Just got home from a date now (not the one i've been talking about in this post though), ~1:20am, and going to work tomorrow in the morning, but i need some analysis on this, and it's quite eagent (can't spell) as i am meeting her on wednesday again.

We hit it of in Aarhus where she lived nearby and started out at a restaurant for lunch since none of us had eaten. From the beginning we spoke pretty well. Then we visited shops and bought presents for both out families and friends, mostly family - this is very crusial in the estimation of how the date went, since i said i needed present for my family most since i only give presents for one of my many(!!!) friends (ain't really afraid that she will consider me to have few friends since she met them at the night club where we first kissed and i got a lot of DHV). We spent around 4-5 hours together in the city all in all and spoke a lot about our families (espically hers). I have been wondering ever since if that was related to our pursuit for presents for our families or since she felt that 'this is a guy who needs to be introduced to my family one day sooner or later'.

I drove her home, hugged her and asked if she wanted to meet again - she was in for that (i know i should have suggested something already by then, but i couldn't come up with a good excuse rather than 'i want to see you again ASAP').

This was all on sunday, and on the monday i remembered i was going to the same city again for work related reason on both tuesday and wednesday. We had this following (very confusing from her site) text consporance:

Me
"Hi I'm going to a course in Aarhus the next couple of days, so if you have time i could stop by one of the days? Hugs Casper

Her
Don't know how you're feeling... but i am ready for more than friendship? (note: this is the right translation) You are welcome to stop by as a friend... Hugs Sigrid

I was really confused about this, since she said she wanted more but then she also said she would like to meet me as a friend. I wondered if this was a missing '... not ready for more than a friendship?' or if she meant 'You are welcome to stop by as a friend (if you don't want more than that)'. I had to reply to her a bit confused but didn't want to be too eager but not uninterested...

Me
"I hope i have understood you correctly, but in the last sentence you confused me a bit in relation to sentence #2 and i don't know if you missed a word there But if i understood you correctly i am glad for this, cause i felt you were a girl who was worth investing time with "

Second message of her just as confusing.

Her
"Think you understand me corretly... you are very welcome as a friend."

Still trying to be on the defensive since i was still confused about this message - now thinking she did want me.

Me
"This was what i had a hunch you were trying to say in the first text message, "I don't know how you feel, but i am ready for more than friendship". That's why you confused me a bit Would like to stop by since i'm going up there anyway, then we can take a look at it from there, but i don't know exactly what i want other than to get to know you better, because i think you seem like an interesting girl."

Then the, what i think, is a clear answer.

Her
"Don't think you understood me correctly... It is me who's interested in friendship only"

Bugger... Seems like i misunderstood her, and yes, i know there are plenty of girls out there, but i would be happy with some success, and although she is 'only' a 7 i find her very interesting indeed. Even her family sounds as if they were related to me considering their interests from what she told me about

So...:

1) From the text messages, can everyone agree that she wants nothing but a friendship?

2) Seems like i ended up in the friend zone I am not really that interested in a friendship. I have plenty of friends, no time, and although female friends would be great she lives too far away to be consider a potential girl you want to spend time with 'as a friend'. Can i get out of this?

3) From TMM it seems that i am in C1 now. Did i stay there for too long?

4) Is it common that girls talk about the friend zone at this stage? And does it mean that i need to move to C2 or, as i expect, need to stay in the friend zone forever?

5) Why did she spend so much time talking about her family? Did she get bored with my conversation and started chatting about something that she liked but didn't really care if i would like, just not to be embaressed of silence (which i don't think we had at all), or was it the fact that we were out shopping christmas presents together and got into conversation about our family because of all the presents to them?

I know you need more detailed information about it, but i can't go on forever But what do you think the most? I would really appriciate if you could provide me with the info within the next 1½ days since i have to meet her again on wednesday evening at her place.

