So I went out with a female friend, to meet another female friend, who was with her mates from uni, there was a gay guy, and two other girls, one which was atleast a 8/9. Anyway I looked at her and we caught eyes, next thing I know she goes home to get changed (as they went to bar straight from exam), so I think right possible target. Anyway she comes back and I'm getting some more eye contact, and normally I believe this is an IOI. Which is a good thing right? So I'm having a conversation with my two female friends and she is trying to get involved (even though the conversation was pretty sick haha). Anyway we then all get the bus up to town and before I sit down next to my friend that I arrived with, I hear her say to my friend "are you two together?" and my friend explains that we used to live together in halls etc etc.

Anyway I start talking to her and her gay friend in the next bar about general stuff, (gaining his trust). So he then asks what drink she wants and I jokingly say "Get a white russian" and all night she was refering to this drink and how horrible it was. Then she went to the bar, came back and was no room to sit, so I said sit here if you want and moved over. Then as we are going to leave she claims she is possibly going to a diff bar, slightly hinting it is better there, but I go to another bar with the group, and her n her two friends arrive 10mins after we do. So then Im sat in a corner with friends, and she's sat not within talking distance of me, and also there wasn't any room without me making it obvious I wanted to talk to her. So I go to the toilet and as I put my hand near her leg for balance and she grabs it and like caress it. So I'm thinking wow any this is a sure indicator. But she was also flirting with another guy which through me off. She also made effort to speak to this guy while walking from bar to bar, which in a way, made me a bit ignorant towards her.

Anyway after all these IOI's, I messaged her online (I can explain what was said if it helps) but it seems asif she is distant. So anyone got an idea of what went wrong? The only thing I could think of was after this other alpha turned up, I gave a lack of interest in her, also I guess talking to one of her female friends infront of her wasn't a clever idea =\

(Sorry about the big post, but this situation really baffled me)

I'm new to this but here's what I think. ya she might have been IOI'ing you but women do this all the time and from your reading your post it seem's like you didn't build comfort, attraction. and an IOI is only an indicator of interest and nothing more it lets you know shes kind of into you, you should have jumped on it you should have told stories that DHV you played playful games like the cube, rings etc

Thanks for the reply. Yeah your right, I'm not sure why but I didn't really chase it up, I pretty much was hot n cold, which is bad on my behalf. But I have learnt from that mistake which is always a good thing

Agreed.



By reading your post man it seems like you didn't take initiative when you had the chance. Good move on getting cool w/ the gay guy, most girls I know actually like that a guy is secure enough to not be weird in front of a gay guy and to talk to him and whatnot.

Moral of the story: Do something about the situation next time, seems like there was too much thought blocking what could've been a golden night.