Hi Sean,

so, as we go through my areas of hangups (like, all areas), and you continue to give highly useful and applicable advice, here's one I don't have anything good for: how to get her to go home the same night. I think I'm comfortable with the 'day 2' or just the normal end of a date. But if this is on the same day as meeting her, or under time pressure, I shut down.

I remembered you talking about checking with her group of friends. The 1 (one) time I actually ended up at home with a girl I'd just met that day, I did check with her friends ("Is it cool with you guys if I borrow her and we hang out somewhere else"), after she had said yes. This was after a whole wedding though, so plenty of time. What if you have only a relatively short time, say you meet at 1:30am and the bar is closing at 2am? What is a good, acceptable but confident thing to suggest "let's hang out at my place"? Which amounts to, making the first actual overtly sexual move.

To give you another, real example, one time last October, we were hanging out in a group of friends. One girl was into me, and pretty explicit about being interested in some way. It was also clear that she would have to me leaving on the 5:30am train. (In fact I convinced her to wait for the 6:30am instead of taking the 11:30pm train.) This was in Germany and I was leaving again. So basically, this was our one chance. The group left the bar at around 3am and wanted to go to a club. The only chance to get anything done would have been to suggest to her after leaving the bar to go to my hotel room, and she would leave at 6am. That is, frankly, a bold move I don't have in my repertoire, and I'm interested in how you would do it.

Thanks!