Hi,

I was in the supermarket at the deli counter getting served by this attractive girl. While I was ordering and she was preparing the food, I started talking to her and we had a bit of a joke and banter, but obviously this was very brief due to the situation Then, after she had served me and I was about to leave, I said to her something like “you know, it would be good to continue this conversation sometime”. All I received was a blank expression (at this point I knew she probably would say no but still went for it) so I asked “you wanna give me your number then?” With her body language she indicated no and then said “not gonna happen” (ouch!). I could she was very confident and probably gets asked for her number all the time.

I’m not too bad at striking up a conversation with a lady (on the train etc), but I’m horrific at closing because I’ve never really gone for it before due to always bottling it. Also, the better the conversation goes, the more I’ll be thinking that I should ask for her number and the more nervous I’ll get during the conversation! There have been times in the past - not often but a few - when I’ve had a really good conversation with a girl (longer conversations and much better than the one mentioned above), was too scared to number close and then come away thinking “I think she actually quite liked me, damn it I really should have asked for her number!”. Only when it’s too late though do you realise what a lost opportunity it was. For example, when you get a really nice extended smile when you leave and/or the girl actually seems kind of surprised that you haven’t asked for her number. Therefore, I thought if I don’t just go for it nothing will change. This leads me to several questions:

Where did I go wrong?

In order to save face when she so ruthlessly rejected me, what would be a good comeback to her to show I don’t really care or would it be better to bow out gracefully and say something like “well, nice talking to you”?

When you’re in a situation such as mine in the supermarket where you have a significant time constraint, how would you attempt to number close? In hindsight, and unless I just “clicked” instantly with that person which is extremely rare, my conversation wasn’t really long enough to build up any rapport.

I guess my philosophy from now on will be that it feels better to ask and get rejected, than to not ask at all and go away thinking “what if?”.

Any other helpful advice for my situation would be appreciated.

try to have like... a mental time limit in your mind, say 5 mintues. At 5 minutes ask for the number, of course by that I mean you say something like " I'd love to (random activity you talked to her about, you get the idea) with you sometime, give me your number" or how you said it. now... dont stop the converstaion after that! It's going to be natural to eject and tell her to have a nice day right after, but stick around... in those earlier converstaions youve had with girls, if you had done this AND kept talking to them, it probably wouldve worked out really nicely, and your flake percentage would be quite a bit lower if you just dont leave right away after getting her number.

It's probably because no matter how good you are, I find it a little hard to number close given the short amount of time unless you really interest her. I'm assuming you have about 30seconds to a minute to get her interested. That's about the length of an opening.

You probably failed in getting her number, because you didn't create attraction. You created a social situation, but nothing worth continuing(in her mind).

As for a comeback, don't bother. Just eject your self saying nice to meet you then. If you go back on a daily basis, then you can continue to attract her(although asking for her number may have been a little early).

Fuck it, you're giving her a chance to meet you, not the other way around. It sucks to open and it will always suck. But after getting rejected, you'll be fine. Everyone gets rejected, everyone gets blown out. It's not a big deal, cause after a while, you'll just find it a little amusing(I've been reading 60 years of challenge so I may be channeling his readings. And if you want, I suggest his readings, it's simple easy and applicable).

I think you're always afraid to get blown out, but like you said, it's better to just go in. If you get blown out, that's fine. Eject yourself, next set.

Thanks for your answer. I suppose the obvious question from this would be ”how would I build up the attraction in a situation with that time constraint?” I know it's difficult but it's gotta be possible.

More generally, though, how would you build up the attraction assuming you had enough time? This is a sticking point of mine and I’ve only really been able to do it when I’ve been drunk enough and it is clear the girl is really into me.

It's going to be hard unless you go back on a daily basis. So if you go back, then it might be worth it.

As for creating fast attraction, you need to immediately starting kinoing her. You need to be able to kino in order to not only escalate, but see IOIs. Seeing as she's serving you, kino will have to wait until you manage to get a second date. Unless you take her hand for palm readings or any other DHV routine that requires touch.