Hey everyone,

I recently ended an LTR and so I'm back in the game - for another LTR, because that's what I want There are several girls that I'm dating, and I don't know which I want more - or which will become real possibilities for another LTR, and I'm not quite sure how to manage this. In the past it's only even been AFC/one at a time.

By the way, I'm in England, which seems to have a different culture to the US!

I want to use each of them as social proof with the others, to help move things along - but I'm not sure how to do that so that I come across as in demand as opposed to sleazy. It's a bit of a problem already because I'm studying, so they run into each and me at the same times, which can be awkward, but also my birthday is coming up and I am organising a party for that which I want some/all of them to come to. But I'm not sure that's a good idea.

So I guess my question is about how to best manage this situation and get the social proof, ideally without burning any bridges or writing off any options just yet. If you have any thoughts please let me know!

Thanks!
P

You're playing a dangerous game. And it has nothing to do with morals, it's just that you run the risk of losing everything.

If your reputation is that of a person that gets on easily with girls and guys alike then it won't be a problem for any of your target that you hang out with other girls (because it gives you the deniability : "Hey, SHE came to see me ! It's not my fault if i'm likeable..." etc)

If on the other hand you tend go from one relation to another, the girls will know you are playing them against the other and they won't walk into it. They'll rather accuse you of liking the other better (and if they all do that you'll be left with noone)

As for your birthday, You can all invite them if you want, but 2 possibilities :

1) All the girls like you and will actually enter the competition to get you (in such case you have to act perfectly neutral to let them fight it out, and favour one JUST at the right moment to keep them interested)

2) If on the other hand they won't risk appearing desperate because they like you but not that much, i rather advise you invite only one of them and use the party as an excuse to Kiss close (and more if possible)

There you go :p

PS : I'm not from or in the US.

Hmmm, yeah, I take your point.

I guess I'm not the kind of person who flits from one relationship to another, but the key here is how I am perceived. In other words, yes, you're right - I don't want to come across as easy/playing people off against each other.

But then again, how is pivoting meant to work? Any suggestions you have on that would be great!

I've pretty much invited everyone to my birthday already anyway, but lots of people genuinely can't make it. Of those who I've invited the one I want most is definitely coming, and I keep getting IOI's from her, though she's with someone else. I guess now I'm just not sure of how best to swing things at the dinner... I'll get her sitting by me I think and then just see how things unfold... What do you think??

Thanks!
P