*Only critiques please

i work a the dining halls at my college dorm. there is a HB 8 that works there too (night shift).It was her first day there I think, and it was like my 3rd. We made frequent eye contacts and she kept smiling at me. she was working on the pizza shift, and I said "pizza" to get her attention and so I started calling her pizza. I was kind of just a funny cocky jerk to her. we only talked for like 3 or 4 lines and I told her I hadnt eaten all day and so she gave me a slice of pizza and said she hadnt eaten either. now we don't know anything about each other, except well were both attractive people haha.

So I thought that was my cue to ask her to dinner causally.

"you said you hadnt had dinner right?"
-"yeah, well I just ate a while ago."
"you wanna grab dinner after work?"
-"where would we go?"
"noodles and comp, if I go with someone."
-"sorry, I'm actually not that hungry, and I have a lot of homework left to do."
"nah its alright, I have roommates haha" and that was kinda it.

I lead a crew of about 20 girls partying the night before lol so I don't really care if I got rejected. note that this whole interaction, from eye contact to proposing dinner was within like 20 minutes and we only exchanged like 10 statements total.

What parts were done improperly, how could I have done this better, and how can I fix my timing?

*Only critiques please

well obviously, in the time of only 20 mins, you havent built enough rapport with her. people think that timing is the most important thing, but in my opinion, the strength of IMPACT is the most crucial thing.

Could have used something situational, like she offered you a slice of pizza, she may have made it herself, you could comment on it saying how great it is, or you could have told her how she can improve it, show her some validation (+ve or -ve). you could have called her the 'italian mama' (italian mothers are usually very fat and good cooks lol), great way to tease her.

when u were proposing a date, YOU NEVER ASK, you offer (big difference). you could have said "we'll i dont have long i have to get back later and do some homework (time restraint), we havent had dinner, lets grab a quick bite or something." make the date sound positive and mysterious and say "lets go to the high street and we'll see what there. or u could have said Im in the mood for a nice, juicy burger or kebab or a nice big, steaming plate of pasta". Make the food sound like its irresistible and a mistake to miss.

Hope that i helped, happy gaming dude