Need help with this



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 Post subject: Need help with this
PostPosted: Sun May 17, 2009 2:23 pm 
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Hi all,

I'm not sure how to explain this since there isn't much about the Day 2 itself. Anyway, here's the story. Sorry might be long.

I went clubbing on Thursday night, picked up a girl who I've seen at uni a few times. Got her number a the club. Push-pull all night and she enjoyed it, asked if I was single etc.

I called her on Friday to see if she wanted to go for a walk around our area at 4 around 4am Sat morning. Instead, she told me to come to her house. We met up at 4am at her house. We went to her room and slept (she ended up sleeping on me) together (no f-close). Just a relaxed thing. She told me a few things like:

"To be honest, I missed the company of someone."
And we were discussing relationships and things about each other etc.

It was good as we were just in bed holding each other amongst other things. I should note that it was very reciprocal. We shared in the moment. Note that she told me to come over to hers.

Yesterday, she went clubbing for her friend's bday and said she didn't enjoy it

I'm getting mixed signals from her though. I told her today that I'd come over and she was okay with it although she was sick. She messaged me at about 9pm saying that she was really sick and that I shouldn't come over.

I did the WRONG thing by trying to convince her that I could come over, not horrendously but I felt that I just didn't say the right things. Anyway, I didn't end up going over and I'm getting frustrated about this. I'm trying to maintain her interest levels but I'm stumped as how I can go forward from this.

Ok, I hope someone can shed some light on this. This is different as I don't consider this as some hookup that you randomly get in the clubs. I'll admit there's some higher interest for this girl and whilst I understand that I'm remotely away from any PU problems - I still need to know what I can from this point.

Should I call her in 2 days time?
Should I message her asking her if she's feeling better?
What can I do to have her to want me to come over again or vise-versa?

I think it's more to do with her place now since we shared a night there. I'm think I'm being over-analytical about this and should give it some time but is there a way to do this sensitively or convincingly?

Or should I simply walk away from this one?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 12:14 am 
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Quote:
I'm getting mixed signals from her though. I told her today that I'd come over and she was okay with it although she was sick. She messaged me at about 9pm saying that she was really sick and that I shouldn't come over.
She was just being honest. Dont worry about it.
Quote:
I did the WRONG thing by trying to convince her that I could come over, not horrendously but I felt that I just didn't say the right things.


Yes, taht you did, but everyone is allowed a few mistakes here and there, no big deal.
Quote:
Anyway, I didn't end up going over and I'm getting frustrated about this. I'm trying to maintain her interest levels but I'm stumped as how I can go forward from this.
She wants an LTR with you, as long as you dont take over a month, and you keep being the person that got her, you'll be fine.
Quote:
Ok, I hope someone can shed some light on this. This is different as I don't consider this as some hookup that you randomly get in the clubs. I'll admit there's some higher interest for this girl and whilst I understand that I'm remotely away from any PU problems - I still need to know what I can from this point.
Your exactly right on all points. You can get whatever you want from this situation.

Should I call her in 2 days time?
Giving her a little bit of distance would be good, just don't overdo it.

Should I message her asking her if she's feeling better?

Depends on the girl, and your game. Honestly you do need to bring it up to show caring, but don't make a big deal out of it either. Something in passing is great. Asking her if she wants to go to ___ or if shes still not feeling great to stay at home and try your world famous cooking..... is perfect.

What can I do to have her to want me to come over again or vise-versa?

Just keep doing what your doing. Start directing the interaction. I PM'd you a method for this.

I'm think I'm being over-analytical about this and should give it some time but is there a way to do this sensitively or convincingly?

Quit over analysing lol. yes, by being yourself. You come off even here as a sensitive guy (in a good way). Don;t forget though, all women like a "caveman/badboy" on occasion. Again theres more in the PM.

Or should I simply walk away from this one?

Never accept defeat, especially when you still have tools at your disposal.


Last edited by Undercover-lover on Tue May 19, 2009 9:44 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 6:45 am 
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Thanks so much for the reply. I appreciate the perspective - it really helped.

The interaction with her is going a little hazy since I saw her yesterday. It was brief. I came over and since her parents were at home, we had to meet outside and be quite discreet. She told me that we should walk down somewhere as she knows the neighbourhood and the people know her. I gave her some multivitamins for her little ailment. I asked for drug money as a joke and said that I'll let her off this time only.

It was cut short as her friend called and she had to head into her house. I can't remember where she tried to kiss me but she was trying to and I, not sure why, but hugged her instead. I kinda went blank at that time lol.

I've called her today seeing if she was able to come out tonight or tomorrow night and she said that she has to get home early today and said that she had to cook tomorrow night. Ultimately, she said that she'll call me tomorrow.

