so my spring semester just started and I need tips on how to open. I know everyone is busy with there work. none of them are in my classes and I want to use a (false time constraint.) What kind of openers do you guys think I should use?

"Shhhh!!!!"

"Can you tell me where the card catalog is?" "The what?" "The card catalog. You know, those little paper things with the holes in them and all those stubby pencils you poke the holes with." [mime these absurd actions with your hands]

"Can you direct me to the microfilm section? I am a secret agent."

[play peek-a-boo between book stacks, at a distance]

[start singing "Madame Librarian" from The Music Man]

"I once found a dead grad student at the bottom of the stacks."

"Do you think they'd mind if I brought a triple layer cake into the stacks?"

"Do you know where I can find books on illiteracy?"

"I really didn't mean to make 10 copies of that..." "Well my hand slipped..." [mime your idiotic actions]

"If they replaced this place with Kindles I think it would be a lot smaller."

try to let the girl pick you up?