I would just call it speculating, not over-thinking But i am sure that no matter what happens i will make her know that i am not interested in ending in a friend zone - i've had enough of this a an former AFC (consider me a rookie PUA now ). TMM is also considered useable in the aspect of fully getting a girl after a close. In The Mystery Method page 63-64 it is shown that TMM is for more than night club gaming - that's how i read it, talking about places such as the living room. I thought as well to begin with that TMM was only for the first contact and what followed, but from reading The Mystery Method i now have an idea it is something more than the first night's company.

I would like to find out what she meant exactly in these messages. I received the message as a big surprice and thought that since she wrote it out of nothing (but me asking to come visit her). First of i read it as if she wanted me for more than friend - then i read it as if she didn't want another but LJBF.

So i guess you want me to tease her, push-pull her, kino, maybe even arguing with her to show that i'm not in for LJBF, and more. I know being friendly doesn't make any tension, but that might have been what i did on the first date. And i need to be fully aware of her feelings when i say something to her and kino her... is this correct?

for the record the text shoulda been like this:

you: I'm going to a course in Aarhus the next couple of days, so i might stop by. Hugs Casper

Her
Don't know how you're feeling... but i am ready for more than friendship? (note: this is the right translation) You are welcome to stop by as a friend... Hugs Sigrid

-- end of convo --

First off the way you asked her to stop by was totally beta, which pretty much begs for rejection. Secondly once you saw the "you are welcome to stop by" thats all you needed to hear. Just cause she added the friendship part doesnt mean that its the only thing she might want, it could just be her anti slut defenses being put up the best thing to do would be to ignore it.

Dude the more you question her about it and seek her approval before advancing the more beta (and creepy) your going to come off to her. so my advice is pretend the friendship thing never happened and do your thing.. and dont forget the KINO. If she resists this THEN go into the push/pull routine.

Also judging and how you wrote about your day 2. It was just filled with shopping and fluff talk, and fluff talk DOES NOT build attraction. You should of flirted alittle even if you had to stick in a corny "well if your a good girl maybe i'll leave you a present under your tree." or "Yeah this santa only rewards Bad girls." or kino her or do SOMETHING that wont put yourself in the 'friend' zone.

hope you read this in time and best of luck on your day 3 dude.

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Thanks Mithos. Unfortunately i didn't see the post before i left for her, but still good advice i can use for day 4 (1: night club, 2: christmas shopping, 3: meet at her place). Fortunately Hobbit had some good stuff, and i am very happy you keep giving me good ideas - they are really helpful.

So, day 3: I met at her place helping her doing some christmas decorations (she had begun when i come and didn't want to ruin it). I negged her during this while being polite and helping her (even correcting her and negging her about how her decorations tilted ). I showed some interest in her cats since i knew she loved them like hell (i don't know if this is making things better though, but i also like cats). We got some McD food and ate it at her apartment and started watching a movie (wasn't too keen on this since i know it's AFC or at least waste of time for a PUA). Her friend got home (she more or less slept there every day) but i didn't want to escalate totally that night, so it wasn't that bad (in a way good since i really expected myself asking about this 'friendship message', but her friend made me think that i might want to wait a bit - and now you two have talked me out of it - won't say it unless she really starts consider me fallen into the friendship zone some day).

During the whole night she didn't seem to worry too much about my kino, seemed to be surprices (in a good way) about my negs, and didn't feel uncomfortable when i moved in close to her head with mine. I wonder if i could have made a k-close. However, wasn't really because of was afraid of doing it, but i figured it would be better waiting until things were totally ready for this (when you give me the green light).

Day 4 (TO COME): Going to a christmas part in Aarhus on this saturday and could visit her on sunday.

1) What went wrong, what went right on day 3?

2) What to do on day 4? Aiming for any achievements?

3) How to move in for a kiss? Only done AFC kissing outside night clubs, and night clubs are easier when you have tried it?

4) What to do/say if she rejects? Leave? Tell her i ain't interested in a friendship in the long run? Try k-closing later that night?

Can someone please help me on this one?