If she doesn't call tomorrow, is that it?
If so, what do you think I should do to divert this into the direction of interaction in my way?
Call her and set up another outing?

Any help would be appreciated.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 8:00 am 
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Quote:
Thanks so much for the reply. I appreciate the perspective - it really helped.
No problem.

Quote:
If she doesn't call tomorrow, is that it?
No, If she doesn't call tomorrow, you get to call her the next day.

Coeus, I want to break some things down, and point some things out for you:
Quote:
I came over and since her parents were at home, we had to meet outside and be quite discreet. She told me that we should walk down somewhere as she knows the neighbourhood and the people know her.
At this moment, she wanted you to pop the LTR cherry between the two of you.
Quote:
I gave her some multivitamins for her little ailment. I asked for drug money as a joke and said that I'll let her off this time only.
Thats Pimp. Especially the wording you used here, you have some great inner game.
Quote:
It was cut short as her friend called and she had to head into her house. I can't remember where she tried to kiss me but she was trying to and I, not sure why, but hugged her instead. I kinda went blank at that time lol.
I think you have a fear of rejection, and thats ok.
Quote:
I've called her today seeing if she was able to come out tonight or tomorrow night and she said that she has to get home early today and said that she had to cook tomorrow night. Ultimately, she said that she'll call me tomorrow.
Are you ready for something interesting? When you didnt kiss her, you made her feel rejected, so she is emotionally protecting herself. The great news? She still wants you.

However, you must close the deal immediately

She wants to be with you, why keep her waiting?

The time is now. There can be no more waiting. You have the tools to see her again.

Make it happen.

Let go of the outcome, enjoy the moment the two of you are sharing. Lead her to the wonderful future the two of you will share.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 5:08 pm 
You should have went for it while she was SLEEPING ON YOU... I would NEVER let an opportunity like that slide past me, and if you get rejected then who cares, then you can move on to another girl. If you had made a sexual move on her at that time then you wouldn't be wondering about the mixed signals shes sending now. It would have all been clear by now. Also, she probably wanted you to make a move too, when you miss a window to escalate she will actually lose attraction to you.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 6:09 pm 
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Thanks everyone for the quick reply and perspective again.

I think I might have forced this one from a winner to a loser. I messaged her again later at night and she didn't message back. I called her and she didn't pick up. I've been rushing this and I'm going to shamelessly admit it. The distinction between what we ought to do and what our impulses tell us to do can sometimes be very problematic.
Quote:
You should have went for it while she was SLEEPING ON YOU... I would NEVER let an opportunity like that slide past me
Absolutely. I forgot to mention that her friend was past out drunk on the side of her bed and sleeping so if she wasn't there, I would've f-closed it lol.

I like to be pragmatic about these sort of things and what I've realised is that the fact of the matter is that I've been urging this on since Thursday. It hasn't even been a week yet.
Quote:
Never accept defeat, especially when you still have tools at your disposal.
Definitely. I'm going to go with my skewed judgment and give her some time. My mate told me to give it a few days and try messaging her to see if would wanna come out. There is no certainty behind this only turning risk into utility. If this doesn't work, the experience was worth it.

Bottom line - I'm giving it 2-3 days and seeing what happens.

Thanks so much guys. If there's anything else that you think might help me with my thinking or forethought - let me know as I'm open to criticism and feedback.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 9:56 pm 
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Like The Wind, Im glad to see other people coming to give advice.

Coeus:

1. You need to greatly develop your alpha side.
If you don't, your going to keep messing this up.

2. Now she does need space.
Your coming off way too needy.

3. At this point, your developing a strange form of oneitis.
You want her, but you want to fail.

You need to distance yourself internally from her.

Wander the inner game area for a bit.

My opinion:

Don't come back to this LTR attempt until you get those sorted out. You can still get her right now, but it would be pointless.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 8:30 am 
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Yo all.

I haven't received a phone call from her today. I'm going to keep testing the waters with this one. I going to text her tomorrow but I'm unsure of what to ask or tell her.

I'm thinking something casual to not push any agenda with her unless I want to fuck it up.

Any ideas on texting?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2009 11:34 pm 
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Sorry I couldnt get to you sooner.

In a situatuation like this, you want to distance yourself. Physically an emotionally.

Wait an average of three days between each contact, and keep the contact brief.

Next time you talk to her, go for a text.

Keep everything light and playful.

Avoid seting up dates or any meetings.

Think like your starting the whole seduction process over, except your starting out with points in your favor.

And again, get that inner game straightened out, or your going to keep moving farther away from your goal.

As a side note: You may want to start pursuing other girls right now. If anything to help you internally, and it can always help you get the girl.

Once you get those things done come back and we'll help you from there.


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