sure how to respond. We go to the same university, different programs.

A couple days ago we made plans to hang out tonight, though I told her I would plan something and let her know.

Here's the last few texts, starting last night:

(Asked her about fathers day, blah blah, she asked me how my day is going)

Me - 7:26PM - Did you remember to call home? I'm great, out at my parents for dinner. Speaking of bright and sunny days, tomorrow is supposed to be nice so I was thinking we should go to the harbour and check out the buskers and all that jazz, sound good?

Her - 8:25PM - Oh nice ya its definitely not the same not seeing them in person but que sera..haha all that jazz sounds good will be nice after being cooped up inside

Me - 10:10 PM - Haha we can get a charicature of you in a goat cart! You might have to sit perfectly still for 15 minutes though. Do you want to meet in front of the XXXX at 630?

Me - 10:10 PM - Haha great typo - go kart*

Today

Her - 11:01 AM - Morning champ...Soo i promise im not a horrible person

Me - 12:06 PM - Haha well if that's the highest praise that can be said about you then you might want to shoot a little higher

Her - 12:41 PM - Haha on the plus side can only go up from here!...but group works in full swing so i wont make it in time...gardens here are in full bloom and i have yet to see em in daylight if its not too solemn for your rowdy canucks soul we can chill there...or rain cheque haha...my bad


Not sure how to respond here. In truth, I could go meet her at the gardens on campus, but I'm not sure if I want her to dictate like that or if it seems weak if I consent to this. On the other hand if we try to rain cheque she could flake again.

What should I text back? Thanks guys.

Your reply "ah it's no worries I had planned on meeting up with an
Old friend from highschool anyways haven't seen her forever and I've been avoiding her like that plague, give me a shout when your done and maybe we can figure something out "
That just let her know that you have a life and Other people in it
Now she is thinking of you and it created mild jealousy but not enough to come
Across as intentional.

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I don't f*ck fatties

Seems to me llike you are being juggled. Her reason for dissapearing - your competition.

It's not a big deal, but rethink your strategy. Your txts do seem a little too asky nice guy. Might want to be a little more in control without seeming like a prick or "controlling"

Instead of ending with "sound good?" just leave stuff like that off. You are ending your exchange with a need for approval.

Not that I want to go all D.D'Angelo on you, but I find the more "strong and in control" I am the more I'm rewarded.

What I think you need is to stand out as a good option she could be loosing at this point.

forget the flake out, most girls always say no to the first date offer. that's just the game from thier perspective. Don't go for the gardens, she is testing you to see if she can get away with setting the rules.

Pick something else, and just txt "hey, I have some time at 6(or wwhatever) you should meet me there (or something similiar)."

If she says she's not sure or not available, just play cool with "too bad, gonna be a blast" and end it there. If she seems like she genuinely wanted to go but can't because of prior engagement, go anyway and txt her a pic of you and some friends or something funny.

Then try again. eventually she will either cave or stop answering. If she agrees she has already accepted the fact that you have the reigns. Don't blow that position by letting them go to her over little things on the date. Show her a good time and you lead the activities. She will appreciate you more for it.

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"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-