| Do you know whether you’re a good kisser or a bad kisser? I’m sure some girl along the line has told you that you’re a good, or even a great kisser, and that it’s stuck in your mind as a bit of an ego boost. (By the way, say this to girls as an extra complement, any complement with regards to any sexual activity is a huge ego boost for anyone, guys and girls.) But what you don’t know for certain is how good you actually are. Have you genuinely asked an independent source? Well if you have any exes that are still friendly, suck it up and ask them. Most often, they will say something dismissive like “yeah, you were good”, or “you were alright”, etc, simply because it’s an awkward question to answer. Follow it up by asking about what you could do better. To this, they’ll be able to give you a decent answer. Us Brits, we don’t talk enough, and us guys don’t listen enough even when we bother to talk. You can’t learn less, and by learning we grow and improve. Don’t be insulted by what people tell you, just take it on board and do better next time. But don’t ask the same person over and over again, because that’s no good. If you don’t have any girls you could ask, then get to the kissing stage with a girl in a club and ask her in a quieter area if you’re doing alright, she will always tell you and think you’re sweet at the same time. I get told that my stubble is itchy, so now I’m a lot more careful about that. I’m not perfect, I learn new things every time simply because I ask, and I apply what I learn.
If you’re still unsure about what you should be doing, just let her guide you. On some level, girls know exactly what it is that they want, but on a conscious level they haven’t got a clue what they want. How to kiss is a basic instinct with a touch of experience added. But there’s no point fighting her style just because you’re different, let her lead, match her style, make her happy. Some girls enjoy a more forceful approach, they like a bit of rough. If you’re a big guy, these girls will come to you anyway, if you’re not then these girls will often be a bit forceful towards you. They will be quite forthcoming and adventurous, so give as good as you get. Essentially this is just another example of matching her style and mirroring her attitude.
There is no single formula to be a perfect kisser; every girl is different and therefore will like different things. To be the best kisser that you can be, you have to adapt, quickly, while taking the time to learn from girls anything that you might be doing wrong.
Conversely if you happen to pull a girl that is terrible at kissing, you have two choices, put up with it for the evening, you’ve done all the hard work (this may irritate you more and more through the evening. In fact this really irritates me and I can’t put up with it), or get out of there. At this point I will usually say that I have a girlfriend and I feel really bad, so I can’t do anything. I make it seem like my fault more than anything to avoid her getting angry and causing a scene. A minute later I’m outta there, 10 minutes later I’m onto the next girl (hehehe). Feel free to be creative with this excuse, I only use this little white lie because everyone can relate to the situation, and I find it hilarious that I can walk away with the girl thinking that I’m a really genuine, loyal, nice guy. Sucker.
Fortunately girls happen to be excellent kissers, which is why this occurrence is a rarity. I’ve used the ‘girlfriend’ excuse two or three times for this reason alone, and it has never failed. To this day I thank the guy who told me this ‘get out of jail free’ card.
Josh
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CHAT