Your opinion on quick dates



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:31 pm 
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Yesterday (Sunday), I didn't have a lot to do so I decided to text a girl I met this thursday to ask her if she wanted to grab a drink. On the night I met her, she showed me interest, she added me on facebook so I decided to run some game on her and yesterday I felt like going out with her. At first she seemed excited, but she had to turn down my offer because she thought I wanted to take her out on Monday and she already had plans for the night. She felt guilty, immediately apologized and suggested me to meet up with her another night during the week telling me that she would have said yes if she had been able to. I have two questions :

1 - To be honest I didn't really give a fuck, I just texted another one of my girlfriends and went out with her, but my question is what do you think of quick dates invitations like this. Do you think it's great because it surprises the girl or do you think it sucks?

2- And more specifically on this situation, do you think the fact that she suggests another date is an IOI? I don't usually look for these, but asking is never bad.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:38 pm 
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You want to have plans in invite if it's last minute. Last minute invitations can give negative messages as well.

Ex: "My 'date' bailed on me and I need someone to fill in."


"I didn't think of you until now because nothing better came along."

"I am desperate"

Make plans ahead of time, at least for the weekend. Last minute get-togethers get better from Sunday to Wednesday night. They give you a good jump-off point for the following weekend, especially if the last minute date is a first one.

A new acquaintance with social value will always be more likely to flake on a weekend first date. By Wednesday, if not, Thursday, she has plans or options. So by then, you need plans too. And an easy way into the world of a new acquaintance, or an easy welcoming platform is a casual last-minute weeknight meet up. If you met her on Saturday, take her out Tuesday.

The venue in which you met will also play a factor in this. If you met at a club or busy bar, you want to meet up sooner than later. The level of casualness associated with the night or event taking place at the time of your approach relates directly to the strength of the connection. Your ability to counter this factor lies in your seduction skills. Key point here is - make sure you meet with someone soon ESPECIALLY if you met her in a busy bar.

Back to the main point-give a reason why you want a last minute meet up.

"Hey, what are you doing? I was going to go home and make pasta but I've had a long day so I'm just going to grab something on the way home. Come with?"

Lunch break is usually a good time to arrange this so it gives her time for some planning. Giving "change in your plans" is a good way to bring a positive message, and since it's only a Monday-Wednesday, not calling someone closer to you won't be a big deal.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:26 am 
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Great reply Spread Love Dears, it makes a lot of sense. Anyone else?

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:15 am 
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Great reply Spread Love Dears, it makes a lot of sense. Anyone else?
Everything Spread Love Ders said is gold.

If it helps to know, I never accept a last minute invite from a guy. If I wasn't on his mind at least 3 days before the actual date, it's a no go. It doesn't show me that the guy is spontaneous, but rather that he's bored, his original plans probably got canceled, or that he's just now thinking of me.

To more directly answer your questions:

1. It sucks
2. It is an IOI.



-Roz

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:40 am 
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Thanks a lot! It definitely helps to know that. I also like how you're straight to the point with your answers, that's all I need ;)

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:20 am 
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Thanks a lot! It definitely helps to know that. I also like how you're straight to the point with your answers, that's all I need ;)
Haha I work definitely work on being more direct on my posts, before I delve into elaborations.

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