is completely out of your reach?

I fell into a shitty situation again, where I like this girl way too much (i always think about her and stuff... I just can't help it). I hate falling for a girl like that, because not only does it ruin my confidence, but I always end up in the friend zone.

And believe me I'm in the friend zone to the max. We always hang out but that's as far as it goes. Not even a hint of IOI form her, ever. I've done so much for this girl, and she knows it too. I'm pretty sure she even knows that I like her, even though I never made moves on her because we're just too good of friends and it will be awkward.

I even fucked up real bad, she went through a huge breakup like 2 months ago and she was all depressed and shit. I feel like I should have done more and made my moves around that time but I just didn't. Now she has all these guys that are after her and I'm sure she's sleeping with some other dude by now... last weekend when I dropped her off home from the club at 3am, she said she was gonna go to sleep but some guy called her on her phone and I overheard that he was coming over to her apartment.... they're obviously sleeping together.

But anyway, I don't wanna be a part of this shitty situation!! I feel so down when I realize that I can probably never get this girl. I try to look at other girls, but no matter how hot they are they just don't appeal to me like they used to. I keep thinking about her in the end. And this failure really hurts my ego and I feel like I've lost a lot of game from this. I feel like I don't have that charm when I talk to random girls like I used to, I think I've gotten really rusty or maybe it's from me not caring about other girls as much.

Sorry about venting so much but there's no one else I can talk to this about. I'm trying to not hang out with her as much so I can get over her soon but it's not that easy.

Any advice or encouragement from you guys would help a lot. Thanks.

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Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Was in this position myself once upon a time and I agree it's a pretty crap feeling.

Time first of all helps.

Secondly use and LEARN from this. Where did you go wrong, what could you have done better etc.

Thirdly get out there and start approaching other girls. However gorgeous this chick may be there's always one better.

Use the knowledge you learnt on where you went wrong to improve your game.

When you manage an F-close you'll be surprised how quickly you'll get over this girl!

There are always more girls.

And from experience, for every hot girl, there is a guy that is tired of f**king her. She'll be single again, unless she marries him. Even then, she'll likely be single again.

I'd say, don't bend over backwards for girls, at most, give back what they give to you- platonically or sexually- just in general, don't overextend for someone who doesn't overextend for you (or at least even reward you for it).

Hey so I haven't seen her for a few days, and it actually felt good! And she texted me yesterday... all she said was:
"You can't talk to me anymore or something?"
I was like "What are you talking about"
And then she says she feels like we haven't hung out for a while.

I just told her I was busy w/ stuff and we would hang again soon like tomorrow.


But honestly I need to stay away from her to get over her. As much as I do wanna see her and chill with her, I really think I need to start looking after myself more than I reach out for her. At least I know she cares to hang out with me.. or I hope/think she does.

I have so many friends I can hang out with but I used to ditch them a lot to hang out with her, but not anymore! Real friends who never hurt my feelings come first! And you guys are right, there are better girls out there no matter who you think is the best. I knew that before but I guess I just needed to remind myself again.

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Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Glad to read you're doing well and getting over it.

I read the whole story with a smile on my face. It's almost exactly the same situation I was in 5 years ago for a full flying colors HB10.

Real friends really help, hang out with them, continue with your life, make new friends, try other girls; in short words - give yourself the chance to know new people!

That was what I did, got over with it and actually I almost forgot her. Until 4-5 months ago when we had an event we were attending together. This time she was the one going for the phone #,asking out,etc. Actually I am in a relationship with another girl so I can't give her much time, so, it's just occasional meetings and "sleep overs" . I still don't know what happened and why this change of roles, but, really I don't care, I'm playing and controlling the game now. It's my game now.

Just keep up, enjoy your life, know who your real friends are and never forget; what goes around - comes around... who knows...maybe one day she is going to be the one chasing you...

I think that you shouldn't do favors for girls to get them to like you. It doesn't work that way. Also, what exactly makes this girls special to you? With one-itis you usually build her up in your head instead of looking at reality. Another thing, I found it best not to get any validation from success in the field, and getting confidence from inside.

I would tell you to just take a few weeks for yourself and start talking and opening girls at your job or at school. Interact with them and just see where the conversations go. eventually your one itis will slowly fade, then you can go back and hang with that girl but remember to think about yourself 1st. Do not put yourself in positions where you will regret. me first you second mind set< goodluck man

Thanks for all the help guys! Really appreciate it.


To whoever asked, I don't really know why but she is special to me for some reason. She's the girl I hang out with the most... and I dunno I'm just really attracted to her. I think she's almost perfect in every way. I try to only notice her flaws, but even then all her good traits are just too overwhelming. I feel like a million bucks when I'm with her. I love her personality, her style, her confidence, and her whole character is very similar to me in all the right ways. And I feel like our differences compliment each other.

I haven't dated since my ex gf two years ago, I'm not a relationship type guy... but this is one girl I can see being in a long term relationship with. I honestly believe we'd make a really good couple, but she's probably just not attracted to me. I mean I pretty much made ALL the right moves to dig myself into the friend zone.

I know I sound weak but I haven't felt like this, even remotely, for any other girl... since my last gf (before I dated her.. lol). And to be honest, despite how much I like her I've been doing a good job on not thinking about her. I think I can get over girls a lot quicker now, I'm definitely a lot stronger than I was before. After all.... all girls are disposable right? And you guys are right... oneitis sucks and it's always just a phase that will go away.


And BTW... I didn't hang out with her for a while until yesterday. She actually texted me and picked me up. She's been trying to hang out for the past few days and I couldn't just ignore her all the time. And when I saw her yesterday she even surprised me with a present! Something I really needed for a while, she remembered... and she also opened up to me yesterday on a lot of things about her past, which was kinda random. And apparently she's still not over her ex bf from 2 months ago... but I don't think they're getting back together.


But damn, every time I see her I keep getting some feelings back for her. And I still love hanging out with her. But I really just need to get over her, even though life would be so simple if she just liked me back, lol

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Